Rough Rider (Hot Cowboy Nights, #2)(30)

Janice had bolted almost the moment Rachel appeared. He’d just sat there watching like a bump on a log, making no move to stop her. In retrospect, he wished he had, but the situation was damned awkward and he hadn’t known how to react. His feelings were still as clear as mud where Janice was concerned.

He told himself he was just being the friend that Janice needed, but his feelings for her were far from platonic. Being honest, he hadn’t stopped thinking of their night together since leaving Casper, but those thoughts were mixed with guilt. He wanted her again. There was no doubt in his mind about that, but he didn’t want to play the kind of games with her that Rachel had played with him, so he’d kept his distance hoping to get his head straight. He’d thought the time on the road would help him get his shit together, but after three weeks, he still wasn’t any closer to making any decisions about his life…or about Janice.

He noticed Grady’s continued interest in her didn’t keep him from disappearing with a skanky brunette who’d had a few too many, shortly after Janice’s departure. He and a wannabe bull rider named Seth Lawson had headed off in the direction of the restrooms when she’d offered them a threesome. Dirk just shook his head and ordered another drink.

For four years he and Grady traveled together and raised hell together, but Dirk didn’t trust him any further than he could throw him, especially where Janice was concerned. He was a selfish, reckless, and ambitious opportunist who’d take whatever he could get and then move on when the mood struck him. Janice didn’t deserve to be treated like that. No woman did—except maybe the ones who gave blow jobs in the men’s room. He told himself that’s why he’d played interference between Janice and Grady. He was just looking after her.

He didn’t understand why she inspired his protective instincts, but he’d felt that way about her even before he and Rachel split. There was something about her that stirred him, but it was completely unlike what he’d felt for Rachel, leaving him damned confused. Tonight he hadn’t gone to Rachel, or gone after Janice. Instead, he’d just sat like a dumb sack of shit. He was wishing he was just about anywhere else but Cheyenne, when he looked up to find Rachel standing there.

She looked great in her ass-hugging Wranglers and a snug Western shirt, her blond hair falling over her shoulders. Only a few weeks ago the sight of her would have made his mouth go dry, but now he felt somehow different. Sure he still liked looking at her—no red-blooded man could deny her appeal—but something had changed and he was damned if he could figure out what it was. He just didn’t feel that instant stirring in his groin that she’d always evoked.

“Buy me a drink, cowboy?”

“Sure, Sunshine.” He tipped his hat and turned up his palm in invitation, indicating the empty chair. “When did you get in?”

“Just this morning. It’s been crazy these past weeks with all the traveling and campaigning.” She sat across the table from him, leaning in close to be heard over the band. He got a whiff of her perfume. It was an expensive flowery scent that he’d once found provocative, but now he suddenly preferred the more subtle essence of vanilla.

She shrugged. “But you know how it is.”

He signaled the waitress. “Yeah. It’s crazy, all right.”

“How ’bout you? How’ve you been? You look good…” She slanted a meaningful gaze through her lashes. “Damn good.”

“I’m well enough,” he answered.

The waitress appeared and took Rachel’s drink order. After she left they studied each other in a protracted silence. Rachel traced patterns on a cocktail napkin, looking up only when the waitress delivered her cosmo. “Dirk,” she ventured after a time, “we really need to talk. I think we both said some things we didn’t mean back in Casper.”

“Maybe one of us did, Sunshine,” he said. “But I can’t recall sayin’ anything I’ve changed my mind about.”

She frowned at him. “You aren’t making this easy for me. Don’t you think you could at least meet me halfway? I’m trying to apologize. All I want to do now is put this all behind us.”

“And then what? You think we’re gonna just pick up where we left off?”

“Well…yes. Why not?”

He sat back in his chair and pushed his hat up off his brow. “Because things have changed.”

Her frown deepened. “Things? What kind of things?” Her green eyes flashed accusingly. “Are you seeing someone else?”

“Nope.” It wasn’t a lie. He and Janice weren’t involved. “But I might ask you the same thing. You seemed to be getting pretty friendly with my brother.”

“That? It was nothing.” She waved her hand. “I was just hurt—”

“So you decided to use my own brother to strike out at me?” He slowly shook his head. “Don’t seem right to come between us like that, Sunshine.”

She had the decency to look abashed. “I already said I’m sorry.”

“We don’t want the same things, Rae,” Dirk said after a time. “You’re looking to settle down, and I’m not ready. I’d like to see a bit of the world first. Hell, I’ve never even seen the ocean.”

“Then why don’t we go together? Daddy’s thinking about buying a condo in Hawaii.”