Refugee (The Captive #3)(64)

His eyes never left hers as his lips nestled in the crook of her elbow. Though she knew she should tell him to stop she couldn’t break the eye contact, the intimacy of the moment. This was one of the things that she wasn’t supposed to let happen but even as she thought that, her body screamed for more. They both deserved this time alone and she was going to enjoy it for just a few minutes more.

He lifted his head from her elbow, his hand wrapped around the back of her neck as he pulled her closer. He held her against him, his lips just barely brushing hers. She was frightened her heart might explode in her chest as it quickened in anticipation. And then, just when she thought she couldn’t take anymore, when she thought she was going to scream in frustration, he kissed her.

Solace swept through her, her fingers entwined in the hair at the nape of his neck, she pressed closer to him as the suffering within her finally eased. Every nerve ending she had lit with fire, she was consumed by the flames he ignited in her. He moved her, shifting her in his lap so that she was straddling him, her legs wrapped around his waist. His hand moved steadily up her back, maneuvering under her shirt to press flat against her skin. She moaned at the glorious wonder of him.

She hadn’t realized how much she needed this, how much she missed his touch. How starved her body had been until now. And now he was feeding her starved soul as his tongue became more demanding. Aria lost herself to his urgency. She recognized the fervent, almost desperate need within him. She desired him, but she realized now that her own craving was nowhere near as intense or acute as his. He would completely devour her and at the moment she didn’t care if he did.

And then he was lifting her, pushing her back as she fell into the soft leaves. Her shirt was slipping away, gone beneath the expert movement of his hands. She loved the feel of him over her, the weight of his body against hers, the muscles that flexed and bunched beneath her touch. His hand was firm against the thin slip that was all that kept her covered. She pressed closer to him as he shifted, briefly leveling himself off of her.

Then his hand found the button of her pants. She froze, her breath trapped in anticipation as her eyes fluttered open. He was watching her, his eyes dark and hazy with passion. He kissed her again, his mouth firm against hers, his tongue hot and heavy as he slid the button of her pants free.

Panic tore through her as reality crashed into place. She was nearly half naked, already swept up within him and more than willing to give herself to him. She yearned to ease the frustration and need that poured from him. The only thing he truly craved was her, and it was the one thing she couldn’t give to him. If she didn’t stop this now, she never would.

“Wait!” she gasped.

He froze against her, his hand pressed flat to her lower belly as he lifted his head to look at her. “Arianna?” The word was a low, anguished groan.

“I… I…” she couldn’t get words out.

“Do you want me to stop?”

No, she didn’t want him to stop. Her body was screaming for this! She needed this almost as badly as she needed air. She ached with every fiber of her being, she wanted this more than she had ever wanted anything and she couldn’t have it. For a moment she almost broke and told him everything. She was ready to pour her heart and soul out to him, but she somehow managed to bite the words back.

She knew Braith would do everything he could for the people he would lead, but he wouldn’t put them ahead of her. He believed in duty and honor but he’d made it abundantly clear to her, and those closest to them, that she was his priority. She loved him for it but it didn’t help the people whose hope was placed in his ability to lead.

“I just… I don’t know…” His hand slid away from her and she immediately felt a profound sense of loss. Her hands clenched around his neck unwilling to completely break their connection.

“You’re not ready.” She was ready, she was unbelievably ready. She was in love with a man that would die for her. There was nothing that she wanted more than to experience this moment with him. “It’s ok.” He kissed her nose, her cheek then her lips ever so lightly. “I’ll be here waiting when you are.”

Tears burned her eyes. She had never hated herself more than she did at that moment. “I love you. I’ll always love you.”

His fingers caressed her face. “I hope so, because you’re stuck with me.” Nope, now she hated herself more, especially as she forced a smile to her lips. She didn’t ask him why he took this so well, why he didn’t become impatient with her. She already knew the answer to that: he loved her. “How about a swim? I could use a dip in something cold.”

His halfhearted smile melted her heart. She wanted to finish what they had started. She wanted to say to hell with Jack, and Gideon, and everyone else. She wanted to be selfish, she wanted this for them, and she wanted to finally ease the needs of her body and his, to possess him in every way possible. Finally know only the things that he could teach her. But then she thought of Max and knew that she would never do, or know, any of those things. There were others out there in need of help, others that had no one to rescue them as she and Max had been rescued.

She threaded her fingers through his and pressed them close against her chest, over the heart that would always belong to him. “That sounds good,” she murmured.

He climbed to his feet; she hesitated for a moment, ashamed of herself, but determined to see this course through. “Aria?”