Sacrifice (The Snow Queen #2)(39)
“Why do you say that?”
“When Farrin left to conquer what was left of Verglas, I was placed under the supervision of Major Peadar. Major Peadar—like all officers of the Chosen Army—possesses magic and a hatred for those without it. As neither he nor any of the Chosen particularly cared about my well-being, they decided to have me isolated.” Steinar hesitated. He scuffed his boot on the snow-covered ground and seemed unwilling to continue.
“They threw you in the dungeons?” She gripped the skirts of her dress with her free hand to keep the breeze from ruffling them.
“No…they put me in the tower where you were kept as a child.”
Rakel’s heart stopped. “There?” Her voice was little more than a squeak. “I’m so sorry. I-I tried to topple it in the invasion. I could have killed you!”
“I wasn’t kept there by the time you arrived,” Steinar said. “When Farrin returned and learned where I was, he came and personally escorted me back to the castle, putting me under guard in a spare bedroom.” Steinar’s forehead puckered as he stared at the glittering ice block. “I thought he was going to execute me, but when I said as much, he laughed. He told me he would be happy to leave me in the tower—and it would serve me right—but if he did, it would be that much easier for you to save me.” Steinar shifted his gaze to the sky. “I thought he was lying. I couldn’t conceive of the idea that you would possibly want to save me. But Farrin knew. He had no reason to lie to me—he didn’t care for me at all. Because of his words, I dared to hope.”
Steinar looked to her again. “I’m sorry, Rakel, for everything our parents did and for everything I have done. That tower…I had to endure it for a few weeks, and it nearly drove me mad. I cannot imagine how you felt spending years there.”
“I am sorry for the treatment you endured under the custody of the Chosen,” Rakel said.
Steinar snorted. “It was better than what you received from your own family. I was ashamed to learn from our enemy about you.”
Rakel tried to soften the topic with a teasing smile. “I don’t know. I resorted to books—there are very few written on you.”
“He will be yours, if you wish it.”
“Farrin?”
“Yes.”
She sighed. “I hope you are right.”
“I don’t mean he will just be your soldier,” Steinar said. “The way he spoke about you…”
“I know,” Rakel said. There were footsteps behind them. Rakel spun, ready to face—Knut and Ensign Topi on patrol. She exhaled and let her shoulders sag but remained alert. If she was a target, Steinar must be one as well. I can’t even speak to my brother without Tenebris ruining it in one way or another…
Steinar gave her a lopsided smile. “I am sorry that you bear so many burdens. You carry all of us on your shoulders.”
“It is a shared burden,” she said. “I do not carry it alone—nor would I ever be able to.”
“You are certain you do not wish to be queen?”
“I have no desire to rule or make laws. But selfishly, I want to be the Snow Queen,” Rakel said. “If you tell Phile, I will deny it all my life, but the name delights me. I want to be the monarch of winter and to protect our people with what most would think the worst weather in the continent. If I could live out my days with those I consider important—with those I love…I would consider my life a blessed one.”
“I am sorry to tell you, my sister, but if I must be King of Verglas, you will not be able to live carefree,” Steinar said. Though he smiled, his eyes were sad. “You are powerful, and even after we defeat the Chosen, there will be some who crave power and will seek to test themselves against you.”
A cold hand clenched Rakel’s heart for a moment as she thought of the mirror. He’s right, but how can I stop it?
“Additionally, I don’t believe the magic community will let you sink into obscurity. You are wildly powerful, and you bring others hope. Don’t you wish to free magic users across the continent?”
She thought of Farrin and the pain in his eyes as he explained his past; she thought of Liv, who bravely accepted the censure of other women for her magic. “Yes.”
“So, I will be King of Verglas. You, sister of mine, will be the Snow Queen—of all the continent,” Steinar decreed.
Rakel chuckled. “As if the continent would have me.”
“They will,” Steinar predicted. “But first, if I were you, I would prepare myself for the backlash you will face from Tenebris. He will not take it kindly when you steal his best colonel.”
“True, but it will just be one of the many sins I have committed against him,” Rakel said.
“I hope Farrin joins—for your sake,” Steinar said. “You need a guard, and he would never leave you.”
“I am not Verglas’s only hope,” Rakel reminded him.
“No. But you offer the path of the least bloodshed.”
But I don’t. If word gets out about the mirror, Verglas will be bathed in blood. A feeling of hopelessness threatened to storm Rakel. Even if she could recruit Farrin and rid Verglas of the Chosen, what then? It was just a matter of time before their doom arrived in a different body, veiled with a new shade of darkness.