Savor Me(26)

“Stop pacing and tell me what the hell you are rambling about. He’s not in love with me. He just left me!”

“So this isn’t exactly where I wanted to have this conversation, but I don’t have much of a choice now.” He shoves his hands into his pockets. “I asked him last week if I could talk to you about me and you becoming a real item.”

“An item? What is this, eighth grade?” I snap.

“I figured I should talk to him first, but he picked some bullshit fight about the new horses to avoid the conversation. I just figured he was pissed about being cut out.” He roughly shoves a hand through his hair. “I had no idea he was interested in you for anything but sex. He barely even talks to you.”

“We talk every night for hours!” I have no clue why I feel the need to defend my relationship with Mason to Hunter, but I do.

“Really?”

“Yes, really! Now get to the part that makes you think he’s in love with me.”

“Shit! Well, Mason spent his whole life listening to his dad tell him that he was an accident. He took every opportunity he had to remind Mase that he never wanted him, and neither did his mom. That was the reason he gave Mason for why his mom left. Something about her not being able to handle raising a child she never wanted. I think it was more that he was an abusive f*cker. I refuse to believe that he beat the shit out of Mason on the regular but never laid a hand on Mrs. Wynn. However, that is just me speculating. I’ve never asked, and Mason has never told.

“Anyway, ever since he started having sex, Mason has been religious about using condoms. He dated a girl for two years in college and never once did anything without one. We got hammered one night and he told me he didn’t want to create another accident like himself. A child that he would eventually hate as much as his dad hated him.”

“And the kissing thing?” I ask.

“Well that’s just his personal rule. He’s never kissed a girl we shared, although we’ve never shared a woman for more than a few nights. I never really found it all that odd until you came along.”

“Wait, so he’s really never had sex without a condom?” I ask, stunned. I always use protection these days, but before I swore off relationships, I had a boyfriend. It might have been rare, but I’ve definitely done it.

“Not that I know of. Although I’m not exactly an expert on Mason’s dick.”

“He told me he’d forever be mine.” I close my eyes, admitting to myself for the first time that Hunter might be right. I’ve felt it for weeks and it’s terrified me. But knowing that Mason might feel the same way has me ready to sprint after him.

“Lacey, you’re going to have to be really creative to find a way to let him down easy. This could break him.”

“What?” I ask when suddenly it dawns on me that Hunter really doesn’t have a clue about my relationship with Mason. (And it doesn’t even scare me to call it a relationship at this point.)

It isn’t Mason I have to let down easy at all.

“You should know a few things.” I start preparing myself to end things with Hunter. “I spend every night talking to Mason. In a way, I know him better than I do you. You fall asleep and he and I stay awake for hours. Hunter, he’s amazing. He gets me and believes in me and trusts me. He’s quiet, but the way he looks at me says more than his words could ever express. The best part is I look at him the same way. From the very first night, my connection with Mason has been intense. I recognized something in him right away. I’ve just been too scared to admit it. ” I confess it all. I don’t want to hurt Hunter, but if he has some delusional idea that he and I have anything close to what Mason and I have, I need to crush it now.

“No, Lacey.” I know he wasn’t expecting that answer. I also know it’s killing him to hear.

“Hunter, I need to go find him.”

“So what does that mean? Are you breaking up with me?” he asks, tossing his hands out to the side. The hurt can’t be hidden on his beautiful face. “Damn it, Lacey. Can’t you see I want to be with you? Just me and you. I want us to form that bond that you think you have with Mason. Lacey, I’m f*cking crazy about you, but if I tell you I love you now, I’ll sound like an ass. I want to say it when you can appreciate it and not when it sounds like I’m just saying it to compete with my best friend. I want you, Lacey. Stay with me.” He moves to grab me, but for the first time, I move away from Hunter Coy.

“Mason needs me,” I say quietly.

He barks out a laugh. “No he doesn’t! Mason is a loner, always has been. He doesn’t attach himself to people. He may have had a shit past, but that’s not why he’s quiet and likes to watch. He watches because he is trying to figure out how to make things better. He’s a trainer through and through. He trains things, Lacey. He takes them in a raw form and molds them into something beautiful. He’s going to mold you and try to change you. And when he is done, he will walk away and consider it a job well done. I’m the only person he has ever stuck with. He doesn’t need you, Lacey. ” Two months ago, his words would have terrified me. Hell, two hours ago they would have had me on the run. But now that I think Mason loves me, I’m blind to anything but that.

“Well none of that matters, because I need him,” I say matter-of-factly.