Run You Down (Rebekah Roberts #2)(68)

“Sam was crushed. He loved her. Him and Pessie were like … they just understood each other. Or at least, Sam thought Pessie understood him. He barely left the apartment for a week and then he went down to Roseville to try and apologize, but she wasn’t having it.”

“He went to her work,” I say quietly.

Ryan nods. “So, about a week later, me and Sam were at my apartment when my dad and Hank come barging in. I guess the door was unlocked. I was on the couch and Sam was, like, coming out from the bedroom, I think. My dad went over and just coldcocked him. He was, like, are you two faggots? Sam was on the floor. And I was just like, f*ck it. Yeah, we’re f*cking faggots.”

“How did he find out?” I ask.

“Apparently my dad has a monthly drop in Albany and the pickup guy used to bounce at a club we went to before Sam went away. Sam filled in doing the drop and the guy recognized him. The next week the bouncer gave the regular guy some shit. He was all, since when does the Brotherhood run with fags? I guess the regular guy told my dad.”

“Your dad had a right to be pissed, Ryan,” says Mellie. “He was employing your f*cking fag boy and you’re both totally laughing behind his back.”

“We weren’t laughing behind his back, Mellie. You’re insane. It doesn’t make it okay to f*cking kill an innocent girl!”

Mellie puts her hands up in a weak surrender.

“Pessie must have driven in a couple minutes after my dad and Hank. She probably wanted to make up with Sam. When she walked in with Chaim, Sam was on all fours on the floor, bleeding from his mouth, and my dad was kicking him in the stomach. Hank had my arms behind my back and was holding a f*cking knife to my throat. My brother. Your f*cking baby daddy. I was just trying to get through it, you know? But Pessie started screaming. Loud. My dad was like ‘Who’s this bitch?’ And Sam and I were like, ‘Leave her alone.’ My dad told her to shut up and she didn’t. She backed toward the door and he went to grab her hair. But, you know, she wore a wig. And it came off. He was like, what the f*ck? Then he started laughing. I swear to God. He got a handful of her real hair and dragged her over to Sam and he was like, ‘This is your fault, faggot. You did this.’ And then he … it happened so fast … he put one of his hands in her mouth and one on the back of her head and snapped her neck.”

His fists are clenched, and when he falls silent I realize that mine are, too. I exhale and it feels like fire coming from inside. She just wanted to make up with her friend. That was it. Sam wanted one kind of life and Pessie wanted another, but she refused to give up the boy she had always loved. Why should she have to? And it killed her. All her empathy, all their memories together, meaningless against the gale force of a bigot in a rage. I look over at Mellie and, for the first time since I arrived at the diner, she appears uneasy. She is bent forward, one hand on the edge of Eva’s car seat, rocking the little girl as she sucks on her bottle, the other hand holding her head up, hiding her face.

“She was a tiny thing,” whispers Ryan, his face now red. “She fell like … boom. I mean, there was no question. She was just … gone. Sam started screaming and the baby was screaming and my dad and Hank bailed. They were like, this is your problem.” Ryan looks down at his hands. “It was Sam’s idea to take her home. We wrapped her in a blanket and laid her down in the backseat of her car and put the baby in the front seat. He was still all strapped in. I drove my truck and Sam drove her car. Her husband wasn’t home and we used her keys to open the door. We brought her in and at first Sam said to put her on the bed. Like maybe she’d died in her sleep. But I’d just seen this show on TV—I think it was 48 Hours or something—about this woman whose body was found in a bathtub and they were trying to prove her husband killed her but they couldn’t because apparently it’s really hard to prove how somebody died when there’s water involved. So I said we should put her in the tub and turn on the water.

“I drove Sam back to New Paltz and then took the truck—which is my dad’s, technically—to the McDonald’s in Cairo and called a buddy from work to pick me up. I texted my dad that I didn’t want the truck anymore and that he should come get it.”

Ryan stops talking. I haven’t written down anything he said. For a moment, all three of us sit in silence.

“Why didn’t you go to the police?” I ask, finally.

“Because I’ve got a record. They’d think I did it. And I am not going down for them. But now…” He looks at Mellie. “You have to tell her.”

For a moment Mellie acts like she hasn’t heard him. She keeps her eyes on Eva. “Connie and Hank are planning something.”

“Something?” I say.

“Hank’s been all secretive lately. I thought he was f*cking around but…” She pauses. “Connie has cancer. Bad cancer. He told us last month and he said the doctors told him he has, like, a couple of months to live. He wouldn’t even know if he hadn’t gone to take Nan to the doctor. Usually I do it but Eva was having a meltdown and he offered. I guess he rolled her into the exam room and the doctor took one look at him and was like, what the f*ck? His skin was all yellow. I mean, I’d noticed he looked kind of sickly, but what do I know? Anyway. They did some tests and apparently it’s all up in him. Too late for chemo or whatever else. He’s saying he’ll be dead by the Fourth of July.”