Royal Prick (A Stepbrother Romance #2)(13)
“What Jordan?” I raised an eyebrow in questioning, not sure I wanted to hear what she had to say on the matter.
“Nothing that happens today, tomorrow, or a week from now in this place will matter in the long run. None of the people that are here right now will be a part of your life after high school... well, except me,” she added with a wink then continued on.
“Therefore, none of these people really matter, and nothing that takes place here will matter either. For instance, what you’re wearing today or how you act and talk tomorrow. None of that shit matters. Nothing from the past will be of any value; it will be nothing but a brief memory in time.” Jordan gave me this whole speech more than once. Just because you had money and the look, didn’t necessarily mean you fit in with the right crowd.
“I totally get that. I just hoped for more from him. Not to instantly fall into the wrong crowd, and slide straight into Sasha’s vagina all within one day.” I couldn’t even talk about this right now. No matter how much I tried to look anywhere else but at him, my eyes always betrayed me, slowly finding their way back to him in the mass of students.
The one single time that I didn’t try and hide my feelings, or force my stare away was of course the one time I caught him staring back at me. A moment seemed to pass between us. Unsaid words lingered, and in his eyes I could see the same anger that stirred inside of me, boiling deep inside of him.
“You thought he would be different, and he isn’t. Plus, it doesn’t help that your heart is made of gold, and we both know you don’t deserve to have to watch someone crash and burn,” Jordan finished my sentence for me. I did have a heart of gold, and I desperately wanted to see the good in Royal. I wanted it so badly that I could taste it.
I knew there was more to him than a criminal record and a bad attitude. You just had to be able to stick around long enough to get underneath all of that. He was like an onion; he had the power to make you cry as you peeled back each layer exposing something you never knew about him.
“No.” It hit me then that if I wanted to truly see the person Royal was, to really see him in his most vulnerable place, to get there I would have to stick through the hate and pain. I would have to endure his remarks, his obscene sexual gestures, and his hateful looks. I would have to break down his walls until I made certain he understood that I wasn’t just going to give up and disappear. That I wasn’t going to walk away from him. I wasn’t a quitter, and I wasn’t about to give up on him. I wasn’t his Dad or any other sorry soul on this planet.
“Oh no. I know that look; what have you thought of now?” Jordan spat the words out, along with a piece of cupcake that she started chewing on while she waited for me to get out of my own head. I looked down at it and then back up to her, pursing my lips.
She shrugged her shoulders. “Sorry, now answer me. The bell is about to ring and then I’ll have to sit in class for the rest of the day trying to figure out what you’re thinking inside that crazy head of yours.”
“I know how to get underneath his skin and break through the barriers that surround him,” I rushed out, knowing she probably wants to stop me before I even get started. I held up a finger and pleaded with my eyes for her to listen.
”He’s so used to people walking away, so used to them assuming the worst of him or not even giving him a chance to prove himself.” I paused watching as everything was clicking in Jordan’s mind.
“I’m going to be that one person in his life he can’t shake. I’m going to do whatever I can to see the good in him and make him realize that I won’t abandon him like everyone else. It’ll be hard as hell, but I’ll have to let the hurtful things he says and does go. I’ll have to remember it’s a defense mechanism and that’s it.”
I casted a glare across the cafeteria and straight at Royal, studying him like he was my newest project, like I could fix him. He was still sitting with the *s of my class. I could see him looking at me and watching me as I watched him. There was something very personal about it; sitting in a packed cafeteria with hundreds of kids but both just watching each other as if no one else was here with us. As if there weren’t table upon table separating us. Royal was dangerous… to my heart, my soul, and possibly my life.
Everything was great until Sasha realized Royal’s attention was no longer on her. You could see her trying to figure out where his eyes were looking. She must have figured it out because in a matter of seconds she was sending icy daggers at me from across the lunchroom. I stared at both of them as if they were a car accident waiting to happen. Sasha knew exactly what she was trying to execute. Leaning over and into the crook of his neck she whispered something, her eyes gleaming with hate toward me. Then she lifted herself up so she was even with Royal’s face and pressed her lips against his, wrapping her hand around his head and pulling him in even closer.
My stomach twisted in a knot. I felt like I was violating some type of code of conduct. Like Sasha owned him and I was looking in from the outside.
“Talk about PDA. Jesus, they need to get a room.” Jordan sounded like she was going to puke, and the sound alone cheered me up, a bubble of happiness building deep inside of me. At the very least, I wasn’t the only one who found their newly found love absolutely disgusting. I couldn’t force myself to eat any of the fries or hot dog that I had gotten for lunch, so I got up from the table telling Jordan my goodbyes and tossing my food into the nearest trashcan. I forced myself not to look over my shoulder at Royal just one last time, but instead headed straight toward the girls’ locker room, to get ready for my least favorite activity of the day: gym class.