Quintessentially Q (Monsters in the Dark #2)(62)

Frederick muttered, “I’m not going anywhere. I want to see you tear this bastard limb from f*cking limb.”

My soul burned with the urge to kill. No ounce of humanity existed—tonight it was all about death.

I’m coming for you, you bastard.

And I’d make damn sure he’d f*cking cry before I was through.





Save me, enslave me, you will never cave me.

Taunt me, flaunt me, kill what haunts me…



Two days? A week? A month? A Year?

I no longer knew how long I existed in this hell.

It no longer mattered as my body was broken, my mind unrepairable.

I existed in turmoil and grief. I lost weight as I no longer ate. My bones stuck out in stark relief and my mouth was always desiccated. The drugs never granted me a moment’s peace—taking me from a monstrous reality to a nightmare encrusted subconscious. The fog, the smog, kept me from realizing just how close I was to the end.

Leather Jacket kept taunting me—making me hurt the two blonde women until I obeyed without question. If I didn’t hit them, he did.

If I didn’t wallop them with the baseball bat, he did.

If I broke down and cried, he hit them harder, breaking a bone or drawing blood.

I wallowed in drugs and apologized and cried. He laughed and prodded and thrilled to hurt.

He made me hate myself for being alive. He made me doubt everything that I was and all the good things I thought I’d been. There was nothing left.

Who could love me when I was a devil’s protégé?

My mind tortured me with visions of a happier place: of Q’s bed, Suzette’s laugh, and warmth.

I wanted to be home. I wanted to sleep in a patch of sunlight and never be cold again. I’d never been so cold.

Sparrows visited me often in my dreams. At first they helped fly me away, taking me upward and beyond Leather Jacket’s reach, but the longer I tortured and mutilated others the more their black eyes went from condolences to hatred. Now their wings weren’t my salvation. They pecked my flesh with sharp little beaks, hopping around me like tiny vultures.

Every time my thoughts turned to Q, I shut down. The pain was insurmountable, and I couldn’t handle the hard hatred in his eyes.

“Your soul is rotten, esclave. Bound by darkness and I can no longer save you.” He leaned over me, smelling so fresh and citrusy pure. “Je ne suis plus à toi.” I’m no longer yours.

It was those words that unthreaded the rest of my ragged mind. I was no longer Q’s. I was unbelonging once again and instead of old hurt, all I felt was relief. Relief because soon, I wouldn’t exist. Soon I would die, and then I would no longer have to suffer hurting others.

Something shot me back into the present. I looked down at my shuffling feet, my arm braced in Ryan’s meaty grip.

Another block of time. Gone. Never to be recalled or remembered. What was I doing before walking?

Forcing my tongue to work, I mumbled, “Wh—where are you taking…” My strength left and I could no longer remember what I wanted to know.

My mother appeared in front of me, watching with her arms crossed as I shambled closer to her. “Look at you, child. You need a bath. You look like a homeless ragamuffin. How many times did I tell you to eat?” Her concern for my wellbeing felt nice, until she snarled. “If you are all skin and bones, what will be left for the Wolverines at dinner?”

The illusion shattered as Ryan jerked me into a room at the far end of the eternity-long corridor. “Time for your final lesson before you graduate, lovely.” He patted my head like I was his favourite pet. “I’ll miss our fun and games. Your nails are f*cking sharp. Loved watching you scratch like a baby kitten.”

I swayed on the spot, mortifyingly enjoying his petting. After so long in the dark with only freezing concrete for company it was heaven to feel the comfort of another’s hand. Even though the same hand had beaten a girl within the inch of her life.

Deep inside, I managed to find the strength to stumble away.

Leather Jacket appeared from nowhere, chuckling. “Still fighting, even after all this time, slut.” He grabbed my face and I closed my eyes. I didn’t want to see him and his piercing black gaze.

“Tessie, why did you leave me? For this? You left my kindness and respect for this? To chase a life of pain and ruin?” Brax swirled into being before me; I swallowed hard. Brax represented everything I no longer was.

He was untouched and pure and sweet, and I wasn’t worthy for him to talk to me.

“Don’t look at me! Please.” I buried my face in my hands, but Brax came forward and unpried my fingers to look into my eyes.

His sky-blue gaze rendered me helpless. “I may not understand your decisions, Tessie. But I’ll always be your friend. I’ll always be a safe haven for you.”

Leather Jacket shattered my drug-induced daydream by grabbing my hair and throwing me to the floor.

It hurt. It degraded. I didn’t care; I just lay there.

Someone threw something heavy at me. It bruised my spine before bouncing off and clattering to the floor.

I curled into a ball, wracked with shivers from whatever fever I’d caught. The coughs were getting explosive, and slowly my lungs filled with more and more liquid until I felt as if I floated in an ocean as well as fog.

“Pick it up, puta.” Leather Jacket nudged my hip with his foot. “Now. Don’t make me ask you again. You know what will happen.”