Redeeming You (Before You #2)(48)
“Screw you,” Cam said, but without heat because no one knew better than him how pathetic and tortured his thoughts had become over the past six months. Before Taylor walked into his life, he could hardly live in his own head any longer. Sure, temporary relief from his nonstop misery could be found in a bottle or another faceless woman, but he hated himself even more the next morning. It was a vicious cycle, one that he’d never repeat. He had learned his lesson.
The elevator doors opened and Alec turned toward him. “Don’t break her or I will kick your ass.”
“I’ll be begging you to kick my ass if I hurt her.”
Alec stepped into the lobby. “I’m glad we’re on the same page.”
“So you’re good with everything?” Cam said, sliding on his sunglasses and pulling the hood of his dark green sweatshirt over his head. He didn’t want to be recognized. It took too much time to deal with the autographs and he wanted to fix the issues at the venue, put the final touches on his surprise for Taylor and spend some quality time with her before their performance tonight. Five minutes away from her and he already missed her.
“If you’re asking my permission to sleep with my sister, you’ll never get it—not in this lifetime.” Alec pulled his black and white trucker cap down low over his eyes.
“I’ll settle for Taylor’s permission. You’re not the one sharing my bed.”
“Thank the f*ck for that.”
***
Taylor quietly closed the door to the hotel room she shared with Cam, hoping he wouldn’t realize she heard the end of his conversation with Alec. She needed to think before she acted and she didn’t want an audience either.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Inhale.
Exhale.
When the urge to run after Cam and confront him subsided, she slid to the floor, her back against the door and her head resting against her knees.
He still loved Bre. He’d always love Bre. What the f*ck was wrong with her? She knew Cam loved Bre when she took this job. She knew it when his lips first touched hers. She knew every single day since, but apparently she didn’t want to grasp what that meant for her until now when it was inadvertently thrown in her face. And it f*cking hurt.
He loved Bre and that wouldn’t change regardless of what she did. Only Cam could decide when he wanted to move on and she thought he had. Evidently, she was wrong.
Where did that leave her relationship with Cam? He said they were in a relationship. Did he mean a friends with benefits relationship? Even if it was more than that, she didn’t want to be a second-rate replacement for Bre in his mind. He finally accepted he couldn’t have Bre so he’d settle for her…for now. No way. She wouldn’t do that, not when she had serious love-like feelings for him.
She went to bed last night, satiated and soothed by his touch. Life was good. Five days until the tour ended and they didn’t have to hide their relationship any longer, but somewhere over the past month, she obviously missed his cues. She thought they were on the same page, but in reality, he didn’t want her like she wanted him and she couldn’t even be mad at him.
Over the past couple weeks, he’d been kind, considerate, affectionate, and everything she’d ever wanted in a man if she had bothered to make a list with the exception of one thing—love her. She could kick, scream and throw a tantrum, but she couldn’t hate him for not loving her or reciprocating her feelings. It wouldn’t be fair. She couldn’t expect him to control his heart, and, unfortunately, his heart told him he still loved Bre.
Now, the ball was in her court. She could either accept what he offered, knowing it would never be what she wanted it to be or she could walk away and hope her feelings for Cam eventually faded with time and distance. Just the thought of either of those options caused her heart to drop to her stomach.
Standing up, she walked to the bathroom to get ready for the concert tonight. She’d give herself five days to decide. She could go with Cam after the tour or maybe she’d move back in with Evelyn in her old room. Evelyn texted her last week saying the room was still open and Natalie had moved out of the building. Miles never had to know that she was back, and if he did find out, she’d find a way to keep him out of her life. In Seattle she had job leads, ones that didn’t involve using her brother’s name. And even though she swore she’d never go back, she didn’t know if she could handle being Cam’s second choice either.
Before stepping into the shower, she sent Evelyn a text.
Taylor: Chasing Ruin will be in Seattle in five days. If you want to go, I’ll leave you a ticket at will call.
Evelyn texted her before she could set the phone down on the bathroom counter.
Evelyn: Will I be sitting with you?
Taylor smiled.
Taylor: No. I have to work during the show. I’ll leave a backstage pass for you too.
It wasn’t the truth. The guys would let her sit where she wanted during the show, but if she decided to walk away from Cam in five days, she wanted to watch Cam from backstage one more time and drink him into her soul before cutting all ties with him.
Evelyn: Can you leave two tickets/backstage passes? Please. You owe me. :)
Taylor: Sure, but only because I owe you…otherwise you’d be SOL.