Rebellion (The 100 #4)(36)
“Let him go right now,” Clarke said in a voice that made Felix jump.
The restraints in place, Cooper was able to hold Bellamy on his own, allowing Paul to turn to Clarke. “It’s okay, Clarke. We’re just going to wait until he calms down and sees reason. Then we’ll let him go.”
Clarke turned to Bellamy, to make it clear that she wasn’t going to stand for this mutiny. But when their eyes locked, she didn’t recognize the person facing her. He was looking at her with such fury that a wave of fear rippled through her. No. They couldn’t let him loose in this condition. He’d get himself killed, and bring everyone else down with him. Wells and Octavia included. They had to get him to see reason, even if it meant doing something unforgivable.
“I’m sorry.” The words burned as they left her throat, and she turned away, her heart cracking under the weight of her shame.
Bellamy fell into a stony silence as they led him past Clarke. She froze, waiting for his eyes to reach hers, sharp with accusation—but they didn’t even graze her.
As if he couldn’t even bear to look at her.
CHAPTER 18
Bellamy
The hours crept by painfully, and Bellamy sat in silence. Eventually, the sun went down. With no fire and no lantern, Bellamy’s eyes had had time to adjust to the dark. He saw the night birds swooping on their way to search for prey. He saw bugs scuttling past in the soil. And in the near distance, he saw the path the raiders had cut through the forest with their wagons, dragging his family and friends with them.
He’d never felt so alone in his entire life.
He’d been secured to one of the metal beams and his back ached against it. His breathing had gotten slower at least, since that first wave of pure panic had passed. He’d stopped shaking and sweating and his heart no longer felt as if it was about to explode inside his chest.
But he wasn’t okay. He was never going to be okay again.
Bellamy shifted his weight, feeling the cuffs cutting into his wrists once again. They hurt, but nothing stung like the memory of Clarke standing by as her new buddy Paul dragged Bellamy away.
A twig cracked and Bellamy’s back stiffened. He sensed her before he saw her.
“Bellamy,” Clarke said softly. “Are you okay? I brought you some food.” She took a few hesitant steps, as though she were approaching a wounded animal, and crouched, leaning forward to place her hand on his arm.
Bellamy recoiled, wrenching himself as far from her as possible. “Don’t you dare touch me.”
“I just wanted to take off the restraints so you could eat,” she said, her voice shaking. She drew her hand back and watched him for a moment, settling into the dirt a few feet away. “I’m sorry things got… out of hand today.”
“Out of hand?” he repeated, feeling rage boil up inside again. “You stood there while Paul staged a coup. But it’s okay, I get it. He’s more useful to you now than I am.”
Her brow furrowed. “What are you talking about?”
“Let’s see,” he said, pretending to be deep in thought. “First you dated the Chancellor’s son, which I don’t blame you for. Always a good idea to aim high when you can. But then Wells wasn’t very popular on Earth at first, was he?” He made an exaggerated grimace. “I wasn’t very popular either, but I could hunt, so I guess it was a smart trade. You knew you wouldn’t starve. Temporary, though. You hardly expected to spend the rest of your life with a piece of Walden trash like me. And then, here comes Paul, with his officer training and his smooth-talking, ass-kissing charm, and you realized that it was time to upgrade again.”
Clarke’s mouth fell open as she stared at him with a combination of shock and disgust. After a long moment, her eyes narrowed and she spoke. “You see, this is why we don’t want you part of the negotiations tomorrow. You let your temper take over, and then you start to believe your own crazy stories. It’s dangerous.”
Bellamy scoffed. “Yeah? So tell me. What’s your big plan for tomorrow?”
She raised her chin. “I’m going to approach the entrance holding a white flag. We’re not sure whether they have that custom, but it’s worth a try. And I’ll ask to speak to their leader to negotiate the terms of release.”
Her words knocked the anger from his chest. “What? No, Clarke, you can’t. They’ll shoot you before you even have a chance to open your mouth.”
Clarke crossed her arms over her chest. “It’s our only option. We don’t have the weapons to make a strategic attack—”
“We can use their weapons. I told you!” A note of desperation crept into his voice. The hurt and fury he’d felt was gone, replaced by cold dread. He couldn’t let her do this.
“And I told you. We can’t blow up part of the building. Not when we have no idea where the prisoners are being kept.”
“Clarke, please…” His voice cracked. “Don’t do it. After everything… if I lose you too…”
She raised her chin, eyes blazing. “When are you finally going to understand? Just because you love someone, it doesn’t give you the moral right to do something unreasonable. We’re all scared. We’re all in pain. But we have to be rational.”
Her exaggerated calmness reignited the smoldering anger. She was treating him like one of her patients in the psychiatric unit on the ship. Like he was too delusional to understand what was really going on. No matter what, she’d always see him as some hotheaded fool who stormed into situations and made everything worse. He wasn’t going to let her make him feel that way.