Savage Love (Back Down Devil MC #7)(5)

Of course, normal and perfect were far from reality in Ella’s house. Jerry had been under a lot of stress as of late, but it had been getting worse by the day. The long days and weeks were now longer months. He looked worn out, scared, unkempt. He screamed, drank, and took swings, something he had only done one other time and swore he’d never do again. Being married to the chief of police used to be something fun.

Fun.

That’s all Jerry had been.

At one time he had been the right choice. The easier choice. The straight shooter of a cop who rose up through the ranks through his honest work. Then he took the head position and let it all go to waste. From the second he befriended Back Down Devil MC, Ella worried things would end up bad.

And now they were.

She had no idea why though. Just the passing stories.

There was one thing though that stuck in her mind.

Last week on Friday. Right past midnight, technically making it Saturday. Ella woke to the sound of voices. She walked to the steps and heard Jerry talking to someone. Then she picked up on two voices. She took the top step, then the second. Her heart had been racing, her mind telling her to stay away from it. Being able to deny was her greatest strength. And she knew how it worked in Frelen. Hell, she had flirted with the wrong side of life a long time ago.

With Miller.

All those hot and wild nights…

Ella didn’t stop creeping down the stairs though. She went down far enough to see into the kitchen. Jerry was leaning against the counter, in his uniform. His gun on the counter like the way someone would toss their keys. Across from him, on the other side of the black granite countertop island, stood two large men.

They were bikers.

They weren’t part of Back Down Devil MC.

“We’ll take him out,” Jerry had said. “Once that happens, all the pieces will fall into place. Trust me. I’ve watched them for years.”

“Whatever it takes to make them die,” one of the guys had said. “I’m tired of it. Now that they killed Jake…”

“He was useless anyway,” Jerry had said. “Good for paperwork and that’s it. You’re the muscle, guys. I’m the brains. And the badge.”

Jerry had then turned his head and Ella had no choice but to storm up the stairs. She heard him call her name. She rushed back to bed, tucked herself in, and pretended to sleep. That was something else she had mastered. The last time they had been intimate was before Beck was born, making it well over a year. Part of Ella knew her husband had to have been getting relief somewhere else. Part of her didn’t care. She didn’t want him to touch her. Not when he was acting like a monster.

That night, Jerry sat on the edge of the bed and stroked her hair. Touched her face. Cupped her breast. It took all of Ella’s focus not to move. She managed that night to stay away from Jerry. But that meeting never left her mind.

As she stared out the window now, with Beck in her arms, she wondered what Jerry was up to. The easy path or the right path - whatever she had been convinced to believe - had gone so far from that, it worried her. Hell, if it wasn’t for Beck…

The baby stirred and whined.

Ella started to move again.

“It’s okay,” she said. “It’s all okay.”

There was a time Ella told herself she would be the kind of mother who would never lie to her child. But all parents told lies. They had to. It was the attempt to preserve their child’s innocence because it made them feel that innocent feeling again. But innocence was always stripped away.

After another thirty minutes, Ella put Beck into his crib. She backed away and sat down in the rocking chair in the bedroom. She slowly rocked, telling herself she’d wait a minute to make sure the baby didn’t wake up. Then she’d go to bed. She’d wake up and Jerry would be home. Yeah, he’d look like shit. Yeah, he’d ignore her and Beck. But at least there would be the attempt at a family.

Ella put her head back. Her mind started to slip away. Back to a night when she had been waiting for Miller. Sitting out in the middle of nowhere, on a rock. Staring at the stars. She knew that Miller sometimes had to do things. Do things. That’s how he always put it. For the motorcycle club. Sometimes he looked hurt and had marks and bruises. Sometimes he was distant. But when they looked at each other, it was fire. Instant and crazy fire. He was her first and for a long time she thought he’d be her only.

That night, as she sat on the rock, she heard the blip of a siren.

Jerry got out of his car to check on her. He knew about Miller. He knew about Back Down Devil MC. It wouldn’t have been a shock to find out if Jerry and Miller were working side deals then. They hated each other as much as they respected each other.

And that night only sealed the deal for whatever felt like forever. Because that was the night Jerry told Ella he loved her. That was the night he stole a kiss from her, something no sane person would do to a woman dating a biker. But Jerry was strong enough and brave enough do to it.

Truthfully, it turned Ella on. That Jerry was powerful enough to be bold and that he was on the other side of the law and justice. The right side, or so she thought for a long time.

Ella fell asleep in the chair, thinking about that night. Wondering what would have happened if Miller had shown up on time. How much her life would have been different…

A hand covered her mouth and Ella’s eyes flew open. She gripped the arms of the chair and wanted to scream. She saw Jerry staring right at her.