Released (Devil's Blaze MC #3)(42)

“I don’t believe that.”

“Are you really over all of the anger you have towards me? That day in the hotel, and then the plane ride home… No one talked to me. There was so much anger inside of you. You threatened to take my daughter from me. Am I just supposed to believe you’ve let all of that go, Skull? For no reason?”

“I believe we proved that there’s still something between us that day in the cabin,” I grumble, not wanting to be reminded of the pain between us.

“My sister once told me that sex is just sex, an elemental need that proves we’re alive.”

“Well, she’s right and she’s wrong,” I tell her, watching her closely. “Sex is natural, and when two people are attracted to each other, it’s good… or can be. But until you, Beth, it never involved more than my dick. When you have feelings for someone, it changes the ballgame, querida.”

“Maybe someday I’ll be able to tell the difference,” she says with a sad sigh, and I freeze. What the f*ck? What does she think I’m doing here? Mierda! I know I’ve been going slow, but she has to know what I have on my mind here.

“That is not f*cking happening,” I growl, and it’s a growl. Fuck, it’s a growl that might rival a bear. What the hell does she think we’re doing here?

She turns towards me. “Skull…”

“Do not ‘Skull’ me. Do not try feeding me some bullshit about how that day in the cabin was a mistake. Do not tell me how we need to be friends for Gabby’s sake. Jesucristo! What the hell do you think we’ve been doing for the last week, Beth?”

Her eyes go wide. Could she really be this clueless?

“Becoming friends?” she whispers.

Friends? Fuck me.

“I’ve got friends. I don’t see me taking Torch out every night, fixing him dinner, and trying to get him to talk to me,” I tell her, sounding like a pouting child because, hell, how can she not know what has been going on here?

“Well, if you spent that much time with Torch, you’d probably kill each other,” she says with a smile.

“Cute, querida, but I’m being serious here. You cannot tell me that you didn’t know that I want more from you, from us.”

“Skull, what happened in that cabin was—”

“Fucking phenomenal.”

“It doesn’t change the fact that barely two weeks ago, you hated to even look at me. It doesn’t change the fact that a week ago, you had another woman in your bed, and it doesn’t change the fact that the past will always be between us.”

I take a breath, rubbing the back of my neck. Hell, why do women have to complicate shit?

“I was angry at you,” I start, the words lodging in my throat.

“You’re still angry with me, Skull. You might be trying to hide it, but it’s still there.”

“What do you want me to say, Beth? Do you want me to tell you that it didn’t rip my heart out to think you were dead? Do you want me to tell you that I thought about swallowing a bullet when I thought I had killed you? Do you want me to tell you that when I found out over two years later that you were not only alive, but that you had my child out there somewhere, that I didn’t want to…?”

“Want to what, Skull? See, now you’re being honest! Stop hiding behind whatever this is and tell me. Stop hiding from me!” she insists, and she doesn’t know what she’s asking. If I let this anger out, this monster that keeps clawing its way to the surface, I’m not sure either of us will survive.

“Beth,” I start, my voice hoarse.

“Give me the truth, Skull. You want to put the past behind us? Then let’s get it all out. Let’s finally have it out,” she insists.

Shit…





I hope I know what I’m doing. I just can’t take this nice Skull. It’s good, getting to know him all over again and spending time with him. That’s all great. But he’s not the man I fell in love with. He’s trying to be someone else, and it’s driving me crazy. Worse… I don’t know why he’s trying.

He gets up, raking his hands through his hair, then walks towards the lake, giving me his back. I stay where I’m at, afraid to move.

“Beth. Fuck, I don’t want to do this.” He turns around and there’s anguish all over his face. I hate it. I despise it because, I played a part in putting it there. “Why can’t we just go forward?”

I swallow. “Skull…”

“You want the truth?” he asks, and at this point, I’m not sure, but instinctively I know I have to hear it.

“Tell me,” I whisper, wondering if he can tell how hoarse my voice is, if he can hear the fear contained in it.

“Losing you destroyed me. It felt like someone cut my motherf*cking heart out. I wanted to swallow a f*cking bullet and follow you. Jesus Christ, there were so many nights I almost did, but I just couldn’t make myself pull the trigger! I was weak and couldn’t just… end it.”

I thought I was prepared. I wasn’t. To picture him holding a gun even thinking about taking his life… To picture this alpha male, who is so larger than life, being that low… knowing it was my fault… it kills me. I feel the tears leaking from my eyes. I can’t stop them. My eyes are glued to Skull’s face, to the anguish so real it’s like a living thing.