Ruined (The Eternal Balance #1)(23)
I was having a really shitty week.
A horn honked, pulling me from the crazy sludge that was my thoughts. I’d hit a pay phone and called Chase to pick me up two blocks from the club. I’d been careful, passing by the lot to check on Jax’s car. It was still there, parked a few spots down from the rental, so wherever he’d run off to, it’d been on foot.
“Um,” Chase’s eyes skimmed my body from top to bottom as I pulled open the car door. “Do I want to ask why you look like a sexy drowned rat?”
I wrung out the edge of my skirt before sliding into the passenger’s seat. We hadn’t been alone since he’d kissed me at McCarthy’s and I was feeling a little awkward despite the fact that I knew the whole thing had been staged, but I couldn’t help feeling a bit used.
“I lost my damn keys at the club.” I shrugged and gestured to my wet clothes. “And this… Would you believe a sudden downpour?”
He shook his head and pulled away from the curb once the door was closed. Four blocks later, he spoke again. “I thought tonight was your night off? And why are you dressed like that—not that I’m complaining.”
“Theme night,” I said with a weary sigh, and fastened the seat belt. People thought I drove fast, but anyone who’d ever been in a car with Chase would surely dub me the queen of safety. Heedless of speed limits and stop signs, he had more traffic infractions than I could count. It blew my mind that he still had a license.
“Well, I like theme night.” He waggled his brows and pulled the car into a spot at the front of my building. When I didn’t respond, he frowned and shifted around to face me. “You okay, Samantha?”
My hand hovered over the door handle. The words formed, and slipped to the tip of my tongue, but I couldn’t force them past my lips.
If I confessed what happened at the cliff, Chase would tell me I imagined the whole incident and was suffering from some weird kind of post-traumatic stress thing. No. This was something best kept to myself for now. “Yeah,” I said, forcing a smile. “Been a long day, that’s all.”
I made a move to open the door, but he grabbed my hand. “I’m really worried about you.” The look in his eyes made my breath catch. A fierce seriousness that almost bordered on possessive. But it was there and gone too fast to be sure. “If you get yourself killed, how will I see if we’re compatible?”
Thankfully, serious never lasted long with Chase.
He leaned forward like he was going to kiss me. I threw up my hands. “No way. Don’t go there.” I pulled away and swung my foot from the car.
Chase fell back against the seat, frowning. “Stop.” He sighed. “Please.”
I don’t know why, but I did. Maybe it was his tone. Three parts apologetic and one part commanding.
“You’re seriously bludgeoning my ego here.” His lips slipped into a grin. “Usually I’m fairly irresistible. I’m even thinking about having my tongue insured.”
I didn’t know whether to be upset or angry. “Where is this coming from? That kiss at the diner was a joke. For Jax’s benefit. Right…?”
“It’s my brother, isn’t it?” Something dark settled on his face and he narrowed his eyes. One of the biggest differences between the Flynn boys was temperament. Jax was always dark and sarcastic. Chase, on the other hand, bounced back and forth on the tip of a pin. One second he was laughing, the next he was spitting poison. I was used to it, but it still unnerved me sometimes.
I wanted to deny it, but the words stuck in my throat. Why did he even need to ask? He watched us growing up. A thing like that didn’t just go away. It was sad, and probably a little pathetic, but if even if Jax never came around, he’d always be the one.
Chase sighed and pounded a fist against the dash as some of the tension left his body. “I’m not into you. Not really.” He threw up his hands. “Not that you’re not amazing or anything. I just—I know you and Jax have some pretty intense, screwed-up history. I thought maybe…” He twisted back so he was staring out the window. His right hand tapped the wheel to an uneven rhythm as he let his head tilt back against the seat. “I hate myself—like, really hate myself—for saying this, but he’s got…problems. I’ve seen firsthand what he’s capable of when he’s angry. It’s not pretty.”
A small part of me wondered if any part of what he was saying came from real concern or was strictly out of jealousy. Because that’s what this was. Jealousy. He wanted me because his brother was back in town. That was it. When Jax was gone again, things would go back to normal. He’d done it when we were young, too. Vied for my attention, then as soon as he got it and Jax wasn’t looking, he was off and running after some new, shiny thing.
I couldn’t help the defensive chill that crept into my voice. “You forget that we grew up together. I know all about his issues.”
“No. I really don’t think you do.” When he turned I could see it. Plain as pie, in his eyes. Sadness and something else. A secret. There was definitely something he wasn’t saying, and a part of him seemed…happy about it? No. That couldn’t be right. Chase could be a bastard, but he wasn’t outwardly cruel.
“Maybe not, but maybe I don’t need to.” I thought of all the rumors flying around town. Rumors I knew for a fact were 100 percent bullshit. Everything from blaming him for the fire that burned down the Harlow mall several years ago—when he wasn’t even here—to insane whispers that he was the Gentleman Stalker. “I know you love your brother, Chase, but sometimes I think you’re just as blind as the rest of the town.”