Rose in Bloom (Sex and the Season #2)(54)

“Of course. You know I will.”

“Well,” Rose began, sniffling, “you know Mr. Price, the man who composed Lily’s Waltz?”

“Yes, of course. He seemed quite charming and attractive.”

“He is. Or was. I don’t know. But he’s a commoner. Completely unsuitable for me. While we worked together on the waltz for Lily, he made it quite clear that I was above his station, a snotty pampered lady of the peerage. But we were attracted to each other. I found out how he felt the night of the wedding ball. He, well, he had been drinking, and he wanted to dance with me. It was the most wonderful feeling to be in his arms.”

“Go on.”

“He and I…that is…I thought… Oh, I can’t bear this!”

Lucy tightened her hold on Rose and stroked her back. “There, there. It’s going to be all right.”

“I…I love him. And I thought he loved me. At least, he said he did. But he lied to me, Aunt Lucy. He lied to me so I would…so I would…”

“Oh dear, you don’t have to say any more, sweetheart.”

Rose let out a giant sob. “That’s what he called me. Sweetheart.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“I gave him everything. I gave him my body and my love. I gave him my soul. I would have lived with him anywhere. In squalor. I didn’t care that he was a commoner. A tenant. I would have learned to cook and clean. I would have taken care of him. I would have…” Rose trembled against Lucy.

“My goodness, you poor little thing,” Lucy consoled. “I can’t believe Cameron would treat you this way. I’ve known that boy since he was a babe. His father was a fine man, a hard worker, and his mother is intelligent and strong. They were good parents. I never would have believed that he could… Well, even I have misjudged a person in my day. He’s not worth this anguish, Rose.”

“Oh, but he is. He’s brilliant, really. His music touches me so deeply. I feel like it flows from his soul straight to my fingers when I play it. It’s amazing, the talent that he has. I would have followed him anywhere, done anything to be with him.”

“I know. I know.”

“Aunt Lucy, did you and Nolan ever…you know?”

Lucy smiled. “I’ve never told anyone this, not even Maggie. But yes, we did. Twice.”

“Did you ever regret it?”

“Not ever.”

“I don’t regret it either. It was my choice, and I loved him. I wanted him.” She sobbed again. “I miss him so. When will it stop hurting?”

“It will fade, dear. It always does.”

“It’s just that…I could have sworn he was sincere. The things he said to me, the way he… Well, obviously I was just too naive and simple-minded to see through him, I guess.”

“None of this is your fault.”

“I know. I don’t blame myself. I don’t blame him either, really. I…still love him.”

“I know.”

“I just love him with all of my heart. I gave him everything and he—” Rose clutched at her stomach as a wave of nausea enveloped her. “Oh dear, I think I’m going to be sick.”

Lucy hurried to fetch a basin, and Rose retched into it. Lucy smoothed her hair and wiped her mouth with a damp cloth.

“You poor thing.” She took the basin away and then returned. “Is that better?”

“Yes, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“You’re distraught, dear. Anyone can see that. Emotions turn physical every now and then. Calm yourself down. It will be all right.”

Rose nodded. “But then there’s Evan. He’s been kind and gentle, and he cares for me and I for him. I’m fairly certain he’s planning to propose marriage to me. But I don’t love him. And I’m not sure if he loves me.”

“Many successful marriages are based on virtues other than love, dear.”

“I know. But you weren’t willing to settle for that.”

“No. But many do, without regrets.”

“Yes, I know.” Then, “Cameron doesn’t love me. He left me, actually. His family is gone from the land. I went to see him today. His mother, well, she intimated that he was in love with me, so I went to find out the truth. They were gone. I have no idea where they went. Even knowing how he treated me, the thought of never seeing him again is nearly unbearable.”

“I know.”

“But Evan… I don’t know what to do! And he’s here, Aunt Lucy. I saw his carriage when I came back.”

“Yes, he arrived early. Lord Brighton isn’t due until dinner time.”

“So now I’ll have to see Evan and pretend like nothing is wrong, and… I thought I had made up my mind to accept him, but now, after hearing about you and Nolan, I just don’t know.”

Lucy rocked Rose in her arms. “Don’t you worry about Evan right now. I’ll take care of you. You can lie in here for a while and rest, and then I’ll have my maid come and fix your hair. You don’t have to see Evan until you’re feeling up to it.”

“I’m not sure I’ll feel up to it this century.”

“You will. The pain fades after a while. I promise you that it does. Come now.” She stood, helped Rose to her feet, led her into her bedchamber, and loosened her gown and corset. “Lie down for a while, dear. I’ll send my maid in two hours to attend you.”