Quintessentially Q (Monsters in the Dark #2)(56)

My muscles shut down and it wasn’t the girl who threw up, it was me. I splashed Leather Jacket’s shoes with my roast chicken lunch and collapsed into the warm mess.

They’d finally done it. They’d found my weakness.

They could do what they wanted to me. Torture me. Rape me. And I would always have inner fire—the strength that drove me onward. But make me hurt and torture someone else? That was a recipe for me losing my sanity.

The recipe that would well and truly break me forever.

*****

I moaned, cringing at the crick in my back from lying on a hard pallet. I tried to move but every part of my body ached.

My knuckles were scratched and bruised. My teeth hurt from clenching. My head pounded with a never-ending headache and my side screamed from the kick Leather Jacket gave me for not obeying.

You’re turning into one of them. You hurt others. You’re becoming a devil.

I did it to protect them! I hurt them a lot less than Ogre would have done.

No excuse. You’re breaking. They’re winning.

You need to run. Run. Run. Run. Run.

I clutched my head, trying to stop the swirl of words from making me sick.

I couldn’t move, let alone run. That was an impossibility.

Hours ticked past and I couldn't sleep. My brain never granted me peace, echoing constantly with curses and blames, telling me to run even when my body could never obey. The girl’s scream lived in my ears, always ringing.

Every time I closed my eyes, Q appeared.

“How could you, Tess? You became one of them. I thought you were better than that. I thought you were pure.” He hung his head, eyes glittering with remorse. “There’s nothing left to love about you. You’re a traitor. A monster. I’m going to have to kill you.”

I ran to him, but something held me back. Some wall of air, or invisible imprisonment. “No! I’m not like that. I didn’t want to do it. I did it to save them!”

He laughed, throwing a look of such hatred, I shrank to the floor in shame. “You’re weak, Tess. So weak. I underestimated you. I saw someone fierce. Now all I see is a ruined little girl.”

“Save me then! Please. I need your help. So much.” I couldn’t stop crying.

Q shook his head. His powerful body encased in a black suit looked fit to attend a funeral. My funeral. He was saying goodbye to me.

“Q!”

He refused to make eye contact. Turning his back, he walked slowly into the swirling mist. “Goodbye, Tess.”

Q hated me. I hated me. I wanted to die.

*****

More time passed.

My cell door opened and the same woman who’d tattooed me strolled in. She moved boldly, relaxed and happy. She smiled wide, holding an uncapped syringe. “Ready for another dose, cari?o?”

I shuffled upright, cursing my heavy head. “No…pl—please, no more.” My words slurred, tripping and sliding over each other.

She perched on the edge of the bed, reaching for my arm.

I flailed around, managing to avoid her grip. “No. I said no mo—more.”

Her smile slid from her face, replaced with black anger. “Mateo!”

The door opened and in walked Jagged Scar carrying a baseball bat. He kept coming until his knees touched the end of the pallet. “Don’t make me use this.” He slapped the bat into his hand, threatening me. “Be a good employee and let Sofia give you your medicine, okay?”

His voice was so smooth compared to Leather Jacket. Always giving the impression of civility, all the while he was the worst of the lot. He was a true psychopath.

My throat closed and I twisted my unresponsive fingers in my lap. “Please. Money. Jewellery. I’ll give you…”

What was I talking about? I’m hungry. Ask for some food. I’m cold. Maybe if you take the medicine, they’ll give you a blanket.

Oh, I loved that idea. A blanket. It felt like forever since I’d been warm.

I coughed hard, gasping as my lungs struggled for breath.

Someone pushed me back until I lay down and soft fingers took my arm, spreading it flat. A gentle tap in the crook of my arm sent my heart racing. “No! Wait!”

Too late.

The needle pierced my skin and the woman pressed the plunger. Instantly hot, cold, tingling, stinging liquid entered my body and began its journey to poison me.

Compounded onto whatever else they gave me, I didn’t stand a chance.

My eyes no longer worked and I floated into darkness. My head was the weight of a twenty ton bowling ball.

I sighed, listening to the heavy glug-glug of my heartbeat. There was no other noise apart from my shallow breathing. The woman and Jagged Scar had gone.

How long ago? I didn’t know.

Now is your time to run! Get up. Do it! Freedom!

I didn’t know how I moved, but one moment I slouched on the pallet, the next I lay jumbled on the floor.

And that’s where I stayed for hours. I spent God knows how long living in a horrific circus of freakish hallucinations while I lay shivering on the freezing concrete floor.

My parents who never loved me made an appearance.

“Look at the sight of you.” My mother with her blue-rinsed hair bent to my level, tutting under her talcum powdery scent. “We always knew there was something wrong with you. But now? We’re repulsed. Doing drugs, beating up women, and indulging in rough sex? Ugh. Look how far you’ve fallen, child. Only hell is good enough for you now.”