Released (Devil's Blaze MC #3)(19)

“You weren’t robbed of two f*cking years with your ni?a, left thinking you killed the woman you loved!”

Torch sighs and gets up. He slaps me hard on the shoulder.

“True, brother,” he agrees. “But if you aren’t careful, it won’t be Beth robbing you of more time with your daughter and the woman you love. It will be the bastard staring back at you in the mirror.”

Having delivered that nice little dagger, he walks around me. He goes out into the hall and closes the door. When he’s gone, I’m left… alone. Alone as I have been for years. I tear the clock down off the wall beside me and slam it into the wall across the room. It explodes on impact and shatters into a hundred pieces. That does nothing to make me feel better. Nothing.

Time to visit Pistol.





“What did you tell him, Katie?!” I yell when Sabre leaves the meeting and I can no longer hear. I don’t want Skull to know. I don’t… I can’t… “What did you tell him?!?”

“Beth, calm down. You didn’t do anything wrong. Maybe it will be good if Skull finally knows the f*cking hell you lived through. Maybe that will help him understand!”

“No! I don’t want anyone to know! That’s mine! No one gets to know what I lived through! You had no right to tell Torch!”

“I had every right! He’s my man! This shit didn’t just happen to you. It happened to me too, and it happened for a hell of a lot longer! I get to share that with Torch. I need to share that with Torch. Sometimes, it gets to me so much that it f*cking chokes me at night. I can’t keep it in any longer! It’s destroying me!” she cries and I close my eyes.

“We’ll leave and let you guys talk about things. Do you want to meet later tonight? Sabre and Latch tell me we’re staying at the club for the next few days while they try and take care of any threats. So we’ll all be here,” Annie whispers.

“That’d be good. We can meet in the game room in the basement. We’ll tell them we’re planning for my bachelorette party again. About nine tonight?” Katie says, her voice broken.

When everyone has finally gone, I sink to the floor, wrapping my arms around my legs. I refuse to give in to the tears. I’ve done too much of that. I look at Katie. I know she can see the tears gathered in my eyes because I see them in hers.

“I don’t want Skull to know.”

“Maybe if he knew…”

“It would what? Magically erase all the hateful words? The fact that I kept his child from him? The fact that he sleeps with another woman now? There’s no going back, Katie. It’s much too late.”

“You’re scared,” she says and I don’t bother denying it. “Is that why you didn’t want to push when you first got the pictures of Skull in the hospital? Are you afraid to show him, Beth?”

“You’ve seen Dr. Torres and Nicole. You saw the girl in the picture, Katie.”

“So? They can’t hold a candle to you, Beth. Besides, it wouldn’t matter, not if Skull loves you. Torch didn’t even blink at my scars. Not once.”

“He might have loved the Beth he knew, but it’s been too long. And we both know we might have the same scars on the inside, but on the outside…”

“If they bother you that much, why don’t you see a surgeon?”

“Money? Time away from Gabby? Fear? Pick a reason, any reason.”

“So we’re really going to go through with this? We’re going to kill Matthew?”

“I’m going to. For you, for me… for Gabby and…”

“Our real mother,” she whispers.

“For her,” I whisper. We just stare at each other for what seems like hours, but in reality is just minutes. Each of us lost in our own thoughts and what might have been… if things had only been different.

If only…





Tortured. Worse than rape. Nightmares.

I’m slamming my fist into the meat slab that hangs from the hook suspended from the ceiling. I’m zoned out, completely in my own head as Torch’s words play over and over. I want to march into Beth’s room and demand that she tell me exactly what the f*ck went on while she was gone. Doing that feels like being weak. It feels like opening myself up to the woman who turned her back on me.

Everything Torch said was valid. I can’t even deny it. I’m left in the end with the same question I always have. The same question I always come back to.

Why couldn’t she choose me?

It’s selfish and, in her position, I most likely would have chosen the same path… except I would have come back to her. Nothing would have stopped me from finding my way back. Especially photos or some damned recording.

“Let me die,” a fading voice pleads, pulling me out of my head. I look up and see Pistol and even I wince. Joder. I may have gone too far this time. I may not have a choice but to grant him his wish.

“I’ll call the doctor to come knock you out,” I mumble. It’s more than he f*cking deserves. I’ll have her give enough to make sure he doesn’t wake up again.

“I have…a…sis…sister,” he manages to say. I stop. Does he think he’ll gain sympathy from me after all of his betrayals?

“Why do I care? You took from me the thing that is most important above all. You planned to…”