Rough Rider (Hot Cowboy Nights, #2)(41)

She still loved bull riding and missed the sounds, the excitement, the feeling of connectedness with the riders. Hell, she even missed the smells. It still felt strange to be an outsider looking in—not that she could have done it anymore anyhow.

Her pregnancy had come as a shock. She and Grady hadn’t even talked about kids and then suddenly they had one on the way. She’d had a real hard time of it too, almost miscarried twice. In the end, she’d had to leave the bull-riding tour and go back home to Montana. The last six weeks she’d spent almost entirely in bed.

Between her difficult pregnancy and her father’s fight with cancer, they’d had to sell off almost everything—the horses, the cows, and even most of the ranch. Grady was constantly on the road, Janice couldn’t help, and Mama couldn’t run it by herself. They’d held on to Mag the longest, but even he had eventually gone to the highest bidder. Grady had counted on the ranch as his retirement legacy, but it was all gone and he resented the hell out of her for it. Grady was traveling almost all the time, which made it easier, but even when he was home, he paid little attention to either of them.

It wasn’t the life she’d dreamed of, but she still had hopes to make it work. At least now Grady was winning more often than not. If he took the championship tonight, they’d have money enough to buy a place of their own, instead of living like gypsies in cheap motels.

“Janice? Is that you?” A light touch on her shoulder and an achingly familiar baritone voice broke into her thoughts. She spun around, feeling as if the breath had been crushed out of her chest at the sight of his face. For four years she’d tried to put Dirk Knowlton out of her mind, but try as she might, she could never forget him. His eyes were still the same startling icy blue, but they were also somehow different. Older. And shadowed. More sober. He’d matured.

“Dirk? Oh my God! I can’t believe it’s you! Wh-what are you doing here?”

“Just got back from the sand pits and I’m on leave. I was watching ESPN last week and saw Grady’s qualifying ride so I decided to come out.”

“But I thought you and Grady…”

“What’s done is done.” He shrugged. “It’s been four years. Life’s too short. Grudges and regrets both just get heavier the longer you carry them. So it’s past time to get over it, right?”

He spoke rhetorically, but his gaze seemed too probing, as if it really was a question he expected her to answer. Get over it or him? She’d done neither. But he was right. What was done couldn’t be undone.

“Mama! Who’s that?”

Dirk’s gaze darted to Cody and then back to Janice. “You have a kid?”

“Yes, Dirk. This is Cody.” She turned to her son. “Cody, this is Mr. Dirk. He used to rodeo with your daddy.”

“You don’t do it anymore?” Cody asked.

“Nope.” Dirk shook his head. “I quit four years ago. I’m a marine now.”

Cody’s face wrinkled. “What’s a mawine?”

“It’s kind of like a soldier and a sailor combined,” Janice explained.

“Oh.”

The announcer’s voice interrupted the exchange, introducing the barrel man. Cody’s attention riveted back to the arena. “Look, Mama! It’s a clown.”

Dirk tipped his hat. “I’ll catch up with you afterwards? Maybe we can all have dinner?”

“Yes, Dirk,” Janice replied. “I…we’d like that. Grady’ll be really surprised.”

*

Dirk went to find his seat, shaking his head in disbelief. She had a kid.

He’d known Janice and Grady had married right after he joined up. His mother’s letters had kept him informed about all the local gossip, but she’d never mentioned they’d had a son. The knowledge had lambasted him. He didn’t know why. Maybe a piece of him hadn’t wanted to let go of the past…let go of her. There was so much he’d wanted to say if he ever saw her again, but none of it mattered anymore. All that counted was that she was happy.

Dirk watched a dozen rides with a sense of total detachment until Grady’s name came up. He’d drawn a bull named Gangbanger. The announcer called out the animal’s stats—thirty outs no rides. Grady’s kinda bull. He might be one of the top contenders tonight, but with this bull, there was no margin for error.

Dirk’s muscles tensed involuntarily as he watched the action behind the chutes. He could almost feel the adrenaline rush that he’d thought long forgotten, or at least replaced with the state of total hyperawareness that preceded combat. He found himself on the edge of his seat by the time Grady gave the nod. A millisecond later, Gangbanger spun out of the gate like an F4 tornado. Grady was in near-perfect form the entire eight-second ride and his expression at the whistle said it all—it was the smug-as-hell smile of the new world champion.

After the last ride, Dirk made his way through the crowd to the bull pens. He found Grady already in full celebration mode. But rather than rejoicing in his victory with his wife and son, he was swigging from a foaming bottle of champagne while the buckle bunnies swarmed. Dirk searched the crowd for Janice and found her standing quietly in the background, holding Cody’s hand, looking on with her lips pressed into a fake smile.

His gut churned at the realization that Grady never even looked in Janice’s direction. He’d thought she was content until that moment, or maybe that’s what his conscience had wanted to believe, but her eyes told a completely different story. He pressed his way through the revelers to her side.