Ruined (The Eternal Balance #1)(32)

She nodded. “Yes.” Then a second later, shook her head. “No—I think so? I’m not sure what I’m saying because what I’m saying is insane. But I remember his eyes. They were the same bottomless void.”

It all made sense. For her to have believed what I told her about a demon, there had to be a reason. “Sammy—”

“I was knocked over the edge. You jumped and grabbed me and broke my fall. A fall that should have killed us both. And the car. At the bottom of the river. I would have drowned. And your eyes…” There was so much pain in her expression. A flicker of betrayal and a ton of hurt mixed with a hint of fear. “You’re like the others? A demon?”

Something inside me shattered. She was looking at me like I was responsible for the most horrific moments of her life. It was worse than any hunger pang the demon could inflict. “I am a demon,” I said softly. “But like I said, it’s not the same. I’m more…complicated.”

“Tell me,” she said. The gray smoke around her head lightened, but didn’t dissipate. “Explain to me how you’re different from that black-eyed thing that just tried to kill me. Please,” she begged. “Tell me how you’re different from the monster that killed my parents.”

The desperation in her voice swept me away and the words came before I could give them any thought. “I could break you. Snap your bones like they were nothing more than twigs. Hell, part of me wants to because it’s what the thing inside me feeds on. Fear. Anger. Rage. Violence… Those are the only things that keep it calm. Under control.” I stepped close to her, and when she didn’t pull away, bent low and cupped the side of her face, letting my thumb trail lightly along her bottom lip. “But I won’t. That’s the difference between that thing and me, Sammy. I won’t hurt you. I would never hurt you.”

Except I had. Hurt her. I’d hurt her in ways I could never take back. The gray around her darkened until it was solid black. Confusion. She let her head fall forward into her hands. “I need to think.”

“What you need is to pay attention. These things slaughter people for food and fun. They’re ruthless and without conscience and there is nowhere on this earth you can go to run from them if they want you dead.” Although the revelation about how her parents really died was raw and I hated glossing over it, there was no time to break down now. This was bigger than just a single demon.

She didn’t move. Didn’t pick her head up or budge from the floor. It almost looked like she’d stopped breathing. A moment later, she lifted her gaze to meet mine. “Fine. Show me.”

“Show you?”

Sam uncurled and stood, squaring her shoulders and taking a step toward me. “Your demonic powers. Show me what you can do.”

“You want me to— How am I supposed to do that?”

More of the gray faded. “Should be easy. Smite something. Pull a rabbit out of a hat.”

“Smite something? I’m not God, Sammy.”

She waved offhandedly and stood, coming several steps closer. “Whatever. I’m sure there’s something impressive in your demon arsenal.”

“It doesn’t work that way. This thing inside me? It’s dangerous. I can’t drag it out to do magic tricks.”

She eyed me. “You just told me you weren’t dangerous. Make up your mind.”

Shit. Everything with her was so much f*cking harder. Twisted in a way I couldn’t possibly unravel. “I’m not dangerous. Not to you.”

“But you are dangerous? To other people?”

I wasn’t sure how to answer. Now that she might be on the verge of turning away for good, the truth burned a hole in my gut. But other than the demonic secret I’d kept, I’d never lied to Sam. “Yes,” I said. “Sometimes I’m dangerous to other people.”

She pushed past me and bolted out the door. I didn’t stop her. She needed to be alone to process all this shit? Fine. I’d give her the illusion of being alone. Grabbing my coat, I slipped from the room, locking the door behind me.





Chapter Fourteen




Sam

By now, someone had to have seen the broken window and called the landlord. The only reason the old man agreed to rent to me was because I swore I’d be no trouble. Forget wild parties. Having a guy show up and attack me, then bust up the place, defined trouble.

So instead of going home, I took a cab to Kelly’s. My aunt had left this morning for some weeklong bingo retreat, so I had the house to myself. I kicked off my shoes, curled into a ball on the couch, and closed my eyes.

Bad idea.

My father’s death had been quick. A broken neck. But my mother’s death… The man—the demon—had played with her. The sick sounds of pleasure, laughing in amusement as my mother begged for mercy, were impossible to tune out. I’d heard everything. Seen everything. It was all coming back.

My strange attacker. My parents’ killer. Jax…

And what about Jax?

Demons were all bad guys, right? That’s what folklore and religion said. They went around causing chaos. Eating babies, stealing virgins, murdering parents. The look in Jax’s eyes when he faced that other demon had been deadly. Rage so primal that it gave me chills. But he wasn’t evil. He couldn’t be. All he’d ever done was take care of me. When I was at my worst, he pulled me from the darkness. Time and time again, Jax had been there.