Relinquish(35)

I take a big breath. Here it goes, no turning back. I lift up on my knees and hover my heat right over his cock. I plant my hands on his chest and lower myself slowly onto him. My heart drums against my chest violently as I fully take him inside of me. I still; it stings from only having sex once before.

“Holy f*ck, you’re tight,” he grunts, thrusting his hips up. I try not to wince and attempt a small smile. I push myself up and down, looking for that ecstasy I found with Landon. When he claimed my body, that fullness he brought filled my insecurities, my emptiness. That sensation of being alone and abandoned vanished with nothing except falling into pleasure. I growl, frustrated that I’m still thinking of Landon, and thrust harder on Smith, literally trying to f*ck Landon out of my mind.

“Yes. Yes,” Smith huffs, grabbing onto my hips. I close my eyes, focusing on my own selfish need to come.

“You’re so good at this,” I pant. No, he’s not. He’s not even close.

“So big!” I holler. He’s small in comparison to what I’ve seen.

Just when I think I feel a hint of warmth spread through my limbs, the start of something pleasurable, a whimper escapes my lips. I fist his shirt hard and pump myself up and down quicker, chasing that feeling of satisfaction, but Smith stiffens beneath me. He grunts and trembles as he comes. Already? His legs kick beneath me, and a squealing noise leaves his gaping mouth as he finishes. I pull myself off him and roll over, collecting the money while blowing out a breath of frustration. I mask my irritation and turn toward him.

“Thanks, Smith.” I flutter my eyelashes at him. “We should do it again sometime,” I suggest sweetly, pulling my dress down. But on the inside, I feel anything but sweet. I feel anger and resentment.

“Yeah,” he pants violently.

He stands and peels the condom off his length, tossing it in the waste basket.

“See you around, Fancy,” he says, shoving himself back into his pants.

I fall on the bed, my head pounding with what I just did. Adrenaline flees my system, leaving realization in its wake. I f*cked a man for four hundred dollars. My eyes sting with the welling of tears at the thought. I liked it, though. The way his hands explored my body, the way he looked at me. Trying to f*ck Landon’s voice out of my head wasn’t so bad, either. In fact, I found some sanctuary in it. It wasn’t until I was so disappointedly let down from not reaching my own release that my conscience reminded me that I just knowingly stamped myself as a whore. I shake my head and wipe at a tear escaping the corner of my eye.

“Get a f*cking grip,” I chastise myself, heading to the bathroom to clean up. Going back into the main room, I don’t hear the music playing on the TV. I frown in confusion.

“You’re a natural,” Mick announces, sitting on the bed, his legs crossed as he puffs on a cigar. His white suit sticks out like a sore thumb amongst the crappy motel room.

“Excuse me?” I ask.

He points to the smoke alarm above the bed and grins.

“This room is on video. I send girls I’m not sure can deliver in here in the beginning, see how they handle their first f*ck.”

“You videotaped me?!” I shriek, my hands ball into fists with anger. I just went from prostitute to porn star in the matter of minutes. My legs shake with rage, and shame bubbles in my chest.

“I didn’t record anything, baby, so calm down. I just watched. I needed to know if you had what it takes, and I must say, you surprised me very much.” He laughs, expelling cigar smoke into the room.

Having his approval, I relax my stressed stance for some reason and cross my arms. The delight of such praise from Mick is a high I didn’t expect.

“So, can I join Jayden then?” I question, and shrug my shoulders.

“No, you cannot join, not just yet. But you can take the rest of the night off, and from now on, you’ll be in room 3.” He stands, his index finger and thumb cradling the dark cigar.

“And you better start calling Jayden by her street name.” He puffs out a bunch of smoke.

I roll my eyes and huff at my slip-up.

“Does your apartment have air, Fancy?” He raises a brow, waiting for my response.

I narrow my eyes. “No.”

“It will now.” He cups my cheek and looks into my eyes with admiration.

“I can tell you had it rough, girl, but this is your family now. This is your home.”

I blink rapidly at the care he displays. I’m not sure what to make of it. This stranger, this man I know nothing about, has more care for my wellbeing than people I’ve known for years. There’s something unsettling about that.

“Mick has you now, baby girl.” He places his cigar between his teeth and pats my cheek. “I’ll get the address to your place from Rarity.” He turns to leave, smoke following him. “Go home and clean up. You did good tonight.”

After Mick leaves, the smell of cigar prominent in the room, I expel the breath I was holding when he touched me. I can’t help the satisfaction forming in my chest from pleasing him, shocking him. I don’t think I’ve ever done anything right in my life. I shake my head, confused why I care so much.





ELEVEN


LANDON


“Where’s Claudia?” I question my brother Roman as I look over the charts of the girls’ earnings. Claudia hasn’t had any clients for days now. It’s unacceptable.