Perfect Little World(79)
“That’s what we signed up for,” Susan said. “We’ve made strong bonds and we’ve done what was asked of us, no matter how much it worked against our own instincts. But now you’re changing the parameters. You’re asking us to take on another child, even though we’ve been told that we could only have one child for the duration of the study. What happens to Dr. Kwon’s child? Does she get her own set of teachers and caregivers? Do we go back to the sleep room in shifts to watch over the baby? It feels like there are a lot of exceptions that will be made for this child, when our own children were a collective that operated as a singular body. I don’t know that I’m comfortable with that.”
“And that’s what you want me to say to Dr. Kwon?”
Link then said, “We are the Infinite Family. We are the family, Dr. Grind. Dr. Kwon and the other fellows, the caregivers and teachers, Gerdie, even Mrs. Acklen, help facilitate that family. But they aren’t a part of it in the same way.”
Dr. Grind could not bring himself to ask if he was inside or outside that Infinite Family. It was shocking to him, the fact that he had always considered the Infinite Family to radiate outward, not inward.
“This is what I’ll say. I believe that Dr. Kwon is most certainly an important part of the work we’re doing here. Her contributions have been invaluable in so many ways. She is directly responsible for a number of you even being here in the first place. She has found happiness, a child, and yet she wants to continue her work with the project. I cannot think of a good reason to tell her that, because she is having a child, she cannot participate in the same way. There is nothing, legally, in her contract that stipulates that she could not have a child.”
“We’re not telling her that she can’t have a child,” Julie said, speaking up. “We’re saying that if she has a child, she’ll need to move out of the complex and take on fewer responsibilities with the family. I don’t think that’s as cold as you’re making it seem.”
“Here is what we’re going to do,” Grind said, not even bothering to respond to that line of reasoning, wanting nothing more than to get the hell out of this room. “If this is a family matter, then you will vote on it. All nineteen of you get one vote. A yes means that Dr. Kwon stays on in her role as a fellow, and we make accommodations for the baby. A no means that Dr. Kwon will move out of the complex and I will change the nature of her work with the project.”
“We’re going to vote right now?” Nikisha asked.
“Yes,” Dr. Grind said. “I need to tell Kalina the decision. I think to draw it out would be cruel.” Dr. Grind reached into a drawer and retrieved a notebook and a box of pens. He tore out nineteen sheets of paper, taking absolutely no care to make them ordered and even, and handed these ragged sheets to each parent. “This will be anonymous. I’ll wait in the hallway. Izzy, if you’ll collect the votes and call me back into the room, we’ll make our decision.”
“No chance of a tie, at least, with nineteen of us,” Link offered, which made Dr. Grind want to punch him in the face, a feeling he immediately regretted. Link was one of the best parents in the complex, so giving of his time, so kind. It mystified Dr. Grind that he was leading this charge; he could not conceivably believe that Link was Kalina’s secret lover, his devotion to Julie was so complete. Was it just simple jealousy then? He wondered how many of these parents were secretly worried that their own place in the family, their own children, would be threatened by change.
Dr. Grind sat in the hallway and, nearly ten minutes later, so long that Dr. Grind had no idea how it would contribute to the outcome, Izzy opened the door and called him into the room. On the coffee table were nineteen folded sheets of paper. Dr. Grind scooped them up, rearranged them into a neat pile, and then tabulated the votes in the notebook. The first four votes were all no, and Dr. Grind nearly ripped through the paper as he notched each vote with his pen. But then a flood of yes votes came in until, a miracle that unfolded right in front of Dr. Grind, the yes votes overwhelmed the no’s and the final tally, thirteen to six, meant that Dr. Kwon would stay.
“It’s yes,” Dr. Grind said. He saw Izzy smile and then quickly return to her serious expression. Link stared at the ground and then, in a manner that suggested an elasticity that Dr. Grind wasn’t sure was entirely human, he smiled and looked back at Dr. Grind. “Okay,” Link said. “That’s all I wanted, a family decision. I’m fine with it.”
The rest of the parents talked in whispers, slowly rising from their seats, the decision final. Link then said, as they walked out of the room, “I mean, I like Kalina. She’s great. You know?” And though he was sheepishly smiling, Dr. Grind knew this was an event that would nag at Link, and whoever else voted to keep Kalina out of the family, especially the father of Kalina’s child. Or had the father voted to keep her here, wanting to keep track of the child’s development, to still be a part of the baby’s life without anyone knowing his secret? It was too much to consider right now; all he knew was that the family was in danger of falling apart and he had to do everything that he could, even against his better judgment, to keep it together.
Dr. Grind stayed in the room. He went through the votes again, counting them out another time, thirteen to six. He counted again, thirteen to six. He tried not to imagine what would have happened if the votes had been reversed. It was a family decision, all nineteen parents. But Dr. Grind knew, deep in the secret places of his heart, that no matter what these nineteen parents decided, whether they liked it or not, they were his children, they were all his children, every man, woman, and child who resided inside the AstroTurf-covered buildings of the complex. And if they were his children, he was their father.