Savage Urges (The Phoenix Pack, #5)(31)

Then she’d died, and Makenna had been lost.

So lost she’d sought sanctuary in her wolf form, desperate to escape the pain and grief. Her wolf, just as guttered, had turned half feral. When she was placed in the shelter by Social Services, Dawn and Madisyn brought her back from that state and forced her to grieve like a human. But even back in her human form, she’d remained half feral for a while, a state that had amplified those feelings tormenting her.

Dawn and Madisyn had offered her a shoulder to cry on, but Makenna hadn’t taken it. Hadn’t shared her grief with anyone. Instead, she’d turned inward, become her own rock. She didn’t rely on others for anything, and she liked it that way. A mate, however, would never accept that. As such, Ryan’s claim scared her.

Still, that bone-deep loneliness inside her reached out to him, wanted it to be true. Being independent gave her strength and a sense of security and control, but it also made her feel very alone. She’d accepted that, though. She’d thought she could handle it. It wasn’t until this very moment that she realized she felt as incomplete as her wolf—maybe even more so.

Still, Makenna didn’t know if she wanted to let anyone be her rock again. Ryan’s strength and air of self-possession drew her. It would be so very tempting to lean on him. But what if she tried that, what if she let herself hope, and it turned out that he was wrong? Makenna didn’t want to ever be that lost again.

Her wolf wasn’t caught up in any of Makenna’s issues, too elemental in her way of thinking. The animal didn’t recognize him as her true mate, but she wasn’t fussed by that. She saw a strong, dominant, reliable, loyal male who would make an excellent partner and give her what she wanted, including a pack.

“Tell me what you’re thinking,” said Ryan. “I’ve been very honest with you, Makenna.”

She inhaled deeply. “I can see that you’re one hundred percent certain we’re mates, Ryan, but . . . I can’t say the same, I’m sorry.” The lonely part of her was sorry about that too.

His wolf snarled at the rejection, but Ryan simply said, “Okay.” He released her wrist to cup her chin. “But can you say that you’re one hundred percent certain that we’re not mates?”

She swallowed. “No.”

He gave a short nod. “That’s enough for now.” She was open to the possibility on some level, and that was something Ryan could work with. It was also more than he’d hoped for. But he didn’t like the weird look that surfaced on her face. “What is it?”

“Don’t get offended and growly, but we need to keep this to ourselves.”

“No.”

“For Zac’s sake. If he thinks that I—someone he trusts—might join your pack, it could sway him to do the same. He has to join for his own reasons, not because he thinks I might be there to protect him.” Particularly since there was a high chance that Ryan was wrong about them being mates. “Besides, he needs to feel that your attention is on him, that he’s your priority. Once you have his trust, it will be a different matter. But for now . . .”

Ryan was a contrary mixture of both pissed and proud. He did not like the idea of keeping his mate a secret. But she was right about Zac, and he was proud of how she was willing to put the kid first. It was typical Makenna, putting others before herself, and while that irritated him . . . “I agree that we should concentrate on Zac. For now.”

But his pack wasn’t stupid. They’d see that he was different with Makenna; they’d form their own conclusions. Hopefully, Makenna would soon form that same conclusion. He doubted she’d fully believe they were mates until she felt the tug of the bond. That meant he’d need to smash down whatever was jamming the frequency.

To do that, he’d need to gain her trust, get her to open up to him, and share all those secrets that acted as a wall between them. Only then would he be able to step fully into her life and become a part of it.

It wouldn’t be easy. Ryan was severely disadvantaged when it came to getting to know people, since he wasn’t really a talker. He wasn’t the type to confide in people, and he mostly kept his own counsel. But he couldn’t expect Makenna to open up to him if he didn’t do the same.

Another problem was that relationships required skills that Ryan simply didn’t have. He lacked pretty words and didn’t know how to make people feel good about themselves. He wasn’t very tactile or affectionate. Hell, he didn’t even know how to accept affection. What’s more, he could be pushy, abrupt, and overbearing—which weren’t exactly winning qualities.

However, he was also relentless and focused—which were traits that would help him achieve his current goal. And he would achieve it. Ryan never settled for anything less than what he wanted. And right now, Makenna Wray was the thing he wanted most. Nothing could make him walk away. Not her fears, not his faults, and not even her doubt that she was his mate.





CHAPTER EIGHT





Mediation meetings were typically held on the territory of whichever mediator was dealing with the case. As such, Makenna found herself on a corner of Mercury Pack territory two weeks later. She and Madisyn sat on either side of Dawn at a long table, and all three stared boldly at the Alpha male opposite them.

He’d been looking especially smug since entering the clearing. His smirk had faltered somewhat when he caught sight of Ryan among the security team, which consisted of three other males and one female. Makenna was guessing they were Mercury wolves, much like the slim redhead sitting at the head of the table who was both an Alpha female and mediator.