Pushing Perfect(60)

We all sat silently. At this point I really had no idea. Pretty much the only person I’d never suspected was Alex, and I’d spent so long thinking it was Justin that I’d lost track of my list. Becca seemed so unlikely, as did the Brain Trust. It had to be someone I didn’t know. That would be better, anyway.

“Not sure why we’re trusting Mark at this point,” Alex said, finally. “This could all be a trick.”

“Stop it,” Justin said.

“I haven’t been able to think of anyone specific,” Raj said. “But I heard rumors that some of the kids who sold pot weren’t thrilled when I started selling pills. Maybe it was one of them, trying to get in on the pill action.”

“That would be better than finding out it was someone we knew,” I said. “Though I don’t know how much getting a picture is going to help us there.”

“We don’t know whether a picture will help with anyone,” Justin said. “But it’s all we’ve got right now.”

“I guess. You have a theory?” I asked.

“Not really,” Justin admitted. “I’ve tried not to think about it too much, to be honest. It’s not like knowing who it is will make me feel any better about what I’ve had to do.”

I wondered whether knowing that Justin felt guilty would make Alex any more sympathetic toward him. Probably not.

“How about you, Kara?” he asked. “Got any thoughts?”

I was saved from having to answer by the sound of a car coming up behind us. It was a beat-up silver SUV that had probably been nice a few years ago. The car parked two spots down from Mark.

“Here we go,” Justin said. “Lights, camera . . .”

“Don’t be an asshole,” Alex said, but she got her phone ready. We all took ours out, just in case.

The driver’s side door opened, and we saw a leg emerge. A cowboy boot, covered partly by a flowing flowered dress.

“Oh, no way,” I said. “I know who that is.”

It was like a thousand alarms started blaring at once, deafening me and making my head pound. But there were no alarms; everyone in the car had fallen silent. We all knew who it was. We finally had our answer.

Except now, of course, we had a million more questions.





23.


Ms. Davenport was clearly visible in the parking lot lighting. Our collective moment of silence didn’t last long; after that first moment of recognition, everyone started yelling at once.

“I had her for trig,” Raj shouted, while Justin and Alex started spewing curse words nearly in sync.

I felt like I was going to throw up. Mark hadn’t actually said Ms. Davenport was Blocked Sender, but it sure seemed like it. Still, maybe she was one of us. Maybe there was someone behind her. I imagined those Russian nesting dolls, layers and layers between the outer doll shell and the secret tiny doll heart. I didn’t want that heart to be Ms. Davenport. Especially since she knew even more secrets of mine than Blocked Sender had threatened to reveal. So far, at least.

“Pictures, people,” Justin said. “Let’s not forget the mission.”

Justin started snapping pictures furiously, while Alex took video. Raj and I didn’t have a clear shot, so we just watched as Mark got out of his car and walked over to Ms. Davenport. Thank goodness he knew we were there; he made sure the bottle itself was visible as he handed it to her, rather than palming it like I imagined he’d have done if he’d been alone. She didn’t seem to catch on, though; she just took it, nodded, and got back in her car.

“Did you guys get that?” I asked, hoping they couldn’t hear how shaky my voice was.

Justin scanned through his shots as Alex watched the video. “I’ve got a good one,” Justin said.

“The video’s a little grainy,” Alex said. “But it might be enough.”

“We’ve only got her getting the pills,” Raj said. “If someone watches this, they might just think she’s buying. It could get Mark in more trouble than Ms. Davenport.”

“It’s still illegal,” I said. “It’s a start.” I didn’t want to state the obvious, which was that going to the police would be terrible for Mark at this point, but Justin didn’t say anything. He must have been really mad. It wasn’t my main worry, though; I was still trying to wrap my head around the reality of what we’d just learned. How was this even possible? Ms. Davenport was a teacher. And not just any teacher. She was the one teacher I actually confided in. She knew more about me than anyone at school, including my friends.

And if she really was Blocked Sender, she’d used that knowledge against me.

I wanted so badly to believe it wasn’t her, but the more I thought about it, the clearer it seemed that it had to be. I started getting angry. Rageful, even. I’d never felt anything like it before—not when I got mad at my parents for their absurdly high expectations, not when Becca and Isabel cut me out of their lives, not even at the doctors who couldn’t do anything about my skin except to keep giving me drugs that did nothing.

I hated her. I wanted her to pay for what she’d done.

“I think we should go to the police,” I said.

“You’ve got to be kidding,” Justin said.

Alex knew how close Ms. Davenport and I were, though. “I get how upset you are—”