Out of Bounds (The Summer Games #2)(97)

“I’m not as naive as I was the first time they were, so hurry up.”

He chuckled, amused by my little tantrum. “Patience. I’m just getting started.”

I inhaled sharply, quick enough to catch his innuendo, but he was already moving on with an annoyed tone.

“I wasn’t aware I let practice out already,” he said, one brow arched in question.

I steeled my back, already prepared with a rebuttal. “I finished all of my routines.”

“So now what? You’re going to head back and lock yourself away in your condo?”

“If that’s what I have to do to keep you away.”

A slow, seductive smirk unrolled across his lips. “Like that would really work.”

Wouldn’t it?

It has to.

He hadn’t even started to unroll the tape from my ankle; he was too busy sparring with me. I wanted to put distance between us and yet I didn’t move. He wasn’t gripping me hard; if I tried to stand up and leave, he wouldn’t be able to stop me. That was the worst realization of all—he wasn’t keeping me there. I was doing it to myself.

“Why are you doing this?” he asked, genuine pain in his voice. “Why are you putting yourself through this?”

I reared back, feeling indignation coat my cheeks. Why was I doing this?

“ME? You’re the reason I can’t breathe!” I accused, finally successful in pulling my foot out of his grip. I ripped at the tape, unraveling it in ragged chunks as I continued. “It’s too much, too suffocating. If I’m not with you, I’m thinking about you. When you’re around, everything else fades to black.” I shook my head, growing more annoyed by the second. “You can’t keep bouncing between too much and not enough, Erik. I don’t even have control over my own brain any more...”

My cheeks were hot and red, partly from my embarrassment at having told him the truth and partly because I was worked up and angry with myself for how far I’d fallen in love with the man crouched down in front of me—a callous, unyielding man who scorched my world and darkened my sky.

He bent lower, closer. Always trying to get closer.

“Don’t you think it’s the same for me? Don’t you think I’m going insane too?”

His voice sounded pained, but I shook my head. There was no way. My obsession with Erik was utterly one-sided. He wasn’t sick—he was the sickness.

As his hand reached for mine, I recognized the intangible and elusive feeling building up inside my chest: hope. That soft thrill that sent rays of light through the darkness was nearly enough to convince me to give in, but the notion was fleeting. Hope was what I’d felt when I’d called Erik from the party. I’d been prepared to lay down my arms and surrender then, but my olive branch had withered and burned. If I gave into him a second time, if I let him any closer and he let me go again, I wouldn’t recover. I’d never forgive him. That’s the reason I had to keep my distance. While it hurt to fall, it was agonizing to be dropped. I couldn’t hear him say he didn’t want me anymore.

“Clearly, we need some space,” I said, working the last bit of tape from my ankle. “I need some space. If something like this was meant to work, it wouldn’t be this hard.”

“Brie…”

His voice nearly crushed me, but I willed myself to stay strong as I shook my head, stood, and grabbed my gym bag.

“I’ll see you at the arena tomorrow,” I said, ending the conversation with a gentle, firm tone before turning on my heel and walking out of the practice gym.

Once the door slammed closed behind me, I paused in the hallway, trying to gulp in as much air as possible. It was impossible to completely fill my lungs around Erik, and each time I walked away from him, it took a little longer for the tension in my chest to lessen. I squeezed my eyes closed and waited for the sensation to pass, for the feeling of control to seep back into my limbs. I shook with the desire to go back to before, to when I didn’t know Erik, when he hadn’t put me under his spell.

I’d put distance between us, but my body still wasn’t cooperating. It buckled under the weight of my love for Erik. My fingers itched to yank open the door. My feet were already turning, prepared to run back to him. I shook my head and balled my hands into fists, trying to overcome the scary idea spiraling through me: falling in love wasn’t a choice. I was on a train barreling down the tracks and to jump off, to go back to the start, I’d lose everything. Erik owned me, body and soul.





Chapter Thirty-Seven


Erik





My feet pounded the pavement outside the Olympic Village. I’d run the five-mile loop that started near the entrance nearly every day since arriving in Rio, grateful to purge the tension Brie built up inside me. My intentions for joining her at lunch had started out innocently enough. After leaving her on the sidewalk, I knew I needed to prove myself. I needed to convince her this wasn’t another game. I wasn’t going to get under her skin, f*ck her, and walk away—not again. I’d slipped into the free spot beside her at the lunch table with the intention of starting fresh. I wanted to show her I could be trusted, but then she’d glared at me with such hatred and suspicion, I knew a clean slate wasn’t possible. We were past the point of friendly first dates and slow-rolling romance. In a way, I was relieved by her fire; if she truly wanted nothing to do with me, there wouldn’t even have been sparks. She was mine, and I would have her regardless of what the next four days held for us.