SLAM HER(47)

Before I could start my ride, my phone started to ring.

I didn’t recognize the number.

“Who is this?” I asked.

“Ricky,” a voice said. “I have what you’re looking for.”





thirty



(belle)



NOW



The hangover lingered for most of the day. Greasy food, a shower, and a meet up with Ashley took care of it. I convinced her I was just feeling run down and nothing more. She bought it. Her wedding dramas continued and I sat there, sipping coffee, listening. I think her stress helped to calm my pounding head. By that end of our meet up, she was the one popping pills for a headache. Then she took out some pink liquid for indigestion. That’s what marriage does to a person?

I took the long way home, heading west, wondering if I should go to the coast. I said f*ck it and just started driving. I went right to the spot where Slam had taken me. Right to Angie’s pizza place. I didn’t go inside or anything. I didn’t want to stir up any weird conversation. I pulled to the side of the road and battled my way down the rocks to get to the ocean. More than once I slipped, trying my best not to scream so I didn’t attract attention to myself.

I found a decently dry rock and sat down.

The water rushed to the shore, waves slamming against the rocks. Then the water was sucked right back out, only to repeat the same thing over and over. Some kind of cycle of life. My mother told me there was meaning behind the ocean. The push, the pull. The waves. The tides. That it all represented life. The last few months we had together all we did was go to the ocean. And she talked about things I didn’t understand until she was gone.

I cried a little but I thought even more. I shouldn’t have done that to Slam. Putting him on the spot. Tempting him like that. I must have seemed so desperate and pathetic, telling him I loved him as I stood there, stripping naked, describing how wet my body was.

Just thinking about it made me blush.

I stayed until the sun started to set.

I didn’t want to drive the long and winding roads in the dark.

I climbed back up the rocks - without slipping once - and walked to my car.

As I drove away, I felt like I was saying goodbye… to everything.





I held myself together. Halfway through the drive, everything changed.

I thought I saw something on the side of the road so I slowed down. I wasn’t sure what the hell it was at first. Definitely not a car. It was getting too dark to really see, but my headlights took care of that part.

Within seconds I couldn’t believe my eyes.

It was Slam.

On the side of the road with his motorcycle. He leaned against it like he was just so casual about it. Like he was waiting for me.

I was in shock for a couple seconds.

Then I pulled to the side of the road up behind him.

He didn’t move an inch until I opened the door and climbed out of the car. I turned the car off but twisted the key enough to get the headlights to turn back on. I had no idea what to expect and we didn’t have much light left from the setting sun.

“Slam?”

He turned and stepped from the motorcycle. He stood between the two beams from the headlights.

In any other world this would have been a scary situation. A guy like Slam, so big and menacing, standing there, staring me down.

“We have a lot to talk about,” he said to me.

“What are you doing here?”

“Showing you something I’ve never shown anyone else.”

I stepped toward, into the light.

I could see into his eyes and they were as intense as ever.

“Which is what?” I asked.

“I’m giving you everything of me,” he said. “I don’t give a damn anymore about everyone else, Belle. I singled you out to hurt you because of your father. Because he hurt me. Because he took my freedom. So I wanted to take yours, babe. That’s why I went after you so hard. I knew things about you before you told me. You were a project to me. A purpose. A goal. That was it.”

I heard the words one by one, striking my head first, my heart second.

The sun kept setting. The world kept getting darker.

And Slam just stood there like a giant.

“That’s the f*cking truth,” he said to me. “But the second I saw a glimpse of your heart, it changed my entire life. I’m the * muscle of the Reap, babe. I pick fights for fun. You saw what I did to that guy at the bar, right? That was the first night I met you. From that second you were stabbing daggers into my chest. I’m sorry I can’t change everything for you. I can’t go back and stop it all from happening. But what I can do is try to make it acceptable. I see it in your eyes, Belle, you have a little piece of an outlaw in you. All that you want. All that you feel you can’t have. That’s bullshit, babe. You want something, take it. You’re too beautiful to just sit in the background, waiting.”

I felt the emotion rage through me. Slam was going to use me? Slam had been trying to set my father up? That’s what this was all about?

Before I knew what I was doing, my right hand went for a ride. I swung and smacked Slam in the face. The crack echoed, along with my whimper. I was pretty sure I hurt myself more than I hurt him.

I turned and cradled my hand.

Slam touched my shoulder and I wanted to shake him away, but I didn’t.