Ramsey Security (Ramsey Security #1-3)(38)

Sitting on the couch, I give myself a pep talk. I only ran from Mister Pain less than two months ago, meaning I have every right to be weird. I'm not the problem. Troy's unfair expectations are the problem. I'm not strong like Minka or hard like Saskia. I'm me, and I need more time than Troy seems willing to give me.

"You were jealous," I mutter, as he sits nearby.

"It happens."

"I don't get jealous of you and Minka."

"Because you're a very mature person."

"I am confused about you and her but never jealous."

"Confused about what?"

"She and I are nothing alike. You clearly don't have a type, but I can't see how you wanted her, and now you want me."

"You and Minka are both beautiful and strong."

"I'm not strong like her."

"You're seeing the superficial things. Inside, you're both strong."

Frowning, I clasp my hands tightly. "Minka said she dumped you. Do you miss her?"

"How can I miss her when I see her nearly every day?"

"You know what I mean."

His blue eyes amused, Troy scoots closer. "No, I don't miss her. We weren't in love. I care for her like a sister. I know that sounds bizarre since we were lovers. She's my closest friend, but that doesn't mean I was ever in love with her."

"Then why did she dump you instead of you dumping her?"

"Let me ask you something. Does Minka seem like the kind of woman a man dumps if he wants to remain in one piece?"

"You're scared of her?"

"Of course. She's mean. Oh, and she cheats in fights."

Troy is teasing me, but I refuse to smile. "It kinda seems like you wanted Minka because she was right there. Now you want me for the same reason. You pick women out of convenience."

"Huh? Interesting. Why do you like me then? Aren't I the only single man you've encountered since escaping Locke?"

"For your information, I would have thought you were handsome no matter how we met. You are exactly my type. I like big blond jerks with sexy smiles."

Standing up, a smiling Troy holds his arms out. "Anything else you like about me?" he asks, turning around and wiggling his ass for effect.

I refuse to smile at his display. "I like how you can be gentle. You're funny too. I like the way you look at me, and you make great omelets."

Troy grins at my answer.

"Then again, maybe I'm assuming too much about this situation. Everything we feel is convenience and coincidence. In fact, I bet my therapist would say I only want you because you represent safety. None of it's real."

"If your therapist thinks that shit, I guess it's a good thing we didn't see her," Troy says, kneeling down in front of me. He takes my hands and kisses the palms. "Coincidence and convenience are how everyone gets together, Darla. Manny met his wife at a wedding. Rafael met his wife during a run through the woods. Tia met her girlfriend while working in the same office. My parents met in high school. People can only date the people they meet. We met, and I felt a connection. You did too. Stop analyzing things until they become meaningless. That's your shrink's job."

I cross my arms, pushing up my tits. Realizing I don't want him looking at my body, I uncross my arms.

"I feel restless."

"You need to relax," he says, gripping my hips before running his fingers down my thighs.

"A pill would help me relax."

Temper rising, I challenge Troy, who knows I want him to back off. Yet his fingers tease the curves of my knees.

"I never needed Minka," he says softly like how the cop spoke to me. "I never got jealous of her flirting with other guys. She was doing it for the job, but I didn't care either way. I always knew she wasn't in love with me. Even so, some part of me should have cared about her smiling for other men."

The anger in my heart falters as his words penetrate.

"I wanted to kill that cop for thinking he could talk to you like that," he admits.

"He was only asking what happened."

"Don't be naive," he mutters. "You know when men are flirting with you. You feel it in your gut when you're being hunted."

"I felt it with you."

Troy holds my gaze, challenging me back. "I feel no shame in wanting you."

"I'm fragile," I nearly growl, and he finally realizes why I'm pissed.

"No, you're sick like someone after a bad flu. You're feeling stronger every day, but the sickness wore you down. You're not weak, even if you think that would be easier."

When I push away his hands, Troy only smiles. "I understand you want to hide. I was in a cage for only two weeks, but I spent two months getting over the trapped feeling. I drank so much I can't remember much from that time. I f*cked anything that walked and started fights with anyone who looked at me the wrong way. I'm lucky I didn't catch anything or end up in a shallow grave."

Sighing loudly, I release much of my anger. My fingers caress the hard stubble on his cheek, and I shiver as my body responds to his nearness. My nipples harden against my shirt, so I cross my arms again.

"Locke didn't break you," Troy whispers. "He banged you up, but you survived."