Revealing Us (Inside Out #3)(17)

I suck in hard-earned air and exhale painfully. “Damn you, Chris. I opened myself up to you. I gave you everything that I am, when I swore I’d never do that with anyone. I let you spank me.” Pain nearly doubles me over, but somehow I hold myself upright. “I’m going home.” I turn away, seeking escape.

Chris shackles my arm. I whirl on him again and tug against his grip, not about to let him pull me close and cloud my judgment. Judgment that’s apparently impaired where he’s concerned, or I would have seen this coming. “I want to go home, Chris.”

“Home is with me, Sara.”

“Seems that Amber thinks so, too.”

He motions to the bed with his head. “Let’s sit down and I’ll explain.”

His lack of denial carves an extra piece of my heart out. I shake my head, vehemently rejecting that idea. “No. I’ll want to believe whatever you tell me, when that’s obviously a bad idea.”

My gaze rakes his shoulder, and the brightly colored tattoo she created, and anger burns in my belly. “Do you have any idea how much I hate that you were naked while you were down there with her? Which is crazy, since I know you’ve probably been naked with her more than with me.”

His eyes lash, and it’s all the warning I get. “That’s it,” he snaps. “You’re going to listen to what I have to say.” A second later I’m wrapped in his embrace and his long, muscular frame melds to mine, doing exactly what I’d feared. Distracting me.

Working me over. Making me forget.

Big and strong, he easily maneuvers me to the bed, forces me to sit down, and bends over, his hands at my sides, efectively trapping me. His eyes meet mine and it doesn’t seem to matter how hurt and betrayed I feel. I can’t escape the familiar punch of awareness he creates in me.

“You are the only woman in my life,” Chris declares, and the rough emotion in his voice creates hope in me. “You know that, Sara. I know you know that. You’re reacting to the events of the past twenty-four hours, and even the past few weeks of hell we’ve gone through together.”

Maybe.

Probably.

Partially—but I don’t give him the hope he’s given me.

Selish as it might be, I need it too much myself.

“And yes,” he concedes, “I used to f*ck Amber, but it’s been years since I even thought about touching her. And a lot longer than that, since it mattered when I did.”

“So at some point she was special to you.”

“You took that out of context. We met in college and she pulled me into the BDSM lifestyle.”

I’m shaken by his matter-of-fact announcement. She looks closer to my twenty-eight than Chris’s thirty-four. I’ve never even thought about him going to college, let alone having it be when he’d discovered BDSM. He started painting before that, and I just assumed he’d gone straight from high school to art. I wonder what else I’ve assumed that I shouldn’t have.

“Baby.” Chris strokes my cheek and I feel the touch all over.

Clearly my body is without the boundries of my mind. “Anything I had beyond friendship with Amber was a long time ago.”

“But it’s part of what deined who you are now, and she’s still a part of your life.”

“Yes. But where we’ve been is what brings us to the place you and I are now.”



He’s right. He’s completely right. So why is this still such an issue to me? I bury my face in my hands. “I’m confused.”

Chris pries my hands away from my face. “You are my present—and, I hope, my future.”

“Then why does she have a key and feel free to just barge in?”

“I have her keep an eye on the place when I’m gone,” he explains. “The security company told her I arrived and, since I came home without warning, she was afraid something was wrong. She’s only a friend, Sara.” His hands move to my legs.

“Nothing more.”

He’s staring at me, willing me to see the truth in his eyes, and I do. I trust Chris. Even when I was downstairs in the midst of that hell, deep down, I trusted him. I reacted to the situation.

And to Amber. “She still wants you, Chris. I felt it in the air.”

“I know.”

His directness stuns me, when it shouldn’t. It drives home why I trust him, but the answer is hard to swallow. “And you don’t see that as being a problem?”

He laughs. “All I am to her is a potential f*ck who happens to be a friend. And she has no family. I’m it. I’m more a big brother to her than anything else.”

My brows dip at that odd description. “Let me get this straight. You’re a big brother and a potential f*ck?”

“Yeah, well, she’s f*cked-up, and I know how to deal with all the cobwebs in her head.” He pulls me to my feet. “Let’s go make sure she knows you are the lady of the house.” He starts leading me toward the door.

My eyes go wide and I tug on his hand. “Wait. No, Chris. It isn’t necessary, and we have no clothes on.”

He turns to stare down at me, his blond hair a rumpled, alluring mess. “It’s not only necessary, it’s mandatory. I want you both to be clear that this is your home, and you are the woman in my life.”