Quintessentially Q (Monsters in the Dark #2)(27)

Turned out Tess was a furnace—the f*cking kiln and smelter who gave no choice but to buckle and melt and turn into liquid.

Steel didn’t change. It couldn’t change its molecular structure, but liquid metal…it could. Other elements could be added, minerals removed, impurities purged, until an entirely new composite existed.

That’s how I felt.

Melting, changing, evolving.

I just hoped I survived the transition.

*****

“Bonjour, Mr. Mercer. Directement au bureau?” Straight to the office?

I scowled at the chauffeur. In his penguin suit and slicked-back hair, he looked like any other member of my countless staff on call to run me around, do errands, and make sure the f*cking scary CEO of Moineau Holdings was happy.

I was never happy.

But today I was worse than normal. I was wound tight and confused, but I kept my tangled emotions hidden beneath a blank angry fa?ade. “Oui.” I smiled tightly in thanks, all the while wondering how the hell I was going to get through the day.

Ushering Tess off the helicopter and into the back of the Rolls-Royce Phantom, I tried to keep my hands soft instead of grabbing her and shaking the crap out of her. Tell me what broke! Tell me if I ruined you.

I wanted her to admit I ruined her as much as I hoped to f*ck I hadn’t. Would I ever have one thought that wasn’t schizophrenic?

Tess slid onto the side seat, looking serene and content against the beige leather. She looked around, taking in the crystal bar, the big-screen TV, the decadence of such a vehicle.

“It’s a morning full of surprises,” she whispered.

I didn’t think she meant for me to hear, but as I settled onto the backseat, I asked, “Care to tell me what the other surprises were?”

Perhaps the bit where you came undone, and it snapped so loudly, I heard it in my f*cking soul?

I kept my balled hands hidden between my legs, portraying the picture of calm and stability. When really I wanted to slap her and demand the truth.

But her entire demeanour turned languid and hard to read. She moved as if she had a delicious secret. She didn’t move like a woman I’d destroyed.

Trying to tame my rapid heartbeat, I waited for her to answer. But she shook her head and looked out the window as the chauffeur started the car and pulled away. We were on a landing pad on top of a parking garage I owned. My office was next door. The inconvenience of driving the final three minutes paid in dividends for the use of roof space.

Tess picked up a champagne flute with a sparrow flying over a skyscraper etched into the glass. She ran her thumb over the engraving, turning to look at me. “Have I told you how much I love your logo?”

My lips twitched a little. I loved it, too. It took countless days, sketching frantically when I was sixteen, trying to figure out a sigil that I would wear with pride.

Every time I saw it I sat taller, embraced the hard work I did, all because it allowed me to free so many women.

Blondes, brunettes, young, and old.

Without this company—without my success—I wouldn’t have been able to send so many home after a lifetime of torture. It wasn’t often I felt proud. A man like me with so many demons lashing at his soul could never be truly proud of the human he was, but in that moment, I let myself be content.

“I’m glad you like it.”

Suddenly, I regretted the four days with Tess I’d squandered. Instead of taking advantage of having her to myself, I’d buried myself in f*cking paperwork, avoiding her questions, her requests for connection.

I’d blocked her off emotionally because I wasn’t ready. I’m still not f*cking ready.

But now it felt like such a waste. I could’ve found out everything about her—asked her multiple questions, until I possessed every inch, every thought.

And now it was too late. I let her free. She was no longer my prisoner, secreted away in my house to whip and f*ck. She would become known by my staff. She would become a part of my business world.

My throat closed up. Sickness rolled in my stomach, and for the first time since I was a boy, I felt loss. The terror that Tess would find others better than me. That she might one day grow to hate me and share my darkest secrets with the world.

I hated myself for the thought. I could trust her.

But I didn’t, and that one confession made me worse than every other fault combined.

Tess had accepted both me and my beast. She was falling in love with me. She had a power over me that no one else had before. And I didn’t trust her.

Shit, I’m scum.

“I want to take you out to dinner tonight,” I grumbled, trying hard to battle back the darkness.

Tess’s eyes flew to mine. “Dinner? As in a date?” She laughed quietly. “It’s a bit backward, don’t you think? After you owning me and all.”

My back stiffened and the blackness billowed, welcoming me back into its embrace. “I can take you to dinner without your permission. All I need to do is starve you until you f*cking yield.” The moment the words were out of my mouth, I rubbed my face, pressing my eyes with stabbing fingertips. Goddammit.

Sucking in a heavy breath, I amended, “I never owned you. I always intended to free you. I just—I couldn’t. Not before I—” I couldn’t finish, couldn’t admit to wanting to completely destroy her before returning her to her tame little f*ckwit of a boyfriend.