Released (The Eternal Balance #3)(12)

“You can,” the demon insisted. “You have only to focus. Concentrate on the bruise. Visualize the broken blood vessels repairing themselves.”

“Visualize,” I repeated, closing my eyes. I visualized. I concentrated. And after a few minutes, I was focusing so hard that I thought my brain might implode. When I opened my eyes, of course, the damn bruise was still there. “This is impossible.”

Azi mumbled something that didn’t sound like English. It moved in a blur, suddenly standing and dragging me up as well, and it had a blade pressed against the inside of my wrist. “Perhaps you lack the proper motivation.”

Again with the motivation—

I bit back a gasp as Jax’s hand tightened around my arm and the demon jerked the blade across my skin. For a second nothing happened. The cold steel caressed my wrist and left a lingering chill that made the hairs on the back of my neck jump. It itched a second or two—then the blood began to flow, at first appearing as a thin line of red, then thickening and dripping faster.

“What the—are you insane?” I tried to pull free, but the demon’s grip was like iron. I struggled and lashed out, kicking at every part of Jax’s body I could get to. The attacks did nothing.

Azi held my arm at an angle so that the blood ran down my forearm and pooled at my elbow momentarily before hitting the small braided rug at our feet. “Stop the bleeding.”

How long before things got fuzzy? How much blood loss would it take for me to pass out? To die? A bubble formed in my chest, making it hard to breathe. No. Azi wouldn’t kill me. The demon wouldn’t let me die. But the determination I saw etched in Jax’s expression, one not his at all, said otherwise.

Fear turned into full-blown panic. There was a right way and a wrong way to slit your wrists. Which gave more bang for the suicidal buck? Sideways? Horizontal—vertical? My mind raced, but I couldn’t focus on a single thought.

He’d made the cut horizontal.

Maybe that was the wrong way.

Maybe I wasn’t in danger.

But there was already so much blood…

I twisted and thrashed, but he wouldn’t let me go.

“There’s only one way out of this,” the demon said.

No choice.

I closed my eyes, gave into Azi’s madness, and tried to focus. I pictured the skin whole and unmarred, the blood gone and the itching sting vanished. Of course, the demon was absolutely insane in thinking I could magically heal myself, because nothing happened. I opened my eyes as the panic reached new heights. “Don’t do this, Azi.” The blood thundered in my ears, and I was starting to get dizzy. “I’m scared—”

“Historically, fear is the ultimate motivator for your kind.” It lifted my arm a little higher and tilted Jax’s head to the left. “You should calm down. I can hear your heartbeat. The more agitated you become, the faster the blood will flow. You will bleed to death much faster that way. Now, heal the wound.”

The wave of terror grew more potent, the air around me turning icy. Calming down was pretty much off the table at this point. I struggled even harder as tears of frustration stung the corners of my eyes. “If you don’t let me bandage this, I’m going to die!”

Thoughtful for a moment, the demon then sighed. “He is very agitated.”

“Jax?” I stopped thrashing and forced myself to take a deep breath, trying to even out my pulse. It’d made a good point. Logic. I could focus on logic. Struggling would only make it worse faster. “Can’t imagine why.”

For the longest moment, it didn’t respond. Finally, it lowered my arm and reached behind us to grab a towel from the couch. Tying it uncomfortably tight, it said, “He fights for control, believing that I will harm you. Contrary to what you believe, I do not do this to cause either of you pain.”

“Well, you’re not doing it for the warm fuzzies either,” I snapped, cradling my arm. “You just slit my f*cking wrist!”

“You do not understand the weight of our situation. There are multiple outcomes—only one of which is favorable to us.” The demon sank onto the couch. It leaned forward, balanced both elbows on Jax’s knees, and fixed his eyes on mine. “I will strike a deal with you. Find me the stone, and I will consider releasing the human.”

Even though I should have known better, hope swelled. It was irrational and potent, and I knew I should rein it in before it grew out of control. But I couldn’t. “You’ll give him back control?”

“I will consider it.”

Alarm bells should have been going off, flashing neon red and strongly worded warnings. Instead, all I saw was hearts and confetti. “Okay. Okay, I’ll try.”

The demon nodded and stood. “Get some rest. We’ll try a different kind of motivation in the morning.”





Chapter Five


Azirak/Jax

Silence wasn’t always an issue for me. As volatile as my life was, and with the cries of those I’d hurt echoing through my brain on repeat ten thousand times a day, I’d never had a chance to feel truly disconnected. But since the demon had taken over, the extended periods of nothingness had started to wear on me.

The demon might not have needed sleep, but my body did. Each time it drifted off, I ended up here—the white room. It was a weird place, even by my standards. Stark ghost walls were covered in framed pictures of Sam. Well, half of the walls. The room had an invisible line. The half I was on—the one I couldn’t seem to leave—had the pictures. Everything from our lives together growing up, to moments I’d spied after leaving Harlow, occasionally looking in on her life in secret. Once in a while I’d notice a new picture on the wall, a snapshot from something that happened after Azi took control. Those were different from the others. Encased in a black frame with cracked glass, they had an odd shimmer to them, like the canvas was dusted in super fine glitter.