Rush: The Season (Austin Arrows Book 1)(31)

The f*ck?

Bianca’s last post was at four thirty yesterday, which would’ve been right before they left the rink. My name’s Bianca and I’m looking for my biological father, whom I’ve never met. My mom doesn’t know him other than his name is James and she met him when she was in Las Vegas when she was twenty-one.

I continue to read, my jaw damn near hitting the floor.

Holy.

Fucking.

Shit.

I exhale and lean forward, resting my elbows on my knees, staring at the picture of Ellie on the post. It had to have been taken fourteen years ago or so. Probably close to the time when Ellie went to Las Vegas to celebrate her twenty-first birthday—the year she insisted that she was grown up, capable of doing things her way. I remember because Spencer had insisted that he go with her, just to keep an eye on things, and she’d adamantly refused him. Her brother hadn’t been happy.

Of course, Spencer had damn near gone postal when she announced that she was pregnant. I specifically recall her brother threatening to castrate the son of a bitch who had taken advantage of his sister. It hadn’t been a completely irrational reaction, although it had pissed Ellie off. She’d handled it well, right up until Spencer practically demanded she get tested for sexually transmitted diseases. Ellie had informed him, not so sweetly, that she’d already done that and for him to stay out of her business.

It’d been a rough couple of weeks until Spencer finally calmed down. I had done my absolute best to stay out of it.

I glance at the message notification icon on the screen. It isn’t showing any unread messages, which is a good thing. I don’t want to completely invade Bianca’s privacy, but I would’ve been compelled to look.

I wonder if Ellie or Spencer know about this. Surely Spencer would’ve said something if Ellie was actively looking for Bianca’s father. Then again, it isn’t like Spencer has to tell me everything, but we are like brothers, so I can’t see him not saying something.

Fuck.

Should I ask Ellie?

What if she doesn’t know?

Should I tell her?

“Fuck.” I brush my hand down my face, over my beard, then reach for my water.

It really is none of my business. If Bianca is looking for her father, that’s a good thing, right? I know that Ellie has been open and honest about the pregnancy. She never tried to hide anything about the man. And yes, I know the guy’s name is James. As the story goes, Ellie met him in a casino, invited him to a club, and then later that night, they went back to her room and things happened. According to her, they used a condom but something obviously went wrong. Ellie has also admitted that she was the one to sneak out, leaving the guy asleep when she headed to the airport for home the next morning.

I take another drink as I continue to stare at the picture. I have no idea what I’m supposed to do. Is it my place to tell Ellie? Obviously Bianca wouldn’t want me seeing this, so I know she accidentally left it open. Should I pretend I don’t know?

And what if Bianca does find her father? What if he shows up in Ellie’s life unexpectedly? What if…?

I set my water down with a thud.

What if Ellie sees him again and falls in love with him?

Okay, now that is an incredibly selfish thought. It shouldn’t bother me whether or not Bianca’s father shows up out of the blue and Ellie falls head-over-heels in love with him and they have a perfect little family.

But it does.

Bother me.

A lot.

A hell of a lot more than it should.

Absently, I rub my chest, right over my heart, as another selfish thought takes root.

What if I never get a chance with Ellie because I’ve been too loyal to take a chance in the first place?

Then it dawns on me. I do have a chance. And it has been dropped at my feet.

Ellie is going to be my pretend girlfriend for the foreseeable future. Which means she will be in my life. She’ll get a chance to see the real me, not the one the rest of the world sees.

Shit.

Now I have to figure out a way not to f*ck this up, too.

With that thought, I grab my phone and shoot a text to Ellie.





Ellie

I arrive at the Penalty Box at exactly seven o’clock, just as I promised Noelle I would. It was a mad rush picking Bianca up from school, stopping by the rink to once again chat with Amber, dropping Bianca at home, making her dinner, and then damn near breaking every speed law to get back here, but I made it. A little sweaty, maybe, but testing one’s deodorant is never a bad thing. I only hope mine holds up.

“Hey, Ellie!”

Noelle’s younger sister, Julie, practically tackles me when I step into the restaurant, running right up to me and giving me a skinny-armed bear hug that makes me wonder how we don’t bounce apart when our boobs collide. Like beach balls. Or water balloons. It’s an odd visual, but one that makes me smile. With a chuckle, I hug the woman quickly.

“I’m so glad you’re here. It’s gonna be cool working here for a few months,” Julie rambles, her eyes lit with excitement.

I try to hide my confusion, but based on Julie’s frown, I fail.

“Noelle called. Asked me if I’d fill in for a while?”

I raise my eyebrows, hoping Julie will elaborate.

“I know how busy the season is. From what Noelle told me, you’ll be gone a lot.”