Ruthless Hold (Back Down Devil MC #9)(52)

“Sort of.”

“Okay. He was bouncing back and forth between The Lost Men and the charter up north. He and I… oh, Eden. He saw what Ripper did to me once. He got into a fight with Ripper and knocked him clean out. Griffin had to take off then. The club was going to kill him. Shit calmed and he and Ripper worked their shit out. He came back and I wanted to thank him for hitting Ripper.”

“Thank him?” Eden asked.

“I rode him until there was nothing left to come out,” Jenn said.

“Gross.”

“Sorry, Eden. You asked. It’s the truth. We fell instantly in love. He started to come around because of me. He was my saving grace. I knew it could never go anywhere. Well… Griffin had a plan. Ripper had been talking to some bad guys about stuff. Griffin sort of pushed the plan, hoping Ripper would get killed or thrown out of the club. Then I got pregnant.”

“So I screwed everything up?”

“No, sweetie,” Jenn said. “It’s not your fault. Nothing is your fault. Griffin and I knew the risk. Soon as I got pregnant, I knew what I had to do. I told Ripper and he wanted me to… you know.”

“No,” Eden said. “He really said that?”

“Yeah.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“Look at you,” Jenn said. “I had an image of you from the day I found out I was pregnant. And here you are. More beautiful than I imagined. Why would I keep that from the world?”

Eden felt her throat tighten. “Thank you.”

“So I had to make a deal with Ripper. He asked Griffin to watch over me. He wanted nothing to do with a fat chick. His words, not mine. So I had to let him f*ck anything he wanted, which wasn’t out of the ordinary. He trusted Griffin a lot. But it left me with the closest thing I ever had to a family. Griffin took care of me, took care of you. He arranged for everything. Then he made me a promise, Eden.”

Jenn put out her cigarette and stood up. Eden stared at her birth mother, realizing they shared some features. It was a hard thing to look at. To accept. Eden always wondered what her life would have been like if she hadn’t been given up for adoption.

“What was the promise?” Eden asked.

“Simple. He said that he would make sure you were protected. Nobody would ever know how and nobody would ever know the truth. But when he said that, I believed him. It comforted me, okay? He said he would take care of everything. Which he did.”

“So what happened when I was born?”

“Well, I had been knocked out. Not by Ripper, by the doctors.” Jenn smiled. “I woke up and you were gone. The first thing I did was touch my belly and it was gone. You were gone. That’s when it really all hit me. I started to cry. I looked to the door and had this vision. Me getting out of the bed and going to find you. Picking you up and hugging you tight. Then I run off. Just you and me.”

“That didn’t happen.”

“Of course not. I couldn’t move. But the door opened and Griffin came in. He was by my side the entire time I was in the hospital. He held me. He kissed me. He wept with me. He then showed me the information on the people who were adopting you. That gave me some relief. I knew you were safe and I knew you’d be happy.” Jenn reached out and took Eden’s hand. “I know everything that happened. Griffin kept in touch. I’m so sorry about your… your parents…”

“How?” Eden whispered. “Just…”

“After I left the hospital, Ripper had me in an apartment. He didn’t want me back until I looked pre-baby. He and Griffin had some kind of fight about guns. He accused Griffin of getting too close to me. Of course, I couldn’t have sex for a while after having a baby, right? But Ripper just wouldn’t have it. So Griffin took off again. That began a really long and lonely road for me. I only saw Griffin when it was necessary through the club. We never talked. I never knew much about you. He managed to pull me aside to tell me about what happened to your parents. He assured me you were in good hands again. He watched over you, Eden. But then a couple years ago he arranged for us to be alone. The years had beaten me as bad as Ripper. I drank, smoked, did things to my body that I should have never done. I hated myself, Eden. Maybe I still do. But knowing you’re here and you’re safe, I feel relieved in it all.”

Jenn squeezed Eden’s hand and tears filled her eyes again.

“I don’t know what to say right now,” Eden said.

“You don’t have to say anything. It was a couple years ago. Ripper was on a run. Griffin heard about it and snuck away. I made up some bullshit story that my sister was in the hospital with a gall bladder issue. We were in the woods, in a private cabin, just me and him. It was the first time we were really alone like that in… like forever…”

Eden watched the way Jenn’s eyes glazed over and she looked away. A genuine smile crept across her face. She really loved Griffin and Griffin really loved her. So at least that was something Eden could take with her - her birth parents really did love each other. It was just the outlaw life that kept them apart. The life that kept them apart was the life that kept Eden and Trev together.

“I mean, I don’t have to tell you what we did, right?” Jenn asked.

“Again, gross,” Eden said.

They both laughed.

A tear fell from Jenn’s eye. “He was the only one who could do it for me. Even after all those years, he touched me like it was the first time. He made me feel alive and wanted. But I knew we weren’t together then just to roll around in the sheets. Gosh, look at me. I sound like a whore. In front of my daughter.”