Rules of Survival(41)

“That is the stupidest f*cking question anyone has ever asked me,” Shaun said, maneuvering himself to stand in front of me. “I wanna do it again. I really wanna do it again.”

I could be dead in eight hours, or behind bars in twelve. The only thing I had, without a shadow of a doubt, was right now. This moment. “Then do it,” I demanded. “Kiss me.”

A war raged behind his eyes. He made a move, then froze, fingers gripping the edge of the sink. “It’s not that simple, Kayla.”

I didn’t respond.

He slammed his hand against the sink, then took a deep breath. “You’re—we’re chained together.” One good shake of his fist and the shackle chains rattled and clinked. “You’re vulnerable and not thinking clearly. This isn’t what you want.”

A wave of boldness washed over me. I lifted my hand and traced the outline of the tattoo above his navel, then trailed a finger upward, across the center of his chest, and wrapped my hand around the back of his neck.

“It’s just a kiss,” I said, repeating his words from earlier. They’d bothered me then, but now seemed insignificant. Petty. Since getting shackled to Shaun, I’d been forced to take things minute by minute. Less planning and more reacting. I liked it. I liked living in the moment. Needed it. There was a chance this would be the only freedom I would ever experience. I wasn’t about to let it slip away without taking full advantage. “Unless, you know, you didn’t like it.”

His eyes widened. “Didn’t—are you nuts?”

“Then what’s stopping you? I’m giving you my permission. Kiss me,” I demanded. An electric sensation coursed through me. A feeling of control in an otherwise random world.

“I can’t. We—” He squeezed his eyes closed, then opened them, hands coming up to grip my shoulders. Eyes on mine, he stayed like that for the longest time, just looking. Breathing. I saw his resolve breaking apart. Watched the wall crumble, brick by brick, until there was nothing left between us but what we both obviously wanted. “Fuck it.”





Chapter Fourteen


This kiss wasn’t like the one on the road. It was hungrier. Needy. It ignited a fire in my belly that drifted lower, inciting a wave of euphoria like nothing else I’d ever experienced. I clung to him, desperate to hold on to it as long as possible, because this… This was living. This was the spark I’d been deprived of.

Shaun’s arms encircled my waist, hefting me onto the small bit of counter space, all without breaking contact. He took my bottom lip between his, tugging slightly, then ran his tongue along it. The feeling was so intense I gasped, surprised by it, arms tightening and fingers digging into the soft skin of his back.

He didn’t seem to mind. He chuckled, bringing his hands to either side of my face and deepening the kiss. “Like that, huh?”

In response, I wrapped my legs around his waist and arched my back. There was a low noise, from deep in his throat, and a second later, his hands came around to my back, sliding down and slipping beneath my bottom. The chain rattled. It pulled taut, my left arm dragged to the side, as he lifted me from the counter and maneuvered us from the small space.

“You need to say it,” he breathed into my mouth as he backed us toward the bed. “Tell me to stop, because this could get outta control fast.”

I didn’t want him to stop.

“Kayla,” he said, pulling away to nuzzle the hollow of my throat. A second later, his teeth grazed the skin. He inched forward and set me down, and I felt the edge of the bed behind my legs. “Speak up. Please,” he begged.

“I like the way your hands feel on me, “I whispered.

Brutal honesty. Raw and stark. Being around Shaun made my brain malfunction. My secrets were slipping out, and my feelings bled through. It was anarchy and peace all in the same chaotic package, and at that moment, I would have given anything to make it last forever.

“I’ve never felt so alive.” I shifted to kneel on the thin mattress. “I’m not ready to go back to feeling hollow. Not yet…”

He growled, and I thrilled at the struggle I saw in his eyes. There it was again. Control. Power. It was like a drug and I was a newly minted addict. When he still didn’t move, I jerked my left arm back toward the bed, and his right hand followed by default, causing him to tumble forward. Hooking an arm around his neck, I pulled him close and kissed him aggressively. That did the trick.

He climbed onto the bed, onto his knees, lips sliding down my neck and along my collarbone, then back up. “You have no idea what kind of things are going through my head right now,” he whispered at my ear. “Things I wanna do… Things I’ve wanted to do from the first second I saw you.”

“Tell me,” I groaned, letting my head fall back. Goose bumps broke out along my skin, brought to life simply by the sound of his voice. “Tell me what you want to do.”

It happened fast. He shifted to the side, hooking his leg around the back of mine, and swept me flat on my back. Hovering above me, he grabbed the section of the chain closest to my wrist and pinned it to the bed.

He straddled me, pointer finger lingering at the hollow of my throat. “My tongue would explore every inch of you,” he said. “Starting here…” He trailed a finger down, between my breasts, then over the left one, circling the nipple. I bit back a gasp, shivering beneath his touch. From there, he skimmed across to the other and repeated the motion before continuing south, past the waistband of my pants.