Ruined (The Eternal Balance #1)(84)
Probably because of the deal I’d made.
I couldn’t see it from here, but when we’d sealed the deal, a small black mark appeared on the inside of my wrist. It sort of resembled a star, only with an extra point. There was no way for Jax to win this thing. Not on his own. This was the only way I could help.
With my life attached to Chase, Jax would be crippled by his feelings. The only way to give him an advantage was to remove myself from the situation. So I had.
Jax was savage. With me gone, he attacked Chase with a ferocity that was both beautiful and frightening. But he and Chase were evenly matched. They traded blows, Jax bearing down and kicking hard as Chase crumbled to the ground, then in an instant, Chase recovering and delivering a blow that brought Jax down.
“I’m glad you decided to fight,” Chase said as they got to their feet. “With all the past between them, Zenak didn’t want an empty victory.”
Jax’s expression stayed stony. He dodged to the left, avoiding Chase’s next blow, and followed with one of his own. It landed in the center of his brother’s chest, sending him sprawling back into the trees behind them. “There’s no victory here. No matter what the outcome is, we all f*cking lose.”
As the men fought, Heckle came up beside me. “The deal we made is keeping your soul here, but it can’t stay in the void for long. Are you sure you want to continue?”
“I sure as hell don’t want to stay dead…”
After Heckle confessed to being something more than a normal demon—a keeper of balance—I’d laid out my plan. Stop my heart long enough for Jax to take Chase down. He said it would be easy—with the proper payment—to bring me back, but warned that the aftereffects would be unpredictable. And that was besides the whole hell on earth thing. If Jax did kill Chase—which I assured him wouldn’t happen—we were in a whole world of f*cked.
Heckle didn’t share my faith in Jax. He felt that, after seeing me fall, he’d be enraged enough to take his brother’s life, spilling royal blood and restoring Azirak’s clan to its full glory. If I was wrong and Jax did in fact kill Chase, balance would need to be restored—starting with the nullification of our deal. I’d stay dead.
I’d made my choice knowing all that. I accepted it. If there was ever anyone I’d bet my life on, it would be Jax Flynn.
Chase launched himself forward and hurled his brother in the direction of the rock, but Jax threw his weight to the side, reversing their direction and strengthening the momentum. It was Chase who crashed against the boulder, not Jax.
“Do you regret it? Any of it?” Jax growled.
Chase struggled, but not as hard as he could have. “I regret all of it. And at the same time, none of it.” His head fell back against the stone as his body went limp in Jax’s grasp. “You were right. She was right. You were the strong one. I gave in far too easily and you were able—willing—to fight. My demon is strong, but you…the human is strong. When you found out Rick knew all along, didn’t you wonder?”
It was dark now, and in the distance, a coyote howled, followed by the hoot of an owl.
Chase stopped struggling, but Jax was no fool. He didn’t let up. “Wonder what?”
“Why he sent you away instead of me?”
“Yeah.” I couldn’t see his face, but his voice sounded sad. “It crossed my mind.”
“I think it’s because he knew I’d never be able to handle it. He sent you away because you were stronger. He had more faith in you, man.”
“There’s still time.” Jax finally loosened his hold and pulled away a few inches. I felt a bubble of justification, and turned and stuck my tongue out at Heckle. I knew it! “Neither one of us has to die.”
“You’re wrong, Jax. I’ve got the wheel, but it won’t last much longer. You need to take me out, because I swear to you, if you don’t, I will kill you. It might not be today, or even tomorrow, but it’ll happen. Zenak won’t rest until its clan is restored, and I won’t lie. I hate you. I love you, brother, but I hate you, too.”
Jax hovered over his brother and I held my breath.
After what seemed like a lifetime, he stepped away and let Chase get up. “Go as far from here as you can get. Don’t come back. Don’t even think about this place.”
Chase hesitated, sliding off the rock’s surface and taking several steps away from his brother. He had to be thinking the whole thing was a trick. A ploy to catch him off guard and close in for the kill. “That’s it? You’re going to let me walk away?”
“You’re my brother,” Jax said. “Despite everything, I love you—but, like you said, I hate you, too. A kind of hate I’m sure you can sympathize with. I could easily kill you. I want to. More than you can possibly understand, I want to. After what you did to all those girls. And Sam… Don’t mistake this for mercy, because that’s not what it’s about.”
“What is it about, then?”
“Azirak, unlike Zenak, learned from its mistakes. It understands that if the clans are restored, there would be nothing left of this place. Everything, everywhere, would be laid to waste. Spilling royal blood would mean the end of earth as we know it, and Azirak likes it here. I like it here. This is my only choice.”
“This is a mistake,” Chase warned, and began backing away. His eyes fell to my still form lying in the dirt, and he shook his head. I couldn’t see clearly through the trees, but I thought there were tears in his eyes. “A huge mistake. Zenak’s not going to give up.”