Rugged(23)

“Get ready to be even more alarmed. What if this is the show?” I stretch my arms out wide, waving them over the plot of land. “I mean, not me standing in the middle of nothing. Building the house.”

“The plans,” he says, almost like he’s not sure he agrees with me. “I don’t know. It’s…” He stops.

“It’s what? Exhilarating? Terrible? You love it? You hate it?” Chance trots over to my side, and I stroke his head. “It’s got everything we need. Picture this.” I hold out my hands, fingers splayed, the way I do when I’m pitching the hell out of something. “Meet Flint McKay, patriarch of a family and head of a company. Times have been tough. The housing market has been through some giant upheavals the last few years, and the business is on the skids. There’s uncertainty all around, and everyone’s telling him to fold his hand. Sell the business. Disappoint his family, his legacy. Only Flint McKay, he’s not the quitting type. And then,” I say, walking around Flint while he’s frozen in thought, “then McKay decides he’s going to go all in. Build the house of his dreams, on a plot of land that captures the spirit of the Berkshires. The spirit of Massachusetts!” Man, even I’m getting excited about this now. Always a good sign I’m onto something.

“Over thirteen episodes, Flint McKay shows America how to build a house, yes. But not just any house. The house he’s always wanted, always envisioned. Now Flint McKay’s not just showing us how to dig a foundation or build a frame: he’s showing us how to muscle through the tough times, how to realize our own American dreams.” I finish with a flourish, my fingers wiggling. Flint doesn’t say anything for a good long minute.

“I don’t know,” he finally manages.

“Think about it,” I continue, almost pleading. “There’s the do it yourself aspect of watching a guy build a freaking house. We’ve got the culture of the Berkshires; we can get the people from the store in here. We can see some of the ins and outs of small town living. People love beautiful houses and gorgeous vistas; we can give them both. Instead of sitting inside at your workshop or the store, we’re learning all the how-tos in the fabulous outdoors. It’s spectacle porn.” I don’t mention that he’s part of the spectacle. Even I’m not that creepy.

And damn, I like the building the American dream angle. I like it a lot.

“Well,” he says, shoving his hands in his pockets. He’s furrowing his brow like he’s going through a really complicated math problem in his head. “You think this would be the part to seal the deal?” He looks at me.

“Are you kidding?” My brain is screaming with ideas. “And it won’t just help the show. After the season airs, this house is going to be snapped up in a second. Some rich jerk from the city will pay three times what it’s worth, just to be fashionable.”

“I’ve had enough of rich jerks, and more than enough of the city,” he says. His tone is harsh. He stalks back to the truck, and gets in. I climb up beside him, watching him cautiously. Flint grips the top of the steering wheel, his fingers practically digging into the leather. His eyes close.

“You want to talk about what the problem is?” I ask. “Because I’m sensing a problem here, and I don’t know what it is.” He clenches his jaw, then relaxes.

“I guess the design of the house is personal. You know, it’d be like having sex on TV,” he says. He raises his eyebrows. “Which might actually be interesting.”

“Behave, honorary manwhore,” I say, but inside I’m panicking. I don’t want this to be the straw that breaks the misanthropic camel’s back. “Look. The sizzle reel we’ve shot so far is all right. If we show what we have, with the concept of an ordinary renovation show, we have a shot. Not a great shot, but a shot. But if I throw in the detailed, house-from-scratch project with the majestic view? If we tie it in to a post-recession struggle, a man living his dream for his family? I think it’s an almost guaranteed win. There is no way McKay’s Hardware goes under with this. What do you say?” I watch as Flint shifts in his seat.

“You really think it’ll work?”

I lean forward and put my hand on his shoulder, squeezing the firm muscle there with the strength of my conviction. “More than that. I think it’ll be a great piece of television. People will watch something being created. They’ll watch the triumph of one man’s vision. It’s entertaining, sure, but it also caters to the best in humanity, not the worst.”

He turns to look at me and our eyes lock, and in that moment I feel like we’re totally in sync, like my passion has transferred to him and our dreams are aligned and there’s nothing left to do but passionately make out in the cab of his truck right now. His mouth opens and I tilt my head, parting my lips in anticipation.

And then he says, “All right. You have yourself a house.”

Wait, what? I snap back to attention and try to recover in a hurry. “That’s great,” I blurt. “Let’s build a house!”

Flint grins. “Let’s do this.”

I grin back and resist the urge to hug him. Hug him, and then maybe linger a little too long, while his hands trail down my back…

Stop it. Not what we need right now.

“Have I mentioned that you’re not going to regret this?” I tell him.