Renegade (The Elysium Chronicles #1)(63)
“No!” he says.
“What else do you want from me?”
“I want you to—” He cuts himself off and thins his lips.
“What?”
“I want you to … trust me. To let me help you when you need it.”
I weave my brows together. I’m sure that’s not what he was going to say, but he’s crossed his arms over his chest and I doubt I’ll get the real answer.
“I want to know I can trust you, too. That you won’t leave me behind like some incompetent ass that can’t take care of himself, let alone his girl.”
His voice is quiet now and I can hear so much sadness behind it, I immediately feel ashamed for not trusting him, when he trusted me.
“You’re right. I’m sorry,” I finally say. “I trust you. I won’t do it again.”
He looks up at me, suspicion clouding his eyes. “Are you sure?”
“Yes. You and me. Together. Until the end. For better or worse.”
He raises an eyebrow, and he gives me a tilted smile. “Until the end,” he repeats. Then he’s pulling me in for a shaky hug, squeezing so tightly I squeak when I try to breathe. When he hears the squeak, he releases me a fraction.
“I’m sorry, Gavin,” I say. “I really am. I can’t imagine what it was like waiting for me.”
He pulls back and I’m sure I’m in for another lecture, but then his mouth crushes down on mine, his hands traveling over every available space on my body.
I’m so shocked I don’t do anything. This kiss is different from our others. Way different. My heart thunders in my ears and kicks in my chest. My breaths turn ragged. My head spins, but this time there’s no panic. Only surprise. And pleasure.
When he finally releases me, I wobble.
We stare at each other, until Macie clears her throat. “Touching by unCoupleds is against the law. Unless, of course, you’d like to share something with me.”
I turn my attention to her. She’s standing now, and although her stance is wary, there’s a hint of amusement in her eyes, and the corner of her lips quiver with a smile.
“You’re one to talk,” I blurt out, and then frown. How did I know that?
She only continues to smile, not even pretending to correct me.
Gavin flashes me a grin. “So, you going to show me what’s under your dress?” he asks with a look toward my chest.
Huh? “Under my … Oh!” I laugh when I realize he felt the data cube in my bra. I pull it out and hand it to him.
“What is this?” he says, studying it.
“It’s a data cube. It’s got some information I think we can use.” Finally, I say, “Have you forgiven me, then? For leaving you here?”
“No,” he says bluntly, without even looking at me.
“Oh.”
“But I understand why you did it.” He turns to face me. “I suppose I would have done the same thing.” He takes the hands I’m clenching at my sides and clasps them between his. “And you promised to never do it again. I trust you.”
“You do?” I ask, completely shocked. “Still?”
“Yes. I do.”
Macie clears her throat again and I look at her. Her eyes are red, and I’m sure it’s from crying. In order to preserve her dignity, I ignore it and hope Gavin does, too.
I step back from Gavin and hold up the data cube. “I brought back some interesting goodies. Feel like doing some analysis for me?” I ask.
She sniffles, then nods and takes the data cube. “What is this?”
I gesture for her to sit, then tell them about what had happened with Mother in her quarters. They’re both leaning forward by the end of it.
“Who was the picture of?” Gavin asks.
“I don’t know. It was a woman, and she was holding a small child on her lap.”
Macie pops the cube into her computer system and a section of her wall lights up to reveal a holographic display. Gavin’s eyes just about pop out of his head.
“That is wicked!” he says. “I wish we had something like this, but we’ve only got these crappy things that don’t work most of the time.”
Macie and I share a smile before going back to look through the files. She takes half and moves them over to another screen and I stay on the first. We look through them for what feels like forever until I find what I’m looking for.
It’s a diary. Mother’s diary.
I almost shut it down, thinking it’s too personal and probably of no use to us, when something catches my eye. It’s an entry from when Mother was a child.
FEBRUARY 1
Daddy says it’s time to go. He can’t stand the thought of losing me, too, so he’s going to go to the only place he knows is safe. We’re going to move to his resort. Elysium! That’s the one under the ocean! Mother never much cared for that one. She was much too afraid of being underwater, so I’ve only been there once. But it’s beautiful.
Daddy’s asked me for a list of my friends and their families to come with us, but I don’t want anyone there but Daddy and I. No one else deserves to live in such a lovely place. They didn’t care that Mother died. They didn’t even try calling to see if I was all right! Even when they knew I saw those awful people shoot her just because she was wearing some gold necklaces! They even took my favorite hairband! The one with all the diamonds on it.