Pushing the Limits (Pushing the Limits, #1)(81)

She lowered her head and hid in her hair. As she spoke, her tone reminded me of Jacob’s when he finally understood Mom would never hold him again. “This isn’t going to work. It never would have.”

“Bullshit. We belong together.” Echo sniffled and the sound tore at me. I softened my voice. “Look at me, baby. I know you love me. Three nights ago you were willing to offer everything to me. There is no way you can walk away from us.”

“God, Noah …” Her voice broke. “I’m a mess.”

A mess? “You’re beautiful.”

She finally raised her head. No tears, but the trails remained. “I’m a mental mess. In two months you’re going to face some judge and convince him that you are the best person to raise your brothers. I’m a liability.”

A nagging voice told me to shut up and listen. “Not true. My brothers will love you and you’ll love them. You are not a liability.”

“But how will the judge see me? Are you really willing to take that risk?” She swallowed. “Two months after the incident with my mom a therapist tried to reclaim the lost memories. Mrs. Collins said the person tried too hard. I cracked. I woke up in a hospital two days later with the memories still repressed. I’ve been lucky so far, but what happens to you if my luck runs out?

“Noah, look at it from an outsider’s perspective. I’m scarred with no memory of what happened to me. I’ve already had one mental breakdown because I tried to remember. My mother is bipolar. Most people who are bipolar start to exhibit the symptoms in their late teens or early twenties. What happens if the judge finds out about me? What if he discovers what a mess you’re dating?”

Breathing became a painful chore. Her lips turned down while her warm fingers caressed my cheek. That touch typically brought me to my knees, but now it cut me open.

“Did you know that when you stop being stubborn and accept I may be right on something, your eyes widen a little and you tilt your head to the side?” she asked.

I forced my head straight and narrowed my eyes. “I love you.”

She flashed her glorious smile and then it became the saddest smile in the world. “You love your brothers more. I’m okay with that. In fact, it’s one of the things I love about you. You were right the other day. I do want to be part of a family. But I’d never forgive myself if I was the reason you didn’t get yours.”

To my horror, tears pricked my eyes and my throat swelled shut. “No, you’re not pulling this sacrificial bullshit on me. I love you and you love me and we’re supposed to be together.”

Echo pressed her body to mine and her fingers clung to my hair. Water glistened in her eyes. “I love you enough to never make you choose.”

She pushed off her toes toward me, guiding my head down, and gently kissed my lips. No. This wouldn’t be goodbye. I’d fill her up and make her realize she’d always be empty without me.

I made Echo mine. My hands claimed her hair, her back. My lips claimed her mouth, her tongue. Her body shook against mine and I tasted salty wetness on her skin. She forced her lips away and I latched tighter to her. “No, baby, no,” I whispered into her hair.

She pushed her palms against my chest, then became a blur as she ran past. “I’m sorry.”





Echo

He loved me.

Noah Hutchins had told me he loved me, and that had made the past week at school absolute hell.

The bell rang. Everyone else snapped shut their books, zipped up their backpacks and left business technology for lunch. I stayed completely still.

My hand gripped my pencil as Noah walked past and left the room with his shoulders stiff and head high. He never acknowledged my presence. Isaiah, on the other hand, took his time and stared at me with sad eyes as he followed his best friend.

For seven days, this had been how Noah and I interacted. I waited for him to leave class. He bolted. I sucked in a breath, wishing the pain would stop as the room cleared out. Well, except for my best friend.

“Echo.” Lila stood in front of my desk with her books clutched to her chest. “Are you okay?”

No. Nothing would be okay ever again. “I accidentally overheard in the bathroom this morning that Lauren Lewis is going to make a move on Noah.” Tears threatened the edges of my eyes. “I shouldn’t care. I mean, I broke up with him and he can …” Sleep with whoever he wants … But I couldn’t say that because a lump formed in my throat.

“Lila,” called Stephen from the hallway, “you coming to lunch or not?”

She started to shake her head no when I answered for her, “She’s going.”

“Echo,” Lila said in reprimand.

“I’m fine.” I faked the worst smile in the world. “Maybe I’ll stop by the cafeteria today.”

I didn’t mean it. She knew that, yet she patted my hand and said, “I’ll see you there,” before taking Stephen’s hand and heading to lunch.

Tossing my stuff into my backpack, I continued to fight the urge I’d fought for seven days—to run to Noah and beg him to take me back. I’d lost not only him, but the routine I’d come to depend on: studying, tutoring, plotting to get into our files, and Isaiah and Beth working on Aires’ car. Losing Noah meant losing a life. It also meant losing my chance for answers.