Rushed(112)

"I will," I said. My eyes were red, although with sadness or exhaustion, I wasn't sure. We'd made love one last time the night before, tears mixing with our other sounds as we were sure it would be our last time. I hadn't slept, afraid to miss any second or shared moment I had left with her. She’d been the same way, and this morning, both of us looked like hell. Breakfast was nothing more than a quick mug of what Daniel called 'ultra bulletproof coffee,' meant to combine caffeine with enough calories to keep us both going till lunch. I had no idea how many spoonfuls of coconut oil he had stirred in, but it was something I never wanted to drink again.

"Do you have your book?" I asked, trying to think of anything to say.

"Yes—thank you," she said, patting her backpack. I'd given her the book she'd picked out for me during my stay in the hospital, and on the inside, I'd written my email as well as my phone number. "I don't know how much I'm going to read on the flight, though. I'll probably be asleep before I even reach cruising altitude."

“I’m exhausted too,” I said, walking slowly. Ahead, we could see the start of the security checkpoints where we had to part ways. I looked up at the clock, hating that the damn thing seemed to be going so fast. "Shit."

She looked up at the clock, then at the line. "Yes. Shit."

She turned to me, blinking back tears. "Okay—well give me a hug, and I'll email you when I get home," she said, wiping at her cheeks with the heels of her hands. "There's no need to make a scene, right?"

"Right," I said, pulling her close. We hugged, and I gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Get some rest. I’ll email you later."

Luisa stepped back, both of us having tears trickling down our cheeks as she turned and headed toward the checkpoint. She got in line, right behind an old lady, and was quickly three deep in the line. Only her height and her beautiful blonde hair let me watch as she made her way toward the metal detector.

Suddenly, I couldn't take it anymore. "Luisa! LUISA!"

I crutch-walked as fast as I could toward the checkpoint, continuing to call her name. I saw a TSA agent look up and step toward me, but suddenly, there was a commotion up front, and Luisa bulled her way out of line, her eyes alight as she ran the short distance to me. I pulled her in close, kissing her hard, our lips joining as she threw her arms around my neck. "Tomasso . . .”

"Luisa," I whispered, our foreheads touching. "Before you leave, I have to say it. I can't let you go without saying it."

"I love you," she said before I could get it out, laughing and crying at the same time. "I love you, Tomasso Bertoli."

"I love you, Luisa," I whispered back, laughing too. "Why'd you get to say it first?"

"It's good manners," she laughed, smiling again. "Ladies first. Besides, you don't want me bitching at you about it, do you?"

"No," I said, kissing her again. "I promise, somehow, we'll be together again. I'm not letting you go that easily."

An announcement came over the intercom that pre-boarding was starting for Luisa's flight, and she looked up. "Okay. I'll hold you to that. Or else, I’ll come back to Seattle and kick your ass."

"Okay. Get going, I'll email you," I said, letting her go. I went as far forward as I could, watching as she went through security and toward the gates. I watched for another minute before making my way to the window. I didn't know for sure. Things weren't like before 9/11 when you knew for sure which plane your loved one was on, but I kept watch until after the departure time, waving at each Delta airliner that lifted off the runway. When I was sure she was in the air, I reached into my pocket and texted Daniel, who met me in the drop-off zone.

"You look about a thousand percent better than you did an hour ago," he said as I sat down. "You okay?"

“We said what needed to be said," I replied simply. "Sometimes, that's all you need."





Chapter 18





Luisa





Porto Alegre was my home. I never wanted to go to Seattle, but I followed my father’s wishes. Now, I felt sick to my stomach as I returned to my homeland. As my Avianca flight descended on final approach toward Salgado Filho Airport, I had to chuckle under my breath at the irony. Then, I'd have given anything to be back in Porto Alegre. Now, I felt the same way about Seattle.

I was met at the gate by my brother, Vincente, who was the middle of my three brothers. There was Mateus, the youngest of the whole family, who was the military nut, and then there was Eduardo, the oldest of us all, although only four months older than me. That was the way my father had relationships with women, and something that I never liked.

"Luisa. Back safely, I see," Vincente said nonchalantly. "Your ass didn't get too fat, at least."

"Fuck off, Vincente. I'm not in the mood for your shit," I retorted. There was a reason I was such a bitch to men when I met them at first. My brothers were all brought up to think that they were superior to any woman and that they could order us around at will. It had been twenty-two long, hard years of fighting that perception that had, in addition to my heartbreak, caused me to be that way. It was either be a bitch and hold my own, or get trampled on. Vincente was the worst, but Eduardo wasn’t much better. "Where's your truck?"