Rose in Bloom (Sex and the Season #2)(76)
“Oh, no.” Rose exhaled. Lily had told him.
“I’ve been a fool.” Cameron brushed a piece of grass out of her hair. “Why did I ever try to live without you? You’re my muse, the other side of my song. I need you. I love you.”
“Cameron, what is this about?” Rose brushed his hand away. She couldn’t take more of his lies. Her mind was still muddled with sleep…
“No, please don’t push me away.” He reached for her hands again and brought both to his lips. “Can you ever forgive me?”
Rose shook her head. “Cameron, don’t do this. Please.”
“Tell me you still love me. Please tell me you still love me.”
“Stop.” She pushed him away. “I can’t listen to any more of this. You won’t hurt me again. I swear it!”
“I will never hurt you again.” Cameron’s face was twisted in anguish. “God, I’m so sorry. I love you, sweetheart. I love you.”
Rose’s lips trembled, but she willed herself to remain strong. “This isn’t fair. I know you’re just here because of…what Lily told you.”
“What Lily told me?” Cameron arched his eyebrows. “She said only that you loved me, that you were suffering.”
“For God’s sake, Cameron, I may be young and innocent but I’m not a ninny. You’re here because of the babe. How could Lily do this to me?”
“Do what?” Lily said, entering the room. “Rose, thank God you’re all right.”
“Lily, how could you? How could you tell him?”
“I didn’t,” Lily said. “I would never betray you Rose. How could you think it?”
“The babe?” Cameron stared into Rose’s eyes. “You mean, you and I, we made…”
“Then how did he know?” Rose asked.
“You clearly just told him, dear,” Lily said. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I think you two should talk. Alone.” She strode up out of the room.
“You didn’t know?”
“No.” Cameron cupped Rose’s cheek in his hand, gently caressing it with his thumb. The toothy smile that Rose loved spread across his face. “Are you feeling all right? You’re not…ill, are you?”
“No, Cameron. I’m fine. I just a get a little dizzy and a little nauseated sometimes.”
“My angel. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You didn’t want me. I wasn’t going to trap you. And you left anyway. I had no idea where you went or where to find you.”
“I went to Bath. I got a job there. I’m the house composer for the new Regal Theatre.”
Rose couldn’t help smiling. He was finally doing what he loved. “That’s wonderful, Cameron. I always knew you could—” She stopped herself from gushing. “So that’s how Lily found you.”
“Yes.”
“How did she get you to come here then? Bribery? Force?”
“Of course not. She simply told me you were suffering. And that you weren’t marrying Xavier.” He exhaled sharply. “I…never wanted to leave you. There were circumstances. I’m so sorry.”
“Cameron, I can’t think right now,” Rose said. “Can we talk about this tomorrow? I’ll see that a guest chamber is made up for you.”
“Please, let me explain,” he begged. “I did lie to you, but not in the way you think. I always loved you. That was never a lie, sweet. I swear it. The lie was that I didn’t love you. Please, hear me out. I swear on my life I’ll never lie to you again.”
Rose sighed, closing her eyes. She wanted nothing more than to pull him to her and never let him go. “All right. Tell me the truth.”
He was still kneeling before her. He cleared his throat. “Xavier came to me before Kat’s illness and asked me to write a song for you. I agreed to the commission because after you ran from me that first night, I didn’t think we had a future.” He took a deep breath. “Then, after we made love, I meant to cancel the commission. But then Kat had to be hospitalized.”
Rose reached out and pushed a strand of Cam’s hair behind his ear. “Yes?”
“I needed money, Rose. Xavier’s commission was the easiest and fastest way to get it. I had to choose between my sister’s life and the woman I love most in the world. I knew Xavier would take care of you and you would want for naught. That you’d have a much better life than I could give you. It killed me to do it, but I…let you go.”
“Cameron…”
“I knew the only way you would leave me is if I convinced you that I didn’t love you and I told you to go.” He raked his hand through his hair. “I must be a hell of an actor.”
“Cameron, none of this was necessary.
“I didn’t see an option at the time. I’m sorry.”
“I would have helped you. I would have done anything for you and for Kat.”
“I didn’t want to take your money. What kind of man would that make me?”
“The kind who lets the woman who loves him share his burdens, Cam.”
“Cam. You called me Cam.” His smile lit up his face. Then, “I’m the man, Rose. I’m supposed to take care of you, not the other way around.”