Royal Prick (A Stepbrother Romance #2)(67)

“Why did you leave, and don’t tell me it had to do with my mom, because I know that part already. I want the real answer. The whole answer… Not some excuse.” I wasn’t leaving here until I got it.

He met my stare head on, a slew of emotions forming in his eyes.

“I wanted to be the best person I could be for you. Your mother was driving me insane, and I was certain if I was around her any longer I would snap and do something I would regret. I also hoped that if I left, she would get off your back and give you some room to breathe. I wanted to be there when you got out of the hospital but I couldn’t be. I needed all the distance I could get.” I bit at my bottom lip, trying to hide the tears that wanted to fall from my eyes. Distance? Distance was staying in the room down the hall from me, not flying clear across the United States.

“Is there someone else? I mean I’ll understand. I’m not clingy, and I swear I’ll leave. I just needed to know.” I hated how my voice sounded. It was weak. I was weak and stupid for even coming all the way out here. I don’t know what I was thinking just showing up. He obviously didn’t want to be near me. Maybe I was just compelled to believe that he could love me like no one else ever had.

“Fuck no! What the hell?” Royal roared, pouncing on me. His hand gripped my cheeks roughly as he pulled my face up into his, a murderous rage lingering.

“It’s only ever been you. I didn’t leave so that I could f*ck someone else. I left because I needed to. I had so much hate for your mother that I was scared that I would do something that would end up separating us for the rest of our lives. Why is it still so hard for you to believe that you’re the only one that truly matters to me?”

His honesty caused me to tremble and my knees to go weak. I leaned into his touch. I’ve craved it so much, even if we were only separated for a matter of days. It felt like I needed him just to breathe.

“I thought it was me. Even after I read your note, and then when I found out you blocked my numbers I…” I couldn’t finish my sentence. There was a knot in my throat that refused to move. I couldn’t speak about it, because it made me feel too many things. Most of all vulnerable and na?ve.

“I wasn’t trying to hurt you, Noelle. Not at all, and I’m sorry that it did. I just knew if you called me and I heard that sweet voice of yours that I would be right back on a plane coming back to your ass. I couldn’t do that. I had to force myself to not text you or check up on you. Mark told me you were okay, and that’s all that I could manage.” Royal sounded so conflicted, and I could see the pain it caused him. The bags under his eyes told me he had lost just as much sleep in the last week as I had.

“I would’ve understood. You could’ve waited.” A tear slipped from my eye, and before I could wipe it away, Royal reached out squishing it with his thumb.

“Never think that I left to get away from you. If I could’ve brought you with me, I would have. Goddamn, Noelle, it ripped me the f*ck up inside to leave you in that hospital bed while I went back to that house and packed my bags, but I had to do what was right for both of us.” He cradled me in his hands, like a fragile child trying to make me understand why he made the decision to leave.

“I’m sorry.” I sniffled, trying to hold my emotions in. I wanted him to unravel me. To run his fingers through my hair and stake claim to my mouth, but I had no way of telling him what it was that I needed.

“Don’t be sorry. It’s me that should be sorry. I had no idea that it would hurt this badly. It felt like a knife was being stabbed through my chest every day and night. All I could do was think about you and wonder what it was that you were doing, or if you missed me as much as I missed you.” I laid my head on his chest, wrapping my arms around him. The thump of his heartbeat sounded in my ear. It was astounding how the sound of another human’s heartbeat could calm a person so much.

“Missed you? I was dying. I was so alone, trapped in that house. You were the only thing that made being there bearable,” I confessed, my words muffled against his shirt. He held me to his chest as if he needed my touch as much as I needed his.

“Don’t say that.” Hurt laced his words, and I pulled away from him noticing that he was looking away from me.

“It broke my heart to know that you ran away and didn’t take me with. I would’ve followed you anywhere. Which is why I’m here now. I had to know that it wasn’t me that did this. If I walked in this house and you told me to leave I would have, but you didn’t. I knew then that you didn’t leave because of me.” I squeezed him tightly against my chest.

As I pulled away from him, I noticed a solemn look showing in his eyes, his tongue darting out wetting his lips, and I wanted to unleash my soul upon him.

“God. You are so f*cking beautiful, Noelle.” He pressed his lips to my forehead and then down to my cheek and over my neck and throat. Little puffs of breath left my mouth, and I melted into a puddle as he skimmed his nose over the sensitive flesh of my throat.

“I missed you so much. The feel of your arms around me. The touch of your lips.” I moaned. His fingers dug into my skin as I released my hold on him, giving him more access to my throat, to my body.

“You have no f*cking idea what you do to me, do you?” His teeth sunk into my flesh and a cry of pleasure radiated loudly out of me. I wanted him so badly that it physically hurt to be away from him.