Play Maker(44)

That realization stopped me dead in my tracks. Greg, one of the newer team members who had been behind me, slammed into my back.

“You ok, mate?” he asked, concern on his face.

“Yeah, yeah.” I shook my head and fell back in step with the rest of the team, who was shouting and cheering. “Sorry about that.”

“No worries,” he said with a smile, clearly high off the win.

I grinned back at him. “Great game,” I told him. “You did great.”

“Yeah? Thanks.” He puffed out his chest. “We did pretty good, didn’t we?”

I slung an arm around his shoulders. “If this doesn’t get Americans excited about football, I don’t know what will.”

He laughed and we headed into the locker room. I knew that he was eager to get upstairs as well, to his wife and young baby, who had come from the UK with him. And as much as the impulse had startled me, I couldn’t deny that I was looking forward to seeing Nicole. It had been a long time since someone had been waiting for me after a game and especially after a game like this one. A game that was probably going to be my last.

That should have made me sad, but I was just amped up over how great it had gone. To leave this as my legacy felt pretty damn good.

I glanced over at Rick, who was groaning as he undressed. He had gotten quite the beating today, leaping and falling hard for the few balls that had made it to him. If our offense hadn’t been so solid, we might not have won the game. I kept meaning to talk to him about keeping out of the press, but after the way he had played today, I decided to give him a break. I could talk to him another time. Besides, things had been pretty quiet for a while. No “Play Maker” in the press, real or not. Maybe he had started to calm down on his own.

I had a feeling his drinking and age were starting to catch up with him in a way that the management wasn’t going to be able to ignore. Of course, they might keep him on the team, but put in a younger goalie to play. That was not how I wanted to end my career, sitting on the bench, watching someone else play the position I had once held, knowing everyone was waiting for me to fade away. No. I wanted to leave on my own terms.

And I was ready to go. Even though I loved the thrill of the game and the excitement that came after the victory, I realized that the thing I was the most excited for was what came after I left the field. It was a realization that made me both eager and a little apprehensive. How much change was too much change? Was I so eager to make my life different that I was hoping for a future that wasn’t really there? Was I moving too fast with all of this?

Because as much as I wanted to see Nicole, I couldn’t shake the voice in the back of my head that told me that I wasn’t ready. That it wasn’t a good idea to keep seeing her. It was pretty clear that she had a life that was full of distractions. Was that why she had done her best to keep me at arm’s length? Was I just fooling myself thinking that I could have everything that I wanted? Did I even know what I wanted?

I showered and dressed quickly, running into Greg again as I headed upstairs to the VIP room.

“Wow,” he noted. “You’re usually one of the last people out of the locker room. Got someone waiting for you?”

“As a matter of fact—” I started, but we had entered the VIP section and Greg’s attention was focused solely on finding his wife and baby. I spotted them before he did and seeing that little kid decked out in his jersey gave my stomach a twist I was not expecting at all.

I had never wanted kids. But right now, looking at that tiny little thing, reaching out to his dad, who was rushing across the room to get to him, I felt a need I had never felt before. He really was a cute kid. All smiles and chubby arms.

But before I could linger on that thought too much, someone had barreled into me, knocking the wind out of my lungs.

“Ooof,” I breathed, as I realized someone was hugging me.

“Mikey!” Nicole was rushing across the room. “I’m so sorry,” she said, pulling her brother back before I could assure her that it was fine. I hadn’t gotten a hug like that in a long time. “He just really enjoyed the game.”

“Did you, buddy?” I asked, taking in the boy’s shy nod. I noticed that he was wearing my jersey.

I looked over to where Ethan was standing with Maya and he raised his beer bottle in my direction. Of course he had given them the jerseys. He knew it would embarrass me. Worst best friend ever.

But I realized I didn’t feel embarrassed by it. In fact, I kind of liked that Mikey was wearing it. Like I had my own private team cheering me on.

“It was like.” He made his hand into a fist and swung it in a circle in front of him. “Like, whoosh! And pow!” He thrust the fist in the air. “And boom! And score!” He made a sound like the crowd cheering.

“It really was,” Nicole said, patting him on the shoulder. “We had a great time,” she told me.

I glanced up at her and saw that she was also wearing my jersey. It looked incredible on her. She looked gorgeous, her blonde hair curling across her shoulders, her red lips smiling and her eyes sparkling. I wanted to take her in my arms and kiss her. Right then and there.

Something about the two of them, in their identical uniforms, smiling at me, both with pride and excitement on their faces, made me feel something I had never felt before. It felt like home.

And it scared the crap out of me. Suddenly the room felt very crowded and hot.