Pieces of Eight (The Frey Saga, #2)(34)

The blades clattered to the floor as Steed blanched at the accusation and Ruby choked on a laugh or her food (or both). I flushed, though I’d technically not been at fault this time.

Ruby, still smiling, stood as she said, “I’ll take her to the practice rooms and catch her on fire instead.”

Chevelle appeared to be in a foul mood. “No, I’ll take over.”

I didn’t understand it had been a dismissal until Ruby winked at me, almost apologetically, as she turned to go. Steed bumped his elbow at my side on his way past, and I watched them as he followed her through the door. My throat was thick when they disappeared. I forced my gaze to meet Chevelle’s but he wasn’t watching me.

He stepped over to the table, taking a seat away from the trays, and motioned for me to join him. My legs felt like lead but I forced them to move.

I sat on his side of the table, but left a chair between us. It was awkward, but I didn’t want him to see my hands tremble, hear how I struggled to breathe evenly. He didn’t seem to notice and, after a moment, I wasn’t sure he even realized I was waiting for him to speak.

The silence built and, as usual, I panicked, blurting out a ridiculous and unnecessary statement. “It was kind of my fault, I looked at the knives and-”

My defense of Steed broke off when Chevelle looked up at me, perplexed by my words. I could see then that he’d not been thinking of anything resembling my training and my mind raced to figure out what could have him so… concerned. Too slow as always, I recalled seeing him earlier, a tense meeting with Ruby and Steed. I’d been so caught off guard by the confusing emotions of the Rune and arranged marriage revelations that I’d not noticed the atmosphere - and then my mind caught up and I asked before I could stop myself, “What did Junnie say?”

He looked surprised and then, finally, nodded slowly before he began in his practiced, careful tone, “You’re remembering more?”

I flushed again at his question, unsure of the implication, and then could only nod in reply.

I thought he was embarrassed for a moment before he explained more clearly. “About council?”

“Oh,” I started, “um, I don’t know.” Ugh. I tried again. “Well, I had remembered some of them, mostly just their faces. But, well, the things I’m getting lately,” I blushed, “they are more about… me.”

“You?”

“Well, the old me, I guess.” His eyes were on me and I couldn’t stop the flow of babble. “And other stuff. I remember Anvil and stones and… and the path.” It took all of my strength not to mention Rune and the lightning and the broken him on the floor. Fortunately, no part of me could even consider speaking the marriage details.

He didn't reply as he watched me, but his jaw tightened.

"What?" I asked, defensive as if he could somehow read my thoughts.

He shook his head and relaxed his face a fraction. I waited. After what seemed to be an eternity, he finally spoke. "It's just... frustrating."

I nodded in agreement automatically, I knew exactly how frustrating it was to have lost the memories, but then what he'd said sunk it. He was frustrated by it. I examined the idea, thinking how my binding affected him, all they'd had to do to protect me: taking care of the things that were supposed to be my responsibility, keeping my fragile brain safe by ferreting away all those secrets, grrr... And then, I briefly thought of the last of those secrets that had been revealed, the one I'd done my best to avoid thinking about, and I wondered if that was the cause. I flushed before I'd even had the chance to consider all the ramifications of that, couldn't think of all those inexplicable looks he'd given me, all the times he'd seemed as if he might reach out to me, couldn't begin to reclassify all that had passed between us in the months since I'd met him. Thought I'd met him.

I glanced at Chevelle, sure my flush would have him moving from me as usual, but he just stared back at me. That was worse.

I fluttered. "Why are you meeting with Junnie, if she is Grand Council?"

It didn't really sound like an accusation, but his brow raised for an instant before he sighed quietly and answered, "It is complicated, Frey."

I gave him a sardonic smirk. What isn't?

He reluctantly began, "While Junnie was a leader of Grand Council, she also-"

"What?" I interrupted.

It took him a second to realize what had confused me, and then he was irritated again. "Yes, she was a leader." Before I had a chance to question him further, he continued, "She does not strictly adhere to their ideas." He had to hold a hand up to stop me from cutting in again. "She is helping us protect you for many reasons but you must remember, she is your mother's aunt."

"She's meeting you to protect me?" I'd heard the words so often they'd begun to have a negative connotation. He nodded but I could see there was more. I thought of the times she'd met them before, warning of Fannie and I wasn't certain what else. "So what did she say I needed protection from this time?"

He hesitated a moment while he formed an answer. "It is not merely protection, she has her own tasks as well."

"What?" I asked, suddenly brave.

He leaned forward as he answered and the courage vanished in an instant. "Freya, there is much you do not know."