Ripper (Hunter #1)(32)

“Calm down, demon.” The blond seemed to be the only one talking. He never glanced down at Gray. He only seemed to have eyes for me. “This isn’t about you. It’s always been about her, and we seriously doubt she’s just a human.”

I didn’t have time to ponder the wolf’s statement because I found myself in the center of the alley and the wolves were prowling. Their big tails twitched around me and harsh growls filled the space. Those guttural growls reverberated off the walls until they filled my whole world.

I turned and then twisted again, my panicked movements forming a circle because I didn’t want to lose track of them, didn’t want them attacking my back. The task became impossible. I couldn’t keep them all in my sights. They were everywhere and I saw no way out.

Before that moment when the wolves started to circle me, I would have told anyone who asked that I would welcome a chance like this. Death wish. My brothers always said the words with a shake of their heads. I’d been looking for it for a long time and now that it was here, all I could think about was Gray. I’d just met him and I wouldn’t be able to see if it could work. I knew deep down that it probably wouldn’t, but I wanted that shot to see if I could be happy with him even for a little while. I was so pissed off that chance was being taken away from me, but I didn’t see a way out. Maybe this was all for the best since I knew why they were here. My past had finally caught up to me.

I couldn’t fight them all off.

“You can fight them,” a voice whispered in my head. It was oddly familiar and it came from deep in my brain. It wasn’t my subconscious. My subconscious voice was definitely more feminine and sarcastic than the deeply masculine authority speaking in my brain. This was an outside influence. It had to be whoever was watching. The wolves prowled around, but I stopped and looked at the building behind me. It was the only one with a view to where I stood, the only place from which to watch this complete clusterf*ck of a scene play out.

I saw nothing. Not even a shadow.

“Calm down and open your senses,” the voice commanded. So familiar. Through the haze of my fear, I tried to place it. It was like trying to remember some character actor you see in movies all the time but never know the name.

“Kelsey, you can do this,” the voice said calmly. “They’re just wolves. They’re not even alphas. You can handle them. You simply have to stop fighting your instincts.”

“I don’t have any f*cking instincts!” I shouted to the faceless idiot in my head. Who gave a damn that they weren’t alphas? They outweighed me each by seventy pounds at minimum, and I didn’t even have my crappy firearm any more.

But you do, something said and this little voice was all me. You have those instincts. Don’t you remember that day? Your father didn’t run away because he was tired of his family. He ran because he was afraid, Kelsey. He was afraid of you. After what you did, can you blame him?

My hands shook as the wolves moved closer. This was why I hid. This was why I had stayed away from this world for ten years. This was why I ruthlessly controlled my temper with alcohol and sarcasm and pushing away anyone who might challenge me. I avoided confrontation and remained calm at all times to avoid that beast that always seemed so close to the surface. There was nowhere to run. I felt something build in me. It started in my gut and radiated until it filled me.

“Yes, Kelsey,” the voice in my head said. I could practically feel his satisfaction. “Don’t fight your instincts. Let it flow.”

Abruptly I realized I didn’t want that son of a bitch in my head and I shoved him out. I felt his surprise as I threw down a wall between us and he couldn’t talk to me anymore. I didn’t need the peanut gallery telling me how to fight.

I knew how to fight.

I crouched down and let that instinct flow over me like a warm, angry blanket. I’d denied it so long that it was a drug invading my veins. It burned through me and I felt a little high. It felt good to not deny it any longer. I closed my eyes and knew where every wolf was and exactly how he would try to strike me. I knew how I would react. I saw the moves in my head and knew I could and would win. This wasn’t the instinct that told me when I wasn’t alone or the one that let me know when someone was lying.

This instinct was base and primal. It told me to kill.

The first wolf struck, seeming to know that I was ready to play. I kicked out, using my position to shove up and catch him under his snout. Though I’d never fought a wolf like this, I knew where to hit him and how much pressure to apply. When he went down, I crushed his jaw with a strong, downward kick, feeling it break against my foot. He might be able to heal that, but it would take a while. He wouldn’t be any good for the rest of this fight. He was down and that was good enough. I could finish him off later, when it was quiet and I had the time to do it right.

I dodged the two wolves who attacked next. I rolled to the left and hit the side of the brick wall. Something cold hit my hand and I found a nice long piece of rebar someone had conveniently left behind for me. It was slender but strong and would work beautifully if enough pressure was applied. I bounced up and landed on my feet, twirling my newfound weapon as the wolves tried to surround me again. I let them. A neat little circle would make them easier to kill, that dark voice that was all mine said.

When the circle tightened, I swung the metal staff around and brought it down on the wolf in front of me as I kicked out and caught the one behind me. They both went down and I continued the successful move as I turned and took them down two by two, my blood pumping in a satisfying way it never had before. I didn’t think. I acted and reacted, my body a tool of the instincts riding me. I brought the rebar down on the last wolf and for good measure, I stood over that big black canine and shoved the rebar through his torso. I did it with a vicious sort of glee, enjoying the sounds and the way the blood spurted out of the wound I caused.