Preston's Honor(82)

“For everything you did for me while I was breaking my back to save this farm. I never thanked you and so . . . thank you. Thank you so much, Annalia.”

The truth was, though I wouldn’t wish to relive the experience of her leaving for anything in the world, being left to father Hudson all by myself for a time had impressed upon me what hard work it was caring for a child. Lia had done it virtually alone for the first six months of his life while also caring for me in a hundred small ways I’d never even acknowledged.

Lia’s eyes softened as she stared at me and then her lips turned up and she nodded, the movement so small I would have missed it if I’d blinked. “You’re welcome.”

I returned to my lunch as Lia put some peas and carrots, small bits of cheese, and some macaroni onto Hudson’s tray, and he started picking it up and shoving it into his mouth with gusto. Lia watched him with amusement for a moment before looking over at me.

“How’s it been going with him today?”

She looked pensive for a moment. “Good.” She looked back at Hudson and smiled again. “We’ve been practicing walking. He’s got it if I hold on to him with one hand but as soon as I let go, he goes down. Tomorrow, though. He’s going to be walking by tomorrow.”

I grinned. “Don’t encourage it too much. I hear it’s a whole new ballgame once they’re mobile.”

She laughed softly. “You’re probably right.” She leaned toward him. “Then you’re going to get in all sorts of trouble, aren’t you?” He stopped eating just long enough to give her a messy grin before going back to his food.

“Preston . . .” she started.

I paused, mid chew. “What?”

She picked up a napkin and wiped her hands on it, turning slightly toward me. “I was talking to my boss, Rosa, yesterday and, well, it’s an annual tradition that Abuelo’s makes three hundred tamales for the A Taste of Linmoor event on Sunday, but the kitchen is going to be closed this weekend because they’re upgrading several large appliances. Saturday is the day they usually prepare the food.”

“Okay?”

“Well, they’d make the tamales in Rosa’s kitchen, but it’s so tiny. I’ve been there. Three people can barely fit comfortably in it. And the other staff live in small houses or apartments, too.”

“You want to offer them the use of this kitchen?”

She let out a breath. “I don’t want to impose, and I know your mother would have to approve of it, too, but—”

“It’s fine, Lia. My mom’s gone this weekend anyway. She’s going away with a couple of friends to San Francisco. I don’t know what time she’s leaving on Saturday, but I assume she’ll be gone early. She’s not back until Monday.”

“Oh . . . and you’re sure you wouldn’t mind? Will you be working?”

“Off and on. But no, I won’t mind.”

“Thank you,” she said, so sweetly that my heart jumped. Her eyes were cast down but her cheeks were flushed, and she looked so pleased. That was a look I hadn’t seen on her before. And then it hit me. It was the first time she’d ever asked me for anything. In our whole lives, in all the time I’d known her, in all the years, she’d never once asked me for a single thing. The realization shocked me slightly.

“You’re welcome. Lia . . . I . . . well, you don’t have to work at Abuelo’s. I’m still paying for your mom’s apartment, and I’m happy to keep it up.” Even if she wasn’t living with me right now, and even if we were moving slowly with our own relationship, I wasn’t sure how I felt about the mother of my child waitressing tables. It seemed . . . wrong somehow.

She shook her head. “No, I like it.” She looked away and then back at me. “And I’m going to pay you back, for what you did for my mama, and for me.”

I stared at her. “Pay me back? I don’t want that.”

She took a deep breath, squaring her shoulders. “Well, it . . . it means something to me and so I’m going to anyway. It’s . . . right.”

I released an impatient breath. This wasn’t something I was willing to argue about. I’d take any money she gave me and put it in Hudson’s college account, the one I hadn’t contributed enough to over the past year since every cent I’d had went back into the farm.

I started on the second sandwich, watching Lia as she watched Hudson, a small smile on her face.

“Do you want more?” I asked.

“More what?”

“Kids.”

Her eyes flew to mine and her face seemed to pale slightly. “I . . . no. I think one is enough.”

I couldn’t help the disappointment I felt. “Really? You wouldn’t want to give him a brother or sister someday?”

A line formed between her brows, and I hated that she looked so troubled. “I don’t . . . I mean, would you really want to go through all that again?”

I took a sip of tea, watching her, the muscles of my stomach clenched. I didn’t want to take this personally, but I couldn’t help it. She didn’t want to have any more babies with me. I remembered her telling me she hadn’t thought she was a good mother, but like I’d told her at the time, she’d been wrong. I hadn’t been around a whole lot, but I knew she was devoted, saw the motherly adoration in her eyes when she looked at Hudson. It had just been the circumstances that had made those first six months of his life so difficult for her. “I know it was hard, and the timing wasn’t great, but it wouldn’t be the same again, Lia,” I said quietly. “It would be completely different. I’d make sure of it.” I’d be here with you. Emotionally and physically. Fuck, how I’d let her down.