Released (Caged #3)(41)

They moved quickly out of the house as Tria came over and sat beside me. Before she could start into me, I leaned over and wrapped myself around her.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I said.

“Okay,” Tria replied. “We won’t.”

With my head tucked between Tria’s shoulder and neck, I tightened my arms around her and tried to push all the thoughts from my head. I didn’t want them there, but they seemed perfectly happy to march around in my brain and smash all the pretty flowers denial had planted.

Tria said nothing. She just trailed her fingers through my hair as I coiled against her. It was only a minute or two before the silence became too much.

“I hate that bitch.” I growled into Tria’s skin. I increased my grip and tried to push myself inside of her. It didn’t work, but it was warm.

“She can’t have been that bad,” Tria said. “You’re just overwhelmed. It’s okay. Today had to be the hardest part, right? I mean, the first day would be difficult—you don’t know each other, and you’re starting from scratch.”

“It’s the only part,” I replied. “I’m not going back.”

“Liam…”

“No,” I said. “I just want to stay here…with you…just like this.”

I closed my eyes and took a long, deep breath. Enveloped in her scent, I felt myself finally relax for the first time since I left the house with Damon. At least I wasn’t shaking anymore.

Tria placed her hand on the side of my face, and I turned slightly to press my lips into her palm. When I looked up, her eyes were sad. I reached up and ran a finger over her cheek.

“Don’t look like that,” I said quietly. “It just…it didn’t work out. I’ll try something else.”

“You have to try it more than once,” Tria said.

I growled in response.

“You need it,” she insisted. “You have to give her a couple of chances before you decide she isn’t going to work out. If you give it a real try, and you still hate her, we’ll find someone else.”

“You’d hate her,” I said.

“I don’t think I would hate her.”

“She’s really pretty.” I knew I was probably treading on dangerously thin ice, but there were very few things in the world I wanted less at that moment than to go back into that woman’s office again. “Long, blonde hair and all sexy and shit.”

Tria shoved me back a bit, stood, and walked partway across the room.

“You’re trying to do what now? Make me jealous of your therapist? Seriously?”

“As far as I’m concerned, she’s my ex-therapist!”

“Liam, just cut it out, okay?” Tria crossed her arms as she looked at me. “You agreed to do this—to really try. You can’t back out just because the very first time sucked. It’s going to suck—you knew that already. It has to happen.”

She turned away from me, and I knew there wasn’t much of anything I could say to make her change her mind.

Or was there?

“I almost f*cked her, you know.”

As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I regretted them, but I couldn’t take them back. I looked out the patio door to the large brick-lined area right behind the house. The intricate pattern looked like a star whose northern ray pointed to a large grill and a stone bar. I kept my focus outside as I watched Tria in my peripheral vision.

“Are you just saying that to piss me off?” Tria eventually responded.

“Pretty much,” I replied with a shrug. I decided it wasn’t such a bad thing to bring up, all things considered. I mean, Tria ought to know, right?

I tried to convince myself it was in the spirit of disclosure, but I really just wanted a good reason not to go back to that f*cking office ever again, and Tria telling me I couldn’t was as good an option as any. I was willing to try something a lot more drastic if needed.

“It’s working.” She let out a long sigh before dropping down onto the couch next to me. “I don’t think it would be very professional for a therapist to treat you after…after that.”

“That’s what she said.”

“Liam,” Tria sighed again.

I didn’t respond.

“Liam?”

When I still didn’t respond, she grabbed my arm and tried to turn me to look at her.

“Did you…?”

“I said almost,” I reminded her.

Tria went still and silent for a moment as she glared at me. I looked down at my hands and twisted my fingers around each other.

“You’re serious,” she said. “When was this?”

I looked over and realized she feared the worst.

“Long before you ever moved in with me,” I said.

She huffed a breath out her nose.

“What?” I asked.

“I’m trying to decide if I can believe you,” she said honestly.

I rolled my eyes at her.

“At this point, do you really think there is anything I’d bother to lie to you about? You’ve seen my worst. I don’t think there’s much point in hiding anything else.”

“I can’t argue with you there,” Tria admitted.