Play Maker(60)

Somehow, in the haze of all my pain and sadness, I realized my mother had knelt beside me on the floor and was gathering me against her. She stroked my hair, like she had done when I was very little, and rocked me back and forth.

“It’s going to be ok,” she told me, her voice gentle. “I’m here. Everything’s going to be ok.”

I held on tight, crying into her arms and wishing that she had that power.





36





James





I slammed my hand down on the steering wheel, cursing the universe and especially cursing the traffic I had been stuck in for the last hour. Grabbing my phone, I redialed Nicole’s number again. Right to voicemail.

Goddammit.

There was no doubt in my mind that she had seen the photos. I could only imagine what she was thinking. Well, no, I could imagine exactly what she was thinking. That I was a complete and utter wanker. A wanker who had lied to her. A wanker who was seeing other women on the side and was stupid enough to get caught making out with one of them in public. A stupid, untrustworthy wanker. I couldn’t blame her for ignoring my calls, but I hoped she’d at least let me explain things to her in person.

But when I finally got to her apartment, parked the car, raced up the stairs to the apartment and pounded on the door, the person who came to greet me was Mikey. And he was not happy to see me.

His face was stormy and he stared at me, eyes narrowed, through the locked screen door. “Go away,” he ordered, arms crossed.

“I just want to talk to her,” I begged. “I just want to explain.”

“You’re a liar,” Mikey told me, his teeth clenched. I could see color rising in his cheeks. “I don’t like liars. They aren’t nice. You aren’t nice.”

I felt ill. As if it wasn’t bad enough that I had hurt Nicole, I had hurt Mikey as well. Even though it hadn’t been me in the pictures, I had let this whole thing with Rick go on for far too long. I had let my ego take the lead and now I was paying for it. I might have thought I had changed, that I had matured, but I had skipped a few important steps along the way. It was my fault. I should have known better. I should have done better.

“Please, Mikey.” I wouldn’t give up. “Just let me see her.”

“I hate you,” Mikey hissed at me and slammed the door in my face.

I felt gutted. I knew I should leave, but I couldn’t move. I didn’t want to. I thought about knocking again, demanding to see Nicole, but I knew that there was no way that would work. They would call the cops before letting me in. And I had already done enough damage to their little family.

Fuck. I sat down on the top step, raking a hand through my hair. I had royally cocked this up. How could I fix it? Could I fix it?

I straightened. Of course I could fix it. I wasn’t going to give up this easily. But this was a big problem. A problem that was bigger than me. I was going to need help. And I was going to need to clear the air. About everything. Not just to Nicole, but to the world.

Pulling my keys from my pocket, I hurried back to my car. Before I could even begin, I needed to go to the source of this particular problem. And I needed to do that now.



I found Rick at the hotel bar. Maya was there too, but she shot daggers in my direction and refused to serve me. Obviously she had heard the news.

“We need to talk.” I pulled up a barstool next to my teammate.

He had clearly been sitting here for a while drinking. His eyes were bloodshot, and widened when he saw me. I should have felt bad for him, but there was no room among the anger currently coursing through me. If only Rick had kept it in his pants and away from the paparazzi.

“Mate!” He tried to give me a high five, but I wasn’t in the mood to reciprocate so his hand just hung there in the air for a few moments before he lowered it. He tried to play coy. “I don’t know why they keep mistaking me for you,” he said, taking a drink of his whiskey, now avoiding eye contact entirely.

I clenched my jaw. “They keep mistaking you for me because you wear my number when you go out to pick up women,” I reminded him, my voice tight with frustration. “That needs to stop.”

He held up his hands. “Alright, alright. I’ll find someone else who doesn’t mind having their reputation improved upon.”

“No,” I told him, slamming my hand down on the bar. He jumped. So did Maya at the other end of the bar. “No more pretending to be someone else. Just own up to your behavior.”

“I can’t,” he said in a quiet voice.

Shite. “Why. Not.” The words were slow and even. “Because of your kids?” But I knew immediately that wasn’t the case.

He paused and seemed to struggle to find the words. Finally, he spat it out. “Because I have a girlfriend.”

“What the f*ck, Rick?” I exploded at him. It had been one thing to keep his womanizing a secret from his young kids. This was something else entirely. I was filled with disgust. This was so much worse than I had imagined. It didn’t just affect me and Nicole. It affected Rick’s children and his poor, na?ve girlfriend. And I had helped him deceive them. I felt nothing but disdain for the older man.

“You were using me to cheat on your girlfriend?” I grabbed the collar of his shirt, yanking him towards me. “You bastard!”