Sea Spell (Waterfire Saga #4)(19)

Yaz cut him off. “Dude, come on! There is no decision. It’s so clear: we need to attack Abbadon first!”

Becca’s eyes cut to him. So did Neela’s. Both mermaids seemed surprised by his rudeness. They looked at Sera, waiting for her to say something. But Sera didn’t because she’d barely heard him, or her brother. Her eyes were glued to the map. They swept over the cowries that represented her uncle’s troops and the turitella shells that stood for her own. The shells reminded her of chess pieces—kings, queens, knights, pawns. They seemed to taunt her, to tell her that she was a queen, the rightful regina of Miromara, but Vallerio was the one who ruled the board.

Neela’s eyes remained on Sera, beseeching her to take charge. When she didn’t, Neela spoke instead. “Hey, Yaz?” she said. “We’re all tired and stressed, but that’s no reason to disrespect each other.”

“I know, I know,” Yaz said, holding his hands up. “It’s just that Des and I have been arguing about this for days. We’re both frayed. Especially me. Sorry, Des. You’re up.”

Des nodded. “As I was saying, Vallerio is our biggest threat. He’s the clear and present danger. His death riders are now attacking our troops every time they go into open waters. It’s only a matter of time until they hit our camp, and then—”

“But Abbadon—” Yazeed began.

“Is buried under a polar ice cap!” Des said, clearly annoyed at having been interrupted again.

“Um, bro?” Yaz said. “Don’t know if you’ve heard, but the ice is melting. And the monster man’s waking up. And when he’s stretched and yawned and got his monster butt out of bed, he’s going to make Vallerio look about as scary as a guppy.”

Des lost it. “Open your eyes, Yaz!” he shouted, pointing to the cowries. “Look at Vallerio’s troops—they’re everywhere! We’ll never make it to the Southern Sea. We won’t make out of the Atlantic!”

“We will! We can go around them!” Yazeed shouted back.

Desiderio threw his hands up. “Care to tell us how?”

“We’ll figure it out! That’s what commanders do. We have to take Abbadon out first. If Orfeo unleashes him, there won’t be any Vallerio. There won’t be any Cerulea, or Miromara, or you and me. You know that. You hate your uncle so much, it’s blinding you to the fact: Abbadon is the bigger threat!”

The two mermen were in each other’s faces now. Their loud voices were ringing in Sera’s ears. She knew she should say something, but she still couldn’t tear her eyes away from the shells.

These shells are lives. So many lives, she thought.

Finally, Ling put her fingers in her mouth and blew a piercing whistle. Des and Yazeed both winced. They stopped shouting and looked at her.

“Sorry to burst your eardrums, boys,” she said, “but we need to remember that we’re all on the same side here. Maybe we should take a break.”

“We can’t take a break,” Desiderio said. “There’s no time. My uncle’s growing bolder. His ambushes are getting closer.”

“I hear you, Des,” Ling said, “but maybe Sera should weigh in on this. Sera, what do you think? Sera? Sera.”

Sera lifted her head. “What do I think?” she echoed. “I think that my uncle doesn’t care how many he kills. That’s his strength. I do care. And that’s my weakness.”

“Sera, listen—” Desiderio started to say.

“No, Des, you listen. You and Yaz…you want me to give the orders to go to war, but I can’t,” she said, her voice ragged. “War takes lives—not only the lives of soldiers, but the lives of innocent civilians who get caught in the crosshairs. If I love my subjects, how can I give a command that will turn children into orphans? Rob parents of sons and daughters? How? Can somebody tell me?”

Sera waited, but no one answered her.

“I thought I’d learned how to lead, but I haven’t,” she said. “Because I can’t do this. I can’t.”

Desiderio swam to his sister. He put a gentle arm around her. “Shh, Sera. You’re worn-out, that’s all. Go get some sleep. Things will look different in the morning. You’ll see.”

Sera nodded, feeling despondent. She got up to leave, but she knew she wouldn’t sleep.

I’ll head toward the barracks to make them happy, she thought, then veer off and swim through the camp. Maybe a breath of fresh water will help.

Des and Neela swam with her to the cave’s mouth. As she left, they remained where they were, watching her, uneasy expressions on their faces.

The acoustics around the headquarters were strange. Hollows in the rock caught sound; jutting boulders bounced it this way and that. Sera could hear her best friend and her brother talking about her as she swam away.

“She’ll be fine,” Desiderio insisted. “She just needs some rest. She’ll make a decision in the morning.”

“No, she won’t,” Neela said. “Her heart won’t allow her to. She can’t be the reason innocent people die.”

Desiderio didn’t respond right away. Then in a heavy voice so low that Sera almost didn’t hear him, he said, “She doesn’t have a choice, Neela. She needs to find a way. If she doesn’t, we all die.”