Pushing Perfect(42)

“Will this help?” He reached behind him and got his wallet out of his back pocket. Inside, folded up into a tiny square that he opened like a paper flower, was a prescription. For Novalert. Already signed and everything.

Relief swept over me, followed by guilt, followed by the knowledge that he’d brought it with him, even before he’d heard what I had to say. He was a better person than I’d given him credit for, and a much better person than I was. But I knew I shouldn’t take it. “You said you weren’t going to do that anymore.”

“I’m not doing for it myself,” he said. “I’m doing it to help you. You’re right that even if I started selling again, it’s no guarantee that this Blocked Sender person would leave you alone, and I don’t want you to have to take the risk of finding out what happens if you don’t do what he says.”

I looked at the prescription, with its wrinkles from where he’d folded it. Now I actually had to go through with it, whatever it was. “I’m scared.”

“You’d be foolish if you weren’t,” he said. “How about we resolve to find a way out of this, somehow? Make it be over?”

“Without us getting in trouble?” I asked. “Without our secrets getting out?”

“If there’s a way,” he said. “If there’s a way, we’ll find it.”

He reached over and squeezed my hand, like I’d wanted to before, and I really did feel better.

Until the next day.

Time to fill that prescription. Walmart, Redwood City, between 1 and 5. Await further instructions.

And one more text, after that.

Tell no one. Or face the consequences.





16.


“What am I going to do?” I asked. My voice sounded whiny, even to me. As soon as I saw the text, there was no question I’d ignore the part about not telling anyone; it was much too late for that. I’d called Alex and she came over right away. She’d never been to my house before, but we needed a quiet place, and her parents were home while mine, as usual, were working. We sat in the living room while I drank cup after cup of coffee as if I needed it to keep me alive.

“I don’t see what choice you have. You do what the text says. Unless you’ve come up with some way to get around it.”

“I’m not sure I can go through with this,” I said. “Getting the pills just for me was one thing, but this is a whole other level of trouble.”

“I understand,” she said. “But you need to think through what will happen if you don’t do it. Get out your logic brain and let’s figure it out.”

I sat up straight, or as straight as the couch cushions would let me. “Okay. We’ve only seen Blocked Sender threaten people; we’ve never seen him come after someone who didn’t do what he said. Although . . .” I told her about my conversation with Raj, how he’d stopped doing what Blocked Sender asked and how he assumed that was what had sent Blocked Sender to me. “I hope it’s okay that I’m telling you—Raj doesn’t know you’re involved too yet, right?”

“No, but he should. We should get him over here.” She texted him and we waited for him to respond.

Be there in ten.

I had a panicky moment when I realized I was practically still in pajamas, with only enough makeup to cover the monster, but I had to let it go. There were more important things to worry about at the moment.

“Do you think there’s a chance Blocked Sender would let it go if I just didn’t do it?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” Alex said. “But if Raj bowing out sent Blocked Sender to you, then it only makes sense that the least bad thing that could happen would be Blocked Sender picking on someone else.”

“He’d probably go right back to Raj,” I said. “Which is not what I want. Or someone else, and then someone else would be going through this and it would be my fault. That’s worse than it happening to me.”

“He could also just follow through on the implied threat,” Alex said. “He could send the pictures to someone. To anyone. Post them online, social media, whatever. Given your rep, word would get out pretty fast. People would love to see Perfect Kara show how not perfect she really is.”

I hadn’t realized the dreaded nickname had made it to Alex. Apparently everyone knew it. Which meant she was right—everyone would love seeing me humiliated like this. I imagined Julia Jackson laughing about it with the Brain Trust at lunch. And then I remembered my other fear, that somehow Blocked Sender had a picture of my actual face. So many ways to show the world I wasn’t perfect.

“So I have to do it. I have no choice. I don’t even know how, though. I’ve never gotten a prescription filled by myself. Am I supposed to use my own insurance card? Isn’t that not a good idea? And how much does it cost? If I pay with a credit card, they’ll know who I am. And aren’t there video cameras at these places? Do I have to show my ID?” The more I thought about it, the more I realized that there was no way I could do this without getting caught.

“You’re spiraling,” Alex said. “One step at a time. Raj will be here any minute—he’ll know the answers to these questions.”

She was right. I focused on my breathing to calm myself down and drank another cup of coffee, even though it would probably have the opposite effect.