Roman (Cold Fury Hockey #7)(34)
Even as it hits me in a very disappointing way that she’s warning me off from a man I very much like, and that I’ll have to give credence to her advice on this, I’m also equally warmed and encouraged by the direction from which she is coming.
From the place of a sister.
And that is something I cannot ignore, not when the entire reason I moved to this area was to reach out to my new family and develop something with them.
Still, I have to be absolutely clear about what she’s saying, so I ask, “Are you saying that you absolutely don’t want me to see him?”
Gray shifts on her feet, appears slightly uncomfortable, but she looks me directly in the eye when she says, “I would never tell you what to do, Lexi. I’m just saying I have sincere hesitations in your seeing him. I don’t think he’s good enough for you, and frankly, from what I know about him, he’s not dating material. He’s sort of a player, and not even a nice one at that. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
My heart plummets and my stomach tightens. I know some of these things about Roman, merely because I read the same news as everyone else. But that is not what I’ve seen in my personal experience with him.
Not at all.
Gray adds one other thing that causes my stomach to twist into a painful knot. “And while I’m speaking mostly from a personal concern for you, I want to remind you…once you step into the Brannon family and are held out to the world as such, you will have certain obligations to consider.”
“Obligations?” I whisper with no small amount of dread, as her words sound ominous to me.
“You’ll represent the Brannon name,” she says softly but firmly. “Anything you do represents this family and our dynasty. If you get involved with Roman, and he drags you into something scandalous, which he’s bound to do, it will reflect on the Brannons. Not to mention, if Roman continues on his current path, I may be forced to release him from the team. Do you really want to be tied up in that?”
Before I can respond, Gray’s eyes move past me to someone over my shoulder, and I turn to see Roman walking my way. He’s wearing his hockey gear, even his skates, although they have guards on them. If I thought he towered over me before, he looks absolutely gigantic as he lumbers our way. His eyes move from me to Gray, and harden slightly when they land on her.
Gray murmurs softly behind me so I know Roman can’t hear as he approaches. “I’ll send someone down in a bit to bring you up to the box.”
Without even turning to look at her, I sense she’s retreated in the opposite direction and Roman’s eyes come back to me. When he gets within a few feet of me, he actually growls and it’s loud enough I’m sure it carried down the hall to Gray. “What did she want?”
I tense, torn between the need to defend Gray and her advice to me, and at the same time, hating that she gave me that advice. It puts me in a terrible position.
But one thing I won’t do to Roman is lie to him. “She was warning me away from you.”
“I’ll just bet she was,” he grits out, his eyes flashing with fury. “I’m sure she went over all my bad qualities, right?”
“It was nothing I didn’t already know before I met you,” I tell him softly, and he visibly relaxes at that.
Smiling at me, he puts his hands on my shoulders and says, “Good. I don’t want to have to get in a pissing contest with my boss over whether or not I can see you.”
“I don’t want that either,” I say sadly, and Roman tenses again over the hidden meaning in that statement.
“That sounds ominous” he observes cautiously.
With a sigh, I tell him, “Roman…I moved here to Raleigh to try to connect with my new family. And Gray’s been so reserved with me. This is the first time she’s given me any indication she might be able to care for me one day, and…well…”
“You can’t pass up the opportunity,” he says with resignation.
“I can’t threaten to tear the very fragile foundation we have going on right now,” I say apologetically. “I’m really sorry.”
A mask of disappointment hardens his face, although I am relieved to see understanding as well. His hands drop from my shoulders. “I’m sorry too.”
We stand there, awkwardly silent and not really sure where this leaves us. I think we may have just broken up without ever really getting started, but then Roman says, “I have to get back into the locker room. Do you want me to take you home after the game?”
I shake my head. “Brian said something about us going out for a drink after. I’m sure he’ll take me there, but can I drop by your house sometime when it’s convenient for you the next few days and pick up my stuff?”
His lips tip upward in a sad but gracious acceptance of what’s just occurred. “Sure. Just text me and we’ll work out something.”
“Okay,” I say, suddenly feeling oppressed by a heavy, bitter weight of unfairness settling upon me. I shouldn’t have to choose, and yet I’m doing just that. I shouldn’t have to give up a man I’m so very interested in, just to gain a foothold with a sister I’m also interested in developing a relationship with.
It shouldn’t have to be one or the other, not when both could be very good for me.
“Take care, Lexi,” Roman says in a low voice, and before I can question my decision to cut him out, he turns away and heads back toward the locker room.