Renegade (The Elysium Chronicles #1)(76)



She gives an exasperated sigh. “Haven’t you noticed it yet? Like when you killed Nick? Or when you got by the Guards? Those other Citizens? Just a tiny little click.”

I don’t say anything, but that’s all the affirmation she needs. Gavin’s gaze burns into me as Mother’s smile widens.

“It’s already started, hasn’t it? You’re already starting to hate him. It’s just tiny lapses now, but it won’t be for long. And there’s nothing you can do about it. If you value the life of your little boy toy, you’ll return him to me. I’ll even let you keep him. All he has to do is go through Conditioning and he’ll be all yours.”

“Never,” I say.

She shrugs. “Suit yourself. Then he’ll die by your hands.”

“What do you mean?”

“Your training. Must I explain everything?” She smiles that awful smile at me. “The closer you get to escaping, the more you’ll forget who you are. The more you’ll revert to your Enforcer Conditioning. And the harder it will be to resist killing a Surface Dweller. After all, that was what you were programmed to do.”

The hologram flickers and shuts off as her laugh echoes around the empty Sector.





CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR



SUBJECT 121, EVELYN WINTERS:



Failure to follow a direct order, resulting in the unnecessary deaths of 10 Citizens and 1 Enforcer. Evaluation shows Conditioning has failed yet again. Recommend immediate disposal.



ETA: Mother has taken over control of said subject.





—DR. FRIAR, INCIDENT REPORT

FOLLOWING MASSACRE AT FESTIVAL





I stare at the spot where she just was. I wish I could say that it surprises me, but it doesn’t, not really. How stupid and na?ve I’ve been to think Mother would just let me walk out the door with a Surface Dweller.

Despite how awful things have turned, our escape had been too easy up till now.

Gavin gently touches my arm. “I don’t think I understood what she just said.”

“She means I’ll succumb to my programming before we can escape.” I pause, my voice getting quieter. “My memories weren’t coming back. I was … reverting, the longer I was escaping with you. And because I was trained to eliminate Surface Dwellers, I will kill you.” Each word I speak causes another fissure to open in my heart. “She has a point. It’s probably best if you go by yourself. And that I return to Mother.”

She won’t be happy I let him escape, but since by then he’ll be on his way to the Surface, there won’t be anything she can do about it. What she’ll do to me, though, that’s another thing altogether.

He shakes his head. “I’m not leaving without you. We haven’t come this far for me to abandon you at the end. We’re almost there. You’ve broken through your Conditioning before.” He touches my rose charm. “You’ll do it again.”

“I know, but this is different—”

Gavin places his finger across my lips. “Don’t. It’s no different.” He takes my hand. “And I’m not turning my back on you, and I’m not letting you turn your back on me. It’s all or nothing now, Evie. For better or for worse, right?”

My stomach flips and my heart lodges in my throat. “But your family. They need you.”

He smiles his lopsided grin and cups my cheek. I melt when he looks into my eyes and says, “I need you.”

Closing my eyes, I lean into his hand. “All right, but if I kill you, you have no one to blame but yourself.”

“You won’t kill me. It’ll never happen,” he says so confidently, I almost believe him.

He leads the way down the hallway toward the elevators that will take us to the floor the submersibles should be on. I don’t follow, wishing I had as much confidence in myself as he has in me.

He turns when he realizes I haven’t followed. “Coming?”

When he first turns, the red glow from the emergency lights floods over him. He looks like he’s covered in blood. Then he steps back into the white lights and the vision fades in a blink. I hope it’s not a premonition.

With a nod, I hurry to catch up.

*



It seems that we’ve both lost any fear of Mother that we may have had in the beginning, but I wonder if my lack of fear is the Conditioning taking over. The farther into Sector Three we get, the less my nerves bother me and the more assured I am that I can handle anything.

But I’m worried about what Mother said. Especially now when, trapped in the elevator as it shoots us up to the topmost floor of the Sector, with nowhere to go—nowhere to escape—Gavin touches me on the shoulder. Another wave of hate for him threatens to drown me. I want to strangle him for touching me. For making my nerves wriggle like snakes under my skin.

I force myself to face away from him. To remember everything we’ve been through together. That it’s only Mother’s programming that’s causing this. It’s not my real feelings. But it’s hard to remember what my real feelings are at this point.

The worst part is how often it’s happening now—the feeling of intense hate that overcomes me for Gavin. It lasts only seconds, but it’s stronger each time.

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