Reckless Temptations (Tempted #4)(108)

I blinked, tears escaping the corners of my eyes but I didn’t take my hands out of the incubator to dry my eyes. I wanted to touch him for as long as I could, to comfort him. I wonder if he realizes I’m here. Does he recognize my voice? Probably not.

“Do you have a name picked out for him?”

I turned my gaze to the nurse and shook my head.

“No, but I bet his mom does,” I said, turning back to glance at my boy. “I’m sure it’s a good, solid name, perfect for you.”

I pictured Kitten holding our son for the first time, looking up at me and telling me what the name she chose for him was but then another thought invaded my mind.

What if she doesn’t make it?

What if she doesn’t get to meet our son?

What if he doesn’t get to know what a great mom he has?

What if she never gets to tell us what his name is?

I felt myself teetering on the edge, ready to lose it and succumb to the grief of it all. The grief of losing Bones, of not knowing if Lauren will live or die and standing here watching as a machine breathes for my newborn child.

And then the most amazing thing happened.

A tiny hand wrapped around my finger.

I stared at my son’s hand, his small fingers wrapped around my index finger and I was undone.

I thought I had the perfect life, that I had everything I wanted and wasn’t missing anything. But it wasn’t until that moment, when my son held onto me that, I realized I didn’t know the meaning of life…until him. Kitten and Tiger may have given this boy life, but he gave me a reason to live mine.

Heart.

It was right there, three pounds one ounce of the purest love I’d ever know.

Thank you.

“Oh, kid, you’re already wrapped around my finger, but thank you,” I whispered. “I love you, Pea,” I whispered.

A knock on the glass window startled me, pulling me away from the most precious gift I had ever received and when I glanced over my shoulder my eyes met Anthony’s. His eyes dropped to the incubator before they closed briefly then finally lifted back to mine.

He crooked his finger and I read his lips as he uttered the name that made my world stop for just a second.

Lauren.





Chapter Thirty-Eight





Anthony filled me in as we walked toward the elevators, riding it up to the twelfth floor where they were moving Lauren to an ICU recovery room. She survived surgery but her body was in a state of shock. The doctors were able to stop the bleeding and remove the bullet that missed her heart but nicked her lung, causing it to collapse. Once they had the bullet out they had to repair the damage to her lung which was why the surgery took longer than the doctors had anticipated.

She was unconscious, and like her son, she was on a respirator because her lung function was too weak. The next twenty-four to forty-eight hours would be critical for her. As we stepped off the elevator Anthony became quiet, causing me to turn around and look at him.

“What is it?”

“The doctor said if the two bullets Bones took had hit her, she would’ve died on the spot,” he said, lifting his eyes to mine. “I don’t know him but I’ll always be thankful to him,” he said, sighing heavily.

“Yeah, that makes two of us.” I said somberly.

“How’s my nephew?”

“He’s tiny but he’s going to make it. I know he is. That kid wrapped his finger around my hand, and as small and fragile as he is, he has some grip,” I replied, proudly glancing around the intensive care unit. “Where is she? I need to see her,” I demanded.

Anthony led me around the nurse’s station, stopping in front of a large glass wall. I spotted Maria first and then I let my eyes travel to Lauren. Again, I wasn’t prepared to see her like that, hooked up to several machines, lying perfectly still as the life support kept her breathing.

Maria lifted her head, made the sign of the cross, before turning around and meeting our worried gazes. She rose to her feet, bending her head to kiss her daughter’s hand before slipping out of the room. Before she could ask me any questions, I brushed past her and walked into the room, sliding the glass door closed behind me.

I stood there, my feet firmly planted on the floor as I stared at my Kitten. The sound of the machines she was hooked up to was the only noise in the room, reminding me they were keeping her here with me. Finding the courage inside of me, I moved to the side of her bed and looked at her beautiful face. I would do anything to see her smile at me, hell, she didn’t even have to smile. She just needed to open those beautiful blue eyes and I’d even welcome a snarl, or one of her snarky remarks.

I just needed to know my Kitten was going to be okay.

I tore my eyes away from the tube that ran all the way down her throat and stuck out between her lips and looked at the machine and the slinky looking thing compressing the air into her lungs.

I pulled the chair closer to the bed and sank into it as I leaned over the bed and reached for Lauren’s hand, careful not to disturb any of the wires as I interlocked my fingers with hers.

“Hey, Kitten,” I whispered, as I looked up at her, trying to make sense of all the things going on in my head, all the things I knew I needed to say, all the things I felt down in my soul.

“I’m so sorry it came down to this,” I began, hoarsely. “I’m so sorry you’re lying in this bed and not me. Every move I made, every attempt to push you out of my life was to prevent you from being exactly where you are. I thought by staying away from you I was protecting you but all I did was waste time, time I could’ve spent showing you how much I wanted you. How goddamn grateful I was that you came into my life and how excited I was for you to make me a dad. I thought the best title I’d ever hold was being one of the Satan’s Knights but it pales in comparison to being Pea’s dad. That’s the best title, the only one worth a damn,” I expressed, pausing as I brought her hand up to my lips and kissed her knuckles.