Relinquish(16)

He has bought me clothes, shoes, a cell phone, and even helped me with my rent. Jayden and I actually have some food in our fridge. We’d be starving or out on the streets without him. The next time we go out, I think I may give myself to him fully. Maybe. I don’t know.

My stomach falls with the thought, excitement and confusion racing through me like a source of adrenaline. I want to want to have sex with Chasen, but for some reason, my head isn’t as convinced. Get a grip. It’ll be like taking off a Band-Aid; just get it over with. Chasen is the only guy who’s showed any interest in me since… ever.

I’m thinking way too much about it. I blow an irritated breath. It’s just sex. Nothing more. Besides, it’s not like I have a line of suitors lined up at my door. Maybe sex is exactly what I need to fill this aching hole in my chest. It’s like a black hole that’s been there since I can remember, and it sucks the life out of me.

“I’ll be back tomorrow, babe,” Jayden informs, walking out the door.

“Where are you going?” I question, all motherly and whatnot. Jayden sighs and rolls her eyes.

“There’s a frat party. I’m just going to go check it out. Chill,” she huffs, slamming the door before leaving.

I reach over and grab some pink fingernail polish as my phone vibrates. It’s just a cheapy pay-as-you-go, but it’s the only cell phone I’ve ever had. I reach over and grab it.

I got something just for you, babe. Meet me outside in ten.

“He has something for me?” I mutter, a smile creeping across my face. My heart skips a beat in excitement. I’ve never been given a gift before.

I run over to the closet and find that black dress, grabbing Jayden’s black heels that match it. I look in my suitcase for some clean panties, but come up short. I need to go to the dry cleaners bad. Looks like I’m going commando. Jayden would be proud.

I finger my hair, trying to tame the bed-head look I’ve got going on, and quickly apply some light makeup. My heart beats against my chest anxiously, curious at what Chasen has for me. I’m excited and nearly trip on my heels exiting the apartment.

Walking out, it’s hot and muggy, even when the sun has gone down. The street is deserted and the café up the street just turned its lights off, making the area pitch-black. The eerie darkness conceals the alleys and sidewalk, a sense of unease rushing in my veins. I swallow the sudden lump in my throat. A bunch of deep laughter echoes down the way, causing me to look toward the street heading toward the college.

“Fancy!” Chasen hollers. Hearing his voice, I relax a little, knowing he’s there. As he gets closer, I notice a couple of buff guys walking beside him. I look at the bunch in confusion. I thought Chasen would be alone. Heading toward them, I hear music blaring from the college dorms, Eminem and Sia’s, “Beautiful Disaster”.

“This her?” a guy with a low buzz-cut and what looks like a college football jersey that matches Chasen’s asks. His eyes rake over my frame unforgivingly, and he licks his bottom lip. I curl my own in reaction.

“Damn, man,” another guy with dark, short-spiked hair remarks. My spine stiffens and my body chills. I’m not sure why I react with such high-alert, but my instincts are telling me I should run. Growing up in such a hostile environment, my gut has never been wrong. But Chasen is with them. He won’t let anything happen to me.

“Yep, best head I’ve had, I’m telling you,” Chasen adds, looking up at the sky like my mouth is God’s gift to Earth. A menacing smile stretches across his face. Did he always smile like that? Am I just now noticing it? Shame fills the pit of my stomach.

My eyes widen and my mouth parts to allow my harsh breathing to escape. My brows furrow in confusion as to why he would say such a personal thing to his friends. Trusting my gut, I turn on my heel, ready to run back to my apartment, but a rock-hard hand grasps my upper arm and stops me, pulling me back with force. Looking over my shoulder, I see a smiling buzz-cut glowering at me. I tear my arm from his hold, tripping over my high heels, and glare at him.

“So, Chasen said he can’t get you to go all the way with him. How much more do we gotta pay to get between those legs?” Buzz-cut asks, reaching out and sliding his hand up my dress uninvited.

“Don’t f*cking touch me.” I raise my fist back in a threatening manner, ready to fight my way through three men if I have to. But if they look closely, they could see my fist shake with fear. I can’t help the wave of vulnerability and hurt coursing through me. I’m confused. Why would Chasen tell his friends that, and why do his friends think I would sleep with them?

“Fuck, she ain’t wearing any panties,” Buzz-cut laughs, looking back at Chasen and the other guys, his eyes hard with determination. My cheeks flush with humiliation as I look at Chasen with rage. Why in the f*ck isn’t he coming to my defense? He should punch his friend for touching me. SOMETHING. But Chasen just nods, his eyes looking at me with an animalistic flare. He’s clearly not the guy I thought he was. He isn’t going to protect me at all. In fact, he’s throwing me to his frat buddies like I’m fresh meat.

“Is this what you were talking about when you said you had something for me, Chasen?” I scowl and point at his two dipshit friends. “’Cause if it was, all three of you can f*ck off!” My voice echoes down the street.

“Come on, baby,” Spiked hair coos, strutting forward and slapping my ass, hard. My backside burns from the unsought connection, the sting racing up my spine.