Renegade (The Elysium Chronicles #1)(31)

“No,” she says, and I stop in midstride. “You will inform Gavin of the plans. I’m not going down to that filthy place again. Once is quite enough for me.”

“Yes, Mother. As you wish.” I silently cheer, smiling to myself.

I will indeed inform him of the plans.

*



Back in the cell, Gavin and I sit on the floor in the corner. I’m not sure if it’s necessary anymore, but I block the camera again and wonder if she’s ever even watched us. I can’t imagine her not using that against me.

Or she’s playing me like a drum and watching every move we make, waiting to see what I do and pouncing when the moment’s right.

The thought doesn’t exactly fill me with confidence.

“So?” Gavin asks.

He’s acting like he doesn’t have a care in the world. As if his life and my freedom aren’t waiting on this information and the plan trying to form in my head as we sit here. His legs are stretched out in front of him and crossed at the ankle. His arms rest loosely at his sides, but he might as well have them crossed behind his head, as calm and collected as he appears. Not even his eyes give anything away.

It’s a little unsettling, actually. Only Enforcers can cover their emotions so well. It makes me wonder if he’s as good at faking them as he is at covering them.

I push the thought away. Now’s not the time. “So, you’re a perfect match,” I say with a smile.

“Seriously? Wow.” He goes a little pale, but he smiles and there is a little sparkle in his eyes. Just that little bit of emotion makes me feel so much better.

“Well, I don’t know for sure,” I say, drawing symbols in the dirt on the floor. “I have a friend in the lab. She could have faked the results. But for our purposes, you are perfect.”

“Oh, okay.”

He looks disappointed, so I say, “Your blood is also in the computer, which means you won’t be targeted by the cams or turrets. You’ll essentially have free rein of the facility once they let you out of here.”

He chuckles, but the sound is off, as if he’s laughing more at himself than me. “So, that’s what your plan was. Not coupling, but to get me into the computer.”

“Yes. But…” And now on to the news I’ve been dreading sharing. I’m not sure how he’s going to take it. I stare at the symbols I’ve written on the floor, trying not to see him out of my peripheral vision. “It appears we’ll have to go through with it anyway.”

He pauses. “What do you mean?”

“Mother has stipulated we couple tonight. She doesn’t want me changing my mind again. I have a feeling it’s to test how serious I am about this.” I finally look up, unable to stop myself. “And you.”

He looks into space for a while. Then he clears his throat and shrugs. “I suppose considering all you’ve sacrificed for me, I can make one of my own.” He turns to me and winks, his eyes flashing with amusement.

Relief blows through me and I relax for the first time since I sat down. “Yes, it must be terrible for you.”

He smirks, but then his face sobers and he reaches out to brush a strand of hair from my face, letting his hand linger along my cheek before he jerks his arm back.

I can only assume he remembered he can’t touch me.

Grateful the Guards can’t see my face, I blush. The burn of it travels from the tips of my toes to the roots of my hair. We stare at each other and it feels like there’s a magnet in his eyes, drawing me ever closer. Even if I wanted to, I can’t tear my gaze from his. My fingers itch to touch his again. Just a light brush of skin against skin. I crave the rush it gives me. The mix of emotions it stirs in me. The instant of pure panic, quickly covered by wonder and joy. I wonder if he feels the same when he touches me, if that’s why he’s constantly reaching out. My mouth is suddenly dry, and even though I want to speak, I can’t.

Instead, we both look away from each other.

“So—” we say together.

“Go ahead,” I say.

He shakes his head and gestures for me to continue. “No. Please. You first.”

For some reason, though I’ve been planning this event for years, I’m nervous. I shouldn’t be. I’ve been taught everything I need to know to please him … but he’s a Surface Dweller. Things are different up there.

I glance over and he’s staring again. It makes my skin warm and my blood hum. There’s just something about him that makes me realize it doesn’t matter. No matter what I did, it wouldn’t be wrong.

“Are you sure about this?” he asks. “I mean, this is a big step. Kids and everything.”

“It’s the only way to save you,” I say, “but we don’t have to have a child. I can secure … things that will prevent a pregnancy.”

He blinks. “You can? But why do you? I mean, what’s the point? I thought only people who are approved to have kids have kids, so why do you have stuff to prevent pregnancy?”

“Breeding can only be authorized by Mother, and only for Coupled Citizens,” I explain. “But the physical act strengthens pair-bonding, which in turn strengthens society. We simply ensure no unauthorized breeding with contraception.”

He glances at the camera and then leans in close. His breath tickles my neck. “But … won’t they be watching?”